You Are Nowhere Near
by Lent-san
Summary: The Village of Konoha is under attack.  The enemy strikes silently and at will. Umino Iruka finds himself reminded of the times his parents got killed, 14 years ago and teams up with Hatake Kakashi to find those responsible... and maybe more.
1. Chapter 1 to 3

**You are nowhere near**

The Village of Konoha is under attack. The enemy strikes silently and at will.

Umino Iruka finds himself reminded of the times his parents got killed, 14 years ago.

Might there be a relation? In teaming up with Hatake Kakashi on Tsunade's order,

Iruka finds someone as willing as himself to find the perpetrator... and someone as willing

as himself to leave the past behind. But can they make it?...

Chapter 1

There's a saying in Konoha that's been taught to the children ever since the village was founded by the First and Second Hokage many years ago; a saying that had found its way to a plate now hanging in the hallway of the entrance of the Konoha Shinobi Academy. That saying goes, "Fight fiercely and you will be feared. Fight considerately and you will be followed." The writing on the plate has become old and weathered, and the metal into which it was engraved no longer looks as shiny as it did back in the old days. Still, whenever he passed by the plate on one of his many visits to the Academy, he would stop there for a moment to read it. As much as he believed in the truth of being "considerate to be followed", he wondered what became of the memory of those who died too young to be able to show their true qualities in battle, who died too young to be leaders. Many of them deserved it, he thought. It was certain that each of them was missed by those they left behind. By friends, or family... and sometimes both.

The rain was falling hard on the ground, little white splashes of water exploding on the surface of the stone memorial. The air was thick and heavy and moist, as usual when a thunderstorm hit the Country of Fire, and the person underneath the umbrella was wrapped in thick clothing, protecting him from the rain. The hands that were clenching the handle of the umbrella were not shaking from the cold, though. In all those years that Hatake Kakashi had come here to visit the memorial of his friend Obito, not once had he allowed himself the freedom to succumb to the weather changes: heat, cold, or rain. Even now, his gaze was focussed on the black monument in front of him, and it was hard to tell whether he realized it was raining at all. As always, he didn't remember how long he had been standing at that exact spot when he finally realized that a lot of time had passed, and it was time to return to the village.

Kakashi went forward and touched the monument with his right hand, the other still holding the umbrella. Then, after muttering some words that were drowned out by the rain, he turned around and went down the path that lead back to Konoha, its streets illuminated by the shops and restaurants serving those who were on their way home after finishing their days' work.

Uzumaki Naruto, one of the young shinobi of Konoha, was impatiently drumming his fingers on the counter inside the Ichiraku Ramen stand.

"Ah, I can't wait anymore! Ojisan, please give me the miso ramen with roast pork and egg, and make it big, I'm starving!"

"Alright, alright, Naruto, just a second."

Naruto had already started eating and was delightedly chewing on a slice of pork when the curtains were drawn aside and someone entered, slightly out of breath. Naruto didn't look up from his meal, but instead shouted "Iruka-sensei, you're late!" while eyeing the half of an egg swimming on top of some noodles, ready to attack it with his chopsticks.

"You're right, Naruto. I'm very sorry. I'll treat you for that."

Umino Iruka sat down next to Naruto, breathing out and then looking at his former pupil, breaking into a smile. Naruto, you've already finished half of your meal. Couldn't you have waited for me? It's been a while since both of us had the time to have a meal together, now that you're a full-grown shinobi and out of the village on missions all the time. I take the same, thank you." Iruka said to the owner behind the counter.

"Ah, Iruka-sensei, I'd waited so long for you already, and I was starving, gomen. You're almost like Kakashi-sensei, always so late." Putting the bowl of soup to his mouth with a grin on his face, Naruto drank the last of the broth and then shouted, "Ojisan, one more!"

Iruka turned to Naruto and looked at the fourteen year old boy next to him, a little startled.

"What did you just say, Naruto?"

"Eh, me?" Naruto looked up from his second helping of miso and pork ramen, trying to remember what he had just said.

"Nothing, Iruka-sensei, I just said I was so hungry that I couldn't wait any longer."

"Ah... okay then... let's eat." Iruka smiled, took up his chopsticks and started eating, and soon enough their conversation was filled with the exchange of news, and Naruto talked all about the missions that took him all over the Country of Fire these days.

That night, when Iruka arrived home and lit the lights inside his apartment after closing the door behind him, he couldn't help but smile thinking about how much Naruto had grown since they had been teacher and student back in the old days. Soon Naruto would be a chuunin like he was, Iruka thought as he took off his vest and forehead protector in the hallway. Soon Naruto would be an adult shinobi, pursuing his dreams even more intently to become the future Hokage of Konoha and soon, yes soon... Naruto wouldn't need him anymore. Iruka shut off the lights at the entrance and walked down the hallway towards his bedroom.

For the next two hours, before finally turning off the lights at his bedside and slowly dozing off to sleep, Iruka lay on his back watching the light's reflection on his ceiling and thinking, his heart beating steadily but a little faster than usual. It struck him as odd. This wasn't the first time—he felt something was troubling him lately. But it was something he couldn't put his finger on.

_I love being a teacher. It's what I wanted to be since the first day I entered the academy. So my dream really has come true. I've seen mediocre students become wonderful shinobi (ha ha, Naruto)... Some have surpassed me now. This is my happiness, to see them grow up and become strong and yes, even no longer dependent on me. So why... What is this feeling? The feeling that some... thing is missing...that something's not right..._

Often these days, he found himself thinking of his mother and father, the way they were 14 years ago in those last days before they died. He remembered the last time he saw them; the village in an uproar while the Nine Tails was attacking. His mother had ordered him to stay at home.

"Iruka, you stay here, close the door behind us. And don't go out. I forbid you to go out, do you understand me?" His mother's expression had been fierce, yet he had noticed the despair in her eyes at having to leave her child behind this way.

"Yes, mom, I understand".

His father gave him a long hug and kissed him before they left.

"We'll be right back, son. Don't worry."

The last images that Iruka remembered of his parents were of them holding hands as they ran down the hallway to the entrance of the house, looking into each other's eyes, and then disappearing from sight as they hurried down the stairs. The sight of both of them, holding hands and exchanging a last glance, was one that was burned into his memory forever and tonight, again, the memory seemed more vivid than ever. So vivid it hurts, he thought, but there was nothing he could do about it. And while the sky outside lightened up and dawn was already approaching, Iruka fell asleep.

The morning air was still cold when Nara Shikamaru closed the door behind him and stepped onto the empty street in front of his house to leave for Tsunade-sama's office. The fifth Hokage had called all the jounin and some of the chuunin to her office that morning for a conference on how to deal with some incidents that had happened the week before along the border to the Country of Rain.

Shikamaru scratched his head, yawning, the sun blinding him as he walked up the street towards the Hokage's headquarters.

"Man, this is so troublesome, it's far too early. I didn't even have breakfast yet."

Entering the main street, Shikamaru saw someone standing in front of a fruit stand that hadn't opened yet, holding up a book and reading. He was mumbling to himself while adjusting his forehead protector with his free hand. Shikamaru only got bits and pieces of what the person was saying. It sounded something like "She's gonna kill me if I'm late. I can't be late this time... Just one more page, then I'm really off..."  
"Kakashi-sensei. Good morning! You're off to Godaime's office as well?"

Kakashi looked up from his book, a little surprised, as if he hadn't expected to meet anyone else this early.

"Ah, Shikamaru of the Naras. Good morning. Yes, I'm off to Godaime's office as well. Er... what time is it, exactly?"  
Shikamaru smirked. Kakashi joined him and both walked further up the road, towards the big stone monument overlooking Konoha village under which the Hokage's office was located.  
"It's twenty past seven. No need to hurry, there's still enough time. The meeting isn't until eight."  
"Eh, really?"

Kakashi looked surprised, and after a pause he scratched his head. It seemed he was pondering something.

"Um, Shikamaru-kun, I just realized I forgot something. Would you mind walking the rest of the way alone? I'll be meeting you at the conference later then."

"Ah, okay, Kakashi-sensei..."

Before Shikamaru was able to finish his sentence, Kakashi had already vanished in a small cloud of smoke, true shinobi style.

"So troublesome, isn't it? That guy always comes and goes in such a flashy way..." Shikamaru grinned and turned around, continuing the walk to Tsunade-sama's offices.

It was a quarter to eight when Umino Iruka arrived in front of the Hokage's headquarters, his steps steady but a little slower than usual. He stopped next to the stairs that led up the office. Iruka didn't feel too well, and he realized those nights with only few hours of sleep were starting to get to him. He then took a look at his watch. Since there were still a few minutes left, he decided to sit on the stairs for a moment before going up.

"It can't be helped, Iruka", he said to himself, shaking his head, "there's no way you can go on like this." While he was pondering whether he should ask Tsunade-sama for some medication that would at least enable him to sleep at night, Iruka closed his eyes and held his face up towards the sun. There was a soft scent in the air and the sound of birds chirping in the trees above him. The morning seemed peaceful... almost too peaceful. And that's when he realized that he was not alone.

He opened his eyes. The street in front of him was empty. There was no sound now aside from the wind in the trees... And yet, the silence was deceiving. He knew someone was there.

Iruka looked up, and in a tree in front of him he recognized the familiar figure of a silver-haired man of around thirty, squatting on a limb. One hand held a book, and the other was raised in greeting as their eyes met.

"Yo!"

"Kakashi-senpai, it's you. I thought I was hallucinating for a moment." Iruka gave a sigh of relief, laughing.

Kakashi jumped down from the tree and sat down on the stairs next to Iruka.  
"I'm very sorry, Iruka-sensei. I didn't mean to surprise you like that. My bad."

Iruka shook his head.

"No, that's okay, Kakashi-senpai. Don't worry, I was just... But, why are you here already?" Iruka turned around and looked at the older man, mildly astonished.

"Aha! You mean why am I not late this time?" Kakashi answered, a guilty expression on his face.

Both men laughed.

"Actually, that isn't what I was going to ask," Iruka said, smiling. "I was just wondering why you were here and not waiting up in Tsunade-sama's office with the others, you know..."

"Ah, I see." Kakashi paused for a while. Both of them watched a bird land a few feet in front of them, pick up some straw, and fly away again.  
Kakashi kicked a stone that he had spotted on the ground, and it made a slight clicking noise as it bounced off the wall of the Hokage's headquarters. "For the same reason as you, don't you think, Iruka-sensei? Sometimes it's just nicer to spend a few minutes alone, in quiet. I guess that's why."

Iruka glanced over at him. Kakashi wasn't looking at him, but stared into the distance, smiling.

"Hm, maybe you're right."

"How is Naruto doing? I haven't seen him since we got back from our last mission to the Village of Sand. I heard you were supposed to meet him for dinner yesterday?"

"Ha, well..." Iruka laughed. "You know what he's like. When I arrived at the ramen stand, Naruto had already finished his first bowl and was screaming for more. He will never change."

"I guess you're right about that. But you know what? There's no need for him to change. He's a good boy. You raised him well." Kakashi smiled.

"It wasn't really me who raised him after all, you know... it's more like..."

"Well, he sees you as his surrogate father, more or less... Doesn't that mean that you've had at least some influence on him? Don't be so humble about that, Iruka-sensei."

There was a moment of silence before a breeze shook the tree branches above them.

"Well, I guess it's time. We'd better go now." Kakashi said, jumping to his feet, as he stowed away his copy of _Icha Icha Dream Vacation_ in his pocket.

"Hm," Iruka muttered. He got up and passed by Kakashi as both men slowly walked up the stairs to Tsunade-sama's office.

Kakashi noticed that his last remark had done something to Umino Iruka. The smile he had seen just a moment before had been suddenly wiped off the teacher's lips. His expression had become stern and serious. Kakashi followed the younger man up the stairs, and for a moment he felt the urge to ask him whether he had said something wrong, as it seemed he had. Pondering for a while, he decided against it. Sometimes, some things were better left unspoken, and after all, Kakashi felt it was neither the time nor the place to ask Iruka-sensei if he was okay.

**Chapter 2**

A group of men and women had already gathered in the fifth Hokage's office when Iruka and Kakashi arrived there. Tsunade sat behind her desk, watching the last of the shinobi enter the room.

"Alright, quiet everyone! Please close the door, Shikamaru!"

Kakashi sat down on a table near the front window while Iruka went to Tsunade-sama's desk to sit down there (a place that was given to him by Tsunade herself, as he was the main teacher of the young shinobi at the Konoha academy).  
When Iruka went to the front without looking at him and sat down next to Tsunade, Kakashi followed the younger man with his eyes. He couldn't help but noticing a strange feeling in his stomach as he did, which had something to do with the encounter they just had had on the stairs outside.

How could it be that the young and popular Iruka-sensei, whom all the children admired and all the other shinobi teachers at the academy only spoke well of, looked so lonely at times? For Kakashi it was normal to be like that: to be on his own, take care of his team, take care of his own. He didn't expect someone else to do that for him, nor did he ever really think about it. But Iruka... he shouldn't be like that. He didn't even know whether the younger teacher had a girlfriend. They rarely talked about stuff like that, since basically they almost entirely talked about work related things or exchanged a few words when they met at the Ichiraku Ramen stand. But since he had never seen him with a woman, Kakashi guessed there was no one. It wasn't really fair for someone who always took care of others the way Iruka-sensei did to be alone like that. _But well_, Kakashi thought, looking outside the window where the sun was slowly rising, _it can't be helped, can it?_

Some people have their family surrounding them, some spend their life alone, some die when they're young. Just in sight, a few hundred meters away, he could see the graveyard where all the people he had ever cared about were lying now. His mother, who had died when he was too young to remember anything about her, and his father, who had taken his own life when Kakashi had been just a little boy. Rin, his old teammate, who had been killed on a mission several years ago when a kunai hit her in the back. And Obito, his best friend, who had died defending Kakashi and Rin many years earlier, and whose memory Kakashi was reminded of every day when he was looking in the mirror. Obito had given one of his Sharingan eyes to Kakashi to be transplanted into his body when Kakashi had lost his own and Obito was lying on the ground dying. A rock had smashed one half of his body while he was fighting against their enemies, defending his friends.

Not a day had passed since this incident that Kakashi hadn't gone to visit the stone memorial where Obito's name was engraved along with many other names of shinobi that had died in battles. And not a day had passed that he didn't morn the loss of his best friend that he couldn't save back then. Sometimes the pain was barely noticeable, like a small stitch that itched only when he thought of it, and sometimes it hit him full force when he woke up at night from nightmares in which he tried to grab Obito's hand to pull him out, but instead saw him being smashed by the rocks, over and over again, while Obito was calling his name. Those were the nights that he grabbed one of the books on his shelf and read until morning, as he was afraid to fall asleep again.

When Rin was still alive, she and Kakashi spent a lot of time together after the incident that killed Obito. When they got older, the village soon heard rumors about both of them being more than just friends and teammates. Rin had been very pretty, Kakashi remembered. Her hair had been sable-colored, and her skin light. Her smile was bright and happy, even after Obito's death. He remembered the long walks they took together, often talking about their common friend and teammate and how they remembered him.

Kakashi didn't completely understand the nature of his feelings for Rin and whether they surpassed those of a deep friendship, but he knew he really cared about her—after all, he had promised Obito that he would take care of her, and he intended to fulfill his promise.

He remembered a particular day when he and Rin were out in the woods, and Rin had been quiet for quite a while as they were walking along. That's when he suddenly decided to ask her to marry him.

Rin didn't look surprised, much to his surprise, and didn't answer immediately. Instead, she looked at the sky and smiled her typical smile, a little less brightly than usual maybe.

"Kakashi," she said, looking at him, "whatever promise you have given to Obito, you have no obligations towards me."

"I know, but that's not it." Kakashi said, looking at the girl with a confused expression on his face. He hadn't been aware that Rin knew about the promise he had given to Obito, but that wasn't why he'd asked her. "That's not it."

"Oh, it isn't?" Rin said, and leaned against a tree. She didn't look at Kakashi, who was still watching her. "So you do love me?" she said, now turning his head towards him.

Kakashi didn't answer right away, but instead was trying to grasp what she meant. How could she ask him a question like that? Why would he ask her to marry him if he didn't have special feelings for her?

"Yes, of course I do. I care for you, very much so."

Rin smiled and stared at the sky again. Then she sat down on the grass underneath the tree and looked at him.

"Kakashi, do you think Obito would want the two of us to marry? Is that why you're asking?"

"What do you mean, Rin? I don't understand."

Kakashi sat down in front of her. They both looked at each other. And then, again, Rin showed her bright smile and shook her head.

"It's not me you want to marry, Kakashi. I am not the one you're looking for."

Kakashi picked up a stick and poked the earth with it. Now it was he who shook his head. "I really don't understand, Rin. I always thought... you know... that you had certain feelings for me. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Rin laughed and laid one of her hands on Kakashi's knee. He thought he saw a trace of sadness in her eyes, yet he didn't really understand why.

"Some day you will find someone that you really wanna be with—a person you love and wanna take care of. But that person isn't me. Even if you don't understand it now, you will understand it later."

Kakashi didn't look at her, but kept on poking the earth with the stick in his hands. Then he threw it away. He didn't know what to say. His mind had gone blank.  
"Believe me. You're a bright boy, Kakashi; you will realize when you find that person that I would never have been the one to make you happy. And you should be happy. Because that is what Obito would have wanted you to be, don't you think?"

Her hand on his knee shook slightly. When Kakashi looked up, he saw a tear running down Rin's face, and his heart hurt watching her like this. He took her hand, and both of them sat there underneath the tree until the sun began to set, neither of them saying a word.

After that day, Kakashi didn't see Rin very often. She got transferred to another team and eventually married another shinobi a few years later. When she got killed, he attended her funeral and watched her husband and her little daughter cry at her grave. He was feeling numb that day, number than ever.

After the ceremony was over, he had gone to Obito's memorial stone and had sat down in front of it. _See? I couldn't protect her, Obito. I failed, once again. While I do my job and guard whoever pays for it, I can't even help those important to me... I know I tried to protect her, but she wouldn't let me. Now there's no one left, is there? Everyone's gone now. Forgive me, Obito, but it seems I couldn't keep my promise..._

Kakashi remembered how he had returned to his apartment that day, thinking of his father and how he had committed suicide after returning from a mission that had failed because he had decided to save his friends instead of completing it. On that particular night, the thought of killing himself was an urge that he was barely able to overcome. In the end he didn't do it, though. The only thing that was left in his life was being a shinobi now, and protecting those inside the village. And he felt obliged to pursue that, until the bitter end. No matter how bad he felt, he wouldn't allow his emotions to get the better of him. He couldn't save Obito, and he couldn't save Rin. But he owed it to both of them to not give up what all of them had become shinobi for. If that meant for him to spend the rest of his life alone to pursue his goal, he accepted it. But he would never, ever lose an important friend, or someone that he was supposed to be protecting, again. Never again.

Kakashi looked up from the graveyard outside and noticed that Tsunade had already started talking. Everybody was listening to her attentively, since the rumors that had spread about what had happened had been serious and alarming.

"Everyone, listen! Many of you probably already heard what happened, but let me tell it again for those of you who haven't. The Country of Rain officially asked for our help a few days ago, since many of their guards disappeared or got killed recently while patrolling the border to the Country of Stone. The Hokage of the Hidden Village of Rock has released a statement denying any involvement of the country's shinobi in those incidents, and so far there has been no reason to doubt that. Yet this presents us with a difficulty." The expression on Tsunade's face was more serious than ever, Kakashi noticed. It seemed what had happened was really not to be taken lightly.

"Our biggest problem at the moment is that we don't know who we are up against. As you know, there are several of our people who were guarding the border to the Country of Rain missing as well. It seems as if whoever is responsible for that is already in our territory. So we have to be very alert as long as we don't know what's going on. Upon consultation with the shinobi of the Country of Rain, I have come to following conclusion: we will send more teams to the border to investigate the incidents. And further, we will have a few teams patrolling the village at night, since the last person who disappeared, Hakuri, was found dead a few days ago not far away from the village, as you all might remember."  
There was whispering among those present. It seemed the situation was worse than many had imagined, Kakashi noticed. He himself had known of the incidents, but hadn't been aware of their magnitude. It seemed that the seemingly peaceful last months had been deceiving after all.

"Questions anyone? No? Okay, that's all for now then. Kakashi, Iruka, would you come to me for a second please?"

Kakashi stood up along with Iruka, who turned around, and both men gathered in front of Tsunade.

"Kakashi, as the highest ranking jounin, I want you to be in charge of organizing the patrols inside and outside the city. You choose the teams and have them sent to their assigned locations. Iruka, I want you to assist with that. Is that okay?"

They both nodded.

Tsunade sighed. "Ah, where's the old geezer when we need him? Have either of you heard anything about Jiraiya yet?"

"Last time I saw him was when he was still in the Village of Sand, helping the Kazekage Gaara in building the new Shinobi Academy there. But he doesn't seem to be there anymore, since we already sent for him and were told that he left there two weeks ago. We don't know where he is at the moment," Kakashi said, shaking his head.

"That idiot Jiraiya. Oh well, it can't be helped, I guess. Ok, I'll leave the two of you in charge, as I have something important to do. I will be awaiting your report on the teams tomorrow."

Kakashi noticed the newspaper with the betting results on Tsunade's desk next to a bottle of sake, but it was better not to mention it. One thing he had learned about her since she became Hokage was that it was better not to argue with her, as one of her fists was able to knock a grown man off his feet. And as the woman in charge, she would take gruesome revenge for any criticism by giving out missions like cleaning the elementary school's bathrooms if she was put in a particularly bad mood—which was the case if someone kept her from spending quality time with her drinks and various other distractions.

Tsunade looked at Kakashi, and then at Iruka. "That's it. You may go."

"Right... We're off then, I guess," Kakashi said, turning on his heels and heading for the door. Iruka followed him out, closing the door behind them.

There was a moment of silence when both of them stood in the hallway. Then Kakashi broke it by giving out a few precise orders. "Iruka, I want you to check which of the older pupils of the academy might be able to help patrol at night, since we barely have enough experienced teams inside the village at the moment. I will make a plan for the next few days; I have all the lists of available teams at home. Please hand me a list by this afternoon."

"Okay." Iruka nodded.

"Good. Then I'll be off now."

"Okay."

Kakashi went to turn around but stopped in his movements. "Err, thank you, Iruka..."

Iruka looked back at him. Then he nodded.

Both men exchanged a last glance and then parted in different directions.

**Chapter 3**

It was early afternoon when Kakashi sat at his desk in his living room, brooding over papers that included the various teams that were available for planning at present. He had decided to have at least two teams patrolling the village at night, one experienced and maybe one lesser experienced, since there weren't as many experienced teams available as he wished. Still, the task ended up being more difficult than he had hoped.

It was making things worse that he didn't know anything about the folks they were up against. He hated the thought of sending inexperienced genin shinobi from the academy, aged twelve to sixteen, towards an uncertain enemy. But as things were standing it seemed he didn't have a choice.

He took a sip of tea and looked at the picture at his bedside of himself, Rin, and Obito, with Yondaime, the fourth Hokage, standing behind them as their team leader. Next to it he had the picture of Team Seven: Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto, and himself as the team leader. It was strange how those pictures resembled each other... and how the people in those pictures looked alike. Obito had been a member of the Uchiha clan, just like Sasuke. They were not particularly similar-looking, yet their eyes were the same. Sasuke... Another one he hadn't been able to save. Sasuke had joined Orochimaru, who was in hiding at the moment.

What had hurt Kakashi even more than loosing one of his pupils like that was seeing how desperate Naruto and Sakura had been when they couldn't stop Sasuke from leaving. Especially Naruto... He had almost lost his life trying to get Sasuke back two and a half years ago at the Valley of the End. Kakashi had brought Naruto back to the village afterwards, and noticed the despair that Naruto felt when he was admitted to the hospital after what must have been a gruesome fight with Sasuke at the waterfall. That despair reminded him of what he felt upon losing Obito; Naruto was just like him in that respect. He had grown older now, and was more mature since returning to the village with Jiraiya, who had been training him for the last two and a half years, but still, all he talked about was getting Sasuke back.

Kakashi, just like Sasuke, had no one close to him to fight for anymore. He had always understood why Sasuke's main goal was to go after his brother Itachi, who was responsible for the killing of the Uchiha clan. He understood that it was something Sasuke needed to do. But having Sasuke fall victim to Orochimaru and join his forces... That was something he wished by all means he could have prevented. If only he had been present when Sasuke left the village and been able to stop him, Sakura wouldn't have suffered as she had. And Naruto wouldn't have suffered as he had. There was nothing known about Sasuke's whereabouts these days. Whenever Naruto was ready for it, Kakashi would join him to help him get Sasuke back. Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto... The old Team Seven...

He looked at the clock. It was already ten past three, and he needed to get on with his planning, so he shook off those thoughts and focused on his work. He was the one in charge, and he had to take responsibility for a lot of people, so the least he could do was to give his task the highest attention possible. And the priority for the task was to secure the village while putting as few teams in danger as possible. He started writing down a schedule system on a sheet of paper before him while the afternoon sun now fell through his curtains.

Some time later, when he had just made a schedule for Gai's team (including Lee, Tenten and Neji), and had just had another sip of tea, there was a loud knock on the door.

It took him by surprise, and he spilled a little of the green tea across his desk.  
That must be Iruka, of course... _What the hell am I doing here?_ He looked at the tea stains on some of the blank papers and dried the spots with his sleeve.

Before he could say, "Come in," the door opened and Naruto entered, wearing an excited expression on his face. He blurted out immediately, "Kakashi-sensei, is it really true? Are the Akatsuki coming to attack the village? Or is it maybe Orochimaru who's behind it? I just heard it from Shikamaru...!"

"Naruto, first of all, calm down. And please don't come bursting in like that unless you want to give me a heart attack—and I'm far too young for that. We don't know yet who's behind it."

Naruto bent over and put his arms on his knees. He was out of breath from running.  
"I'm sorry Kakashi-sensei, I didn't mean to give you a heart attack; I didn't even know you had a heart, after all." Kakashi looked up, perplexed, right into Naruto's grinning face.

"Just a joke, Kakashi-sensei, just a joke. Don't look at me like that, I wasn't serious." He patted the older man's shoulder in a friendly manner, and then he sat on the bed next to the table. "Hm, so we don't know yet who's behind it." Naruto looked disappointed, and Kakashi knew why.

Every bit of information about either Orochimaru or Akatsuki would have meant getting closer to Sasuke as well. Kakashi felt for Naruto. Both of them sat there silently for a few minutes, not saying anything.

"Um, Kakashi-sensei... Can I ask you something?"

"Hm? What is it?"

Naruto looked around the apartment, thinking. Then he looked at Kakashi with a curious expression on his face. "It's something I wanted to ask you before, but I thought you might get angry at me or something..."

"Go ahead, Naruto."

"Um, I was wondering... you know... I wondered why you're living all alone, Kakashi-sensei..."

Again, Kakashi looked at Naruto, perplexed. He didn't know why, but somehow this conversation had taken a really strange turn. "Now what exactly do you mean by that, Naruto?"

"It's just... I was talking to Sakura today, and she said that people wanna marry when they're older or find someone to live with, even if they don't wanna marry, because that's common sense and everybody does it. But then I thought that many of the older shinobi are not married—like you, or Asuma-sensei, or Ero-senn–I mean, Jiraiya-sensei, or even Iruka-sensei... Um, so I wondered why..."

Kakashi took a deep breath. "So you have been talking to Sakura..." Kakashi sighed.  
No wonder Naruto was confused; girls his age were usually ahead of the boys when it came to questions like that, and Sakura was a particularly tough case.

"Hm, Naruto, actually, that's difficult. As you know, being a shinobi is a dangerous job. People go on missions and some of them die or get hurt, so they probably feel this isn't something they'd want to involve a partner in. It's... hm... how can I say it..."

"Lonely...?" Naruto looked at his hands. "I mean, isn't it, Kakashi-sensei? It seems lonely to me, to not have a family and to always be on your own."

Kakashi's heart had skipped a beat when Naruto said that, but he tried not to show his surprise. "Actually, I meant to say something else. But yes, Naruto, it can be lonely at times. But that's the way it is, there's no way a–"

"Haven't you ever been in love with someone?" Naruto now had his hands on his knees, and his voice sounded so sad and serious that Kakashi actually felt a cold sensation running down his spine. He didn't understand what had inspired this conversation, but it seemed that Naruto was dead serious about it.

Kakashi hesitated for a while, thinking. There were only two people in his life that he thought he had loved—if love was the right word for it. He didn't know whether a word existed for what he had felt. But since both of them were dead, it probably didn't matter anymore.

"Yes, I loved someone, Naruto, a long time ago. But when we love someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that we wanna marry them. Sometimes we love our friends the same way, because they are important people to us."

"I don't understand this, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto was watching his feet on the ground, shaking his head. "I know I'm still young, but I don't understand why some of the girls make such a fuss over boys, but treat their best friends very badly. I mean, I think when you love someone, it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl, does it? Because when you love that person, you don't care about that, right?"

For a moment Kakashi didn't know what to say. Naruto posing these questions... What exactly was he getting at...?

"Sometimes, Naruto, things are not that easy. You're right in general, but sometimes it's more difficult than that..."

"You mean, because we can't marry our friends, ne, Kakashi-sensei? Like Sakura and Ino. I mean, Sakura loves Ino, and she's her friend, but they cannot marry. Or like Chouji and Shikamaru. Or like, hm... you and Iruka-sensei. Or like me and Konohamaru... or... or..."

Kakashi looked at the young boy next to him, startled. Then his expression became serious. "That's right, Naruto. Because men marry women and women marry men. That's how it is."

"Hm, that's strange, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto was still looking at the ground. "Maybe I don't understand it so well, but I think some women would rather like to marry a woman and some men would rather like to marry a man, wouldn't they? Because they like them more. So even if they can't marry, they still wanna be together because they like each other, and I think that's only normal. I don't know why some people make such a fuss about that..."

Just seconds ago, Naruto had looked like the old Naruto to Kakashi: the boy who practiced sexy no jutsu to grotesque perfection and bragged about how many cups of ramen he could eat per day. Now suddenly Kakashi realized that Naruto had grown a lot since those days. He was a young man now, with his own thoughts and opinions. He was no longer the boy who wasn't to be taken seriously... And Kakashi noticed that, because his heart was beating faster now. What Naruto was saying moved him in a strange way, in an unexpected way... And he didn't know what to say to that, so after he took a pause, he muttered, "I guess you're right," while his eyes went from overlooking the papers on his desk to the pictures at his bedside.

"I mean, they say it's not normal... but I think that's stupid. Who decides what's normal or not, it's not like it's written down on a scroll somewhere, is it..."

The picture of himself, Obito, Rin and Yondaime looked like it was taken yesterday, Kakashi thought. No, it _felt _as if it had been taken yesterday. He remembered that he had had a similar conversation with Obito once, when they had taken a break from their training and paused underneath some trees. He remembered that Obito had said the same things that Naruto just said and that just like now, he hadn't known what to say, so he said nothing. After a while, both boys continued with their training and parted that night, just like they did every night. And Kakashi also remembered that that night he didn't sleep because he had been unable to get Obito's words out of his head.  
"So, Kakashi-sensei, can I ask you something else?"

Kakashi paused again, and then said, "Yes, you can." He looked at the boy.

"You said you loved someone a long time ago. So... do you think you will ever love someone else again?"

"Hm... You can never decide on that, Naruto... But maybe someday I will."

"Good!" Naruto looked at him now, and started smiling. "Because I think you should, Kakashi-sensei. And then you probably won't need those boring books anymore!" Naruto shouted, pointing at the complete collection of Icha Icha Paradise on Kakashi's shelf and holding his belly, laughing. Kakashi couldn't help but join Naruto in laughing, when they heard a knock at the door and Umino Iruka's voice could be heard.

"Kakashi-senpai, are you there? It's me, Iruka?"

Kakashi stopped laughing and arranged the papers on his desk to a correct and orderly heap. Then he shouted, "Err yes... come in, please!"

While he looked at the door that was opening, he realized that Naruto was smiling at him for a second before he also turned to the door and shouted "Iruka-sensei! You're here! We've been waiting for you already!"

Iruka stopped after crossing the doorstep, looking astonished. "You have? How did you even know I was coming here, Naruto?"

Naruto laughed. "Kakashi-sensei told me! He said you needed to talk about something very important!"

Kakashi looked at Naruto with a mixture of anger and confusion while he noticed some blood rushing to his head due to the blatant lies Naruto was telling. "Naruto, what are you talking about...?"

"Never mind, I need to go now. Iruka-sensei, will you come to Ichiraku Ramen later?"

"Eh, maybe, Naruto... It depends on how soon we're finished here, I guess. We have lots of work to do."

"I know, I know. If you come, bring Kakashi-sensei along, okay? Then we can have dinner together and both of you can tell me about my role in the super-mega-important defense plan for the village, and I, the future Hokage, am ready for it!"  
He made a "nice guy" pose, just like Gai would have done in this situation, pointing his thumb up, then took one last look at Kakashi and Iruka and stormed out the door, smiling. Both men looked after him, unable to say a word.

More to come


	2. Chapter 4 to 6

**Chapter 4**

Iruka turned back to Kakashi with a confused expression on his face that prompted both of them to start laughing. The ice was broken, it seemed.

"I have no idea what that was all about …"Kakashi said, looking around. "I'm sorry about the mess, I didn't have time to clean up."

He took a few papers off the chair next to him.

"Tea?"he asked, taking a cup from the shelf and placing it on the table.

"Err, yes. Thank you." Iruka sat down and put a map and some papers on the table.

While Kakashi, with his back turned, was getting some tea, Iruka took time to look around his senior's apartment. It was indeed the first time that he ever visited Hatake Kakashi at home. It was small and sparsely furnished, but everything was functional, just like he had expected them to be. There was an orderly-made bed next too the desk where they sat and and compact closet. A shelf was placed next to the entryway. The only personal things he could make out were some well 'groomed' plants on the windowsill and two pictures of team Yondaime and Team 7 next to a row of books. He couldn't help smiling when his gaze fell upon them. How interesting, Iruka thought. He would have never that Kakashi-senpai had a sentimental side to him. The always cool and always in control Kakashi never appeared to have been overly affectionate when it came to his work and that included the team members at least that was how he had always appeared to Iruka. But it seemed he had been wrong about that. Well, it was sort of a surprise, but not an unpleasant one. When he had left his own apartment before, Iruka had indeed felt a little nervous about visiting Hatake Kakashi at his home. It was hard for Iruka to describe why, but the air that surrounded Kakashi didn't usually make it easy for people to engage in conversations with him. Although he was always polite and sometimes even cracking joke, there was a distance that people usually were never able to bridge. It wasn't only the mask that Kakashi always wore, Iruka thought, while watching the elder but more an expression in Kakashi's eyes that seemed to warn people not to overstep a certain line. What line that was Iruka could only guess. Kohai and senpai? Jounin and Genin? He didn't know. But he was relieved to find the elder good-natured and not stiff at all and after a last look at the windowsill, Iruka realized that Kakashi had already sat down and was watching him patiently.

"Shall we?" Kakashi said with a smile as he placed a cup of tea in front of Iruka.

"Yes, of course." Iruka said, taking his gaze off the shelf and towards the table.

During the next few hours the two of them brooded over their papers and planning schedules for all the various teams that were available and ready to be put in place. The first teams would be sent off to the border tomorrow and Kakashi had proposed to have himself, Naruto and Sakura take over the guard duty starting that night, together with Asuma's team containing Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru, all of whom had already been informed of their tasks.

It was past eight when Kakashi sat back in his chair, stretching himself while Iruka wrote down the last notes on the sheet of paper in front of him.

"I guess that is it?" Kakashi said, taking a look at the alarm clock by his bedside.

"We got through that faster than I thought."

Iruka arranged the papers in front of him.

"Yes, and I think it was the best we could achieve, given the shortage of teams available. Kakashi tried to pour himself another cup of tea but found that the pot was empty.

"Some more tea?" he asked, looking at Iruka.

"Ah, yes. Thank you".

Kakashi stood up and went to prepare some water on a stove outside in the hallway.

Iruka looked after the older man who was stretching his arms and scratching the back of his head while walking outside.

It really was strange to see Kakashi like this. Inside the four walls of his own home he indeed looked way more relaxed and at ease than when they met outside on the streets or at work. Which, of course, was only natural. Kakashi was probably the most professional of all the shinobi in the village. He would never go into missions the least bit unprepared and even in normal conversations he always seemed focussed and dedicated to what he was doing, up to the point that the impression he left was that of a man without insecurities or flaws; and that's why it sometimes got intimidating to talk to him.

The Kakashi that Iruka saw tonight was really a very different one. The elder shinobi came back holding the pot of hot water in his hands and cursing because the handles were too hot to hold for long. He had even lowered his mask some time ago when they were having a long debate over a certain team. Iruka had rarely seen Kakashi-senpai without the mask that covered the bottom half of his face; just like most people. Some even claimed to have never seen Kakashi without it; and since he almost always wore the mask, it was very possible that this was true. Now without it, Kakashi seemed less intimidating and rather friendly, and even… pleasant.

Iruka didn't notice he was smiling but became aware of it when Kakashi stopped to put the pot on the table with an astonished expression on his face, before cursing again, because the pot had apparently scalded his fingers. He looked at Iruka.

"What? Did I do something?" He looked around him curiously.

Iruka laughed.

"Haha, forgive me for being so open, it's just… it's so rare to see you like this, Kakashi-senpai…. I'm sorry. I hope I'm not being impolite."

For a moment it looked as if Kakashi was trying to make sense of what Iruka had just said.

"No, of course you're not." he said, sitting down and looking thoughtful.

"Is it so different to the way I usually look?" he asked curiously.

"Well," Iruka smiled, "if you don't mind me saying so: yes, it is."

"And why would that be? Because of this?" Kakashi pointed at the mask which was now lying on the bed.

"Er, well, yes and no… usually you're very serious and reserved… which is fine, don't get me wrong! But it's just different to see you a little more open right now. Ha, I'm sorry, that sounds really harsh." Iruka laughed.

"Ah." Kakashi said, staring at the wall, "so usually I'm boring and stiff, you mean." His eyes showed he was joking but Iruka felt he had probably gone too far. Blood rushed to his face.

"That´s not what I said." Iruka shook his head, putting his cup back on the table, "… and certainly not what I meant."

"It's almost what Naruto said to me before. He said he didn't know I had a heart. It's seems most people have this impression of me these days." Kakashi muttered, more to himself than to Iruka, it seemed.

"Well, I'd say, and as a teacher this is what I tell my students to do, it's obvious you're very good at controlling your emotions. It's important for a shinobi to achieve this; it may be the most important thing during battles where it's necessary to act with precision and speed. The perfect shinobi is able to control his emotions to the fullest when doing his job…"

"But...? Kakashi looked over at him.

"But… usually I try to tell my students that it's also important to be able to let go and relax because controlling one's emotions is hard work. It can be very straining. They sometimes don't realize how straining it can be. Especially Naruto; he was a tough case." Iruka said, laughing. "There has to be a balance… otherwise…" He paused.

"Otherwise...?" Kakashi asked in a calm and low voice, looking at the wall now.

"Well…otherwise… it can tear people apart. I've seen more than one shinobi having to quit after years of work because … well… because of that. Even those that…had been known to be exceptional."

For a moment Kakashi didn't say anything. Then he nodded.

"I see… I think you're right." He sat up. There lies potential danger there." Kakashi still looked serious as he took another sip of tea but not as serious as a moment ago.

"So, Iruka-sensei, what do you recommend? What's your way of relaxing after a hard days work?" Even the twinkle in Kakashi's eyes had now returned

"Me? Well, my job isn't as stressful as yours, after all. I'm just a teacher. We all do what we're good at and I think I'm not suited to succeed in battles and save the day. It's not what I really care about. I'd rather see my students achieve that. I want them to be as well-protected as they can be when we send them out there at such an early age. So many of them have already lost parents or siblings and, as if that wasn't cruel enough, we ask them to grow up even sooner by having them go on missions when they're barely thirteen. The least I can do is to prepare them the best I can. My job is easy really, compared to theirs. And yours." Iruka said and put his cup on the table, looking resolute.

"Easier, maybe, although I'm not even sure about that. Anyway, I think you should not underestimate your own importance, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi took the pot to pour some more tea into Iruka's cup on the table. Iruka nodded and reached forwards to hold it for Kakashi.

"You make it seem as if you had no share in their work, in our work as shinobi. It's always a team effort, no-one can make it on their own. That's what I'm telling Naruto and Sakura everyday. You, as their former teacher are a part of that team ever time they go on a mission.. If it wasn't for the teachers of the academy, us team leaders would have nothing to build upon, no way of teaching them all that they need to know to survive the mission. We're not flawless. I guess you know that. You are our backbone in all of that, so never underestimate yourself. It's really an important job you are doing."

Iruka said nothing, looked down at his hands, and smiled.

"What about you then, Kakashi-senpai?" Iruka asked, watching the elder curiously while taking a sip. "It seems almost impossible to imagine otherwise, but is your job fulfilling [

to you? Or do you sometimes wish you had taken another path in life?"

"Hm… that's an interesting question. I don't think anyone has ever asked me that before." He looked at Iruka, smiling and a little surprised. He pondered for a while.

"No, I guess I never really wished for another path. But there are things I regret and wish I had done differently." He shook his head. "But those are idle thoughts, since we cannot go back in time, can we? And even if we could, who'd guarantee that we didn't make things worse?" He laughed. "No, I think one part of growing up is learning that we cannot change the past but at least we can learn from it. If that's something I can teach Naruto and Sakura, even at their young age, then I guess I succeeded somewhat. I don't know if I would call this 'fulfillment', but it's something I feel good about." Kakashi paused" Hm, I never really thought about it and it's strange to say this about something that involves Naruto."

Both men laughed and Iruka nodded.

"Yes, I know what you mean," he said smiling before he took another sip of his tea.

While their conversation drifted off in a more general direction, and they talked about the outcomes of their last missions and how Naruto and Sakura had done in them, it was Kakashi who sat back and smiled after a while, watching Iruka who had just told a story about how Konohamaru, the Sandaime's (the Third Hokage's) grandson, had managed to copy another one of Naruto's old 'sexy no jutsu' techniques and transformed himself into Tsunade just seconds before she entered the classroom to ask for some team papers. Iruka shook his head and was laughing as he told the story, his voice pleasant and not dark and his laughter soft and unassuming. What had inspired their conversation to drift off, Kakashi didn't remember, but what he now noticed was how perfectly normal it felt, as if they often had had conversations like this one. Why had they not? They met on numerous occasions, often several times a day, yet Kakashi didn't remember simply sitting down to talk to Iruka for more than just a few words here and there. Was is because of him? Because of his attitude towards work, his ... hm, how had the younger one called it before... 'inability to let go'?

"Kakashi-senpai…?" Kakashi had not noticed that Iruka had finished his story and was now looking at him.

"Er... yes? Sorry, I was just..." Kakashi snapped out of whatever it was that had kept him thinking just now.

"How about dinner then?" Iruka said, brows knitted and with a light smile. "We've been working all afternoon. You must be feeling hungry, especially since you still have work later."

Kakashi looked like he was thinking about that, then he nodded.

"Yes, I guess you're right." He laughed."Maybe Naruto is still at Ichiraku's."

"Probably going though his eighth bowl of ramen now; boys that age seem to be always hungry, or maybe it's just him." Iruka said as he stood up. "Shall we?"

Kakashi nodded and stood up as well.

"Yes, let's go."

**Chapter 5**

The streets were filled with all sorts of people when Kakashi and Iruka made their way to Ichiraku Ramen which was seated in the western quarters of Konoha. There were the usual workers, people returning from the various marketplaces, people closing their stands as night was falling, or young and elder shinobi in groups, discussing their latest mission or the occurrences around the town. They even ran into Akimichi Chouji and Rock Lee who had joined Naruto at Ichiraku a while ago and told Iruka and Kakashi that he was still around, ordering seconds as they spoke.

As they made their way further down the main street and turning left at the old storage building, neither men talked much, rather, they simply walked alongside each other in contemplative silence, their feet making grinding noises on the sandy ground. The fresh nightly air was cold and smelled of autumn.

Unlike back in his apartment, Kakashi noticed that Umino Urika had become rather quiet again. It was mostly Kakashi who had done the conversing on their way but now he just enjoyed enjoyed the air of the approaching night and listening to the sounds of the busy village surrounding them.

Shortly before they reached the Ramen stand though, with its paper lanterns shining brightly at the end of the street, Kakashi noticed Iruka's footsteps getting slower and slower and then almost coming to a halt.

In the distance they could hear the sound of Naruto screaming and joking with the owner of the Ichiraku Ramen stand mixed with the noise of leaves being blown about by the wind in the tight alley that they were now passing through. Kakashi adjusted his steps. He was waiting for the younger one to speak. It seemed there was something he was meaning to say and Kakashi guessed it was something that Iruka had been meaning to say all the way down here since they had left the apartment.

"Yes?" he finally asked when the slow movements of their feet no longer grinded the path as before.

"I'm sorry...?", Iruka said, looking surprised, as if he had just been pulled out of a deep thought that he didn't even notice he was having.

"Hm... it seemed you wanted to say something." Kakashi finally stood still, a few meters away from the entrance of the shop.

"Ah" Iruka shook his head, more to himself than to Kakashi though. Kakashi noticed this with a sudden rush of affection towards the younger teacher who looked confused and a little tired now, unlike half an hour ago when he had been telling stories and laughing happily in the privacy of Kakashi's home.

"It's just..."

"Yes?" Kakashi prompted, watching the circling leaves on the ground.

"It's nothing. Just that I'm not sleeping well these days. I keep on having these..." he broke off.

"Dreams?" Kakashi looked at the younger one intently.

"Yes, dreams. I don't know why. I'venever had these dreams before... about the time the village was attacked and what happened back then. I don't know why I keep having them lately. I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you with this." He shook his head again.

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets.

"It's no bother at all, Iruka-sensei, don't worry." He said nothing more but kept looking at the younger teacher who seemed to be looking for the right words.

"I've never actually thought having dreams like these was a bad thing. I even tell my students that it's good if our dreams allow us to see past experiences again and come to terms with them" But it reaches a certain point where I'm unable to get back to sleep or even have trouble falling asleep in the first place. And I get the feeling that if this continues, I'll no longer be able to concentrate enough on my job, you know? I'm sorry, Kakashi-senpai, I really shouldn't bother you with this. I think I just need to see Tsunade and ask her for some medication. I'm sure that will help."

Iruka turned around to walk towards the entrance of the Ramen shop, but now it was Kakashi who stood still and didn't move.

He had taken his hands out of his pockets and was rubbing his fingers together in the nowcold evening air. The wind blew even more leaves in circles among their feet, their rustling sounds on the earth were the only distinct sound around.

Kakashi felt he wanted to say something. Even though Iruka had not mentioned it, Kakashi had already known about the death of Umino Iruka's parents and also the way in which they had been killed 14 years ago. It felt right for him to say something, some words of understanding or empathy, from one friend another. He didn't know whether Iruka considered him a friend but Kakashi thought he should. Maybe Kakashi wasn't always good at opening up towards others, but that didn't mean that he didn't care about anyone.

"I think you shouldn't worry too much, Iruka-sensei…it's probably temporary. Maybe you should see Tsunade about it. I'm sure she can help you. Or maybe even Sakura; that girl has picked up a lot from Tsunade." Kakashi put his hands back in his pockets.

Iruka didn't say anything. He looked at Kakashi.

"Err, yes… thank you very much. I guess you are right."

Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Well, then…"

He walked towards Iruka, then past him into the ramen stand. Iruka looked after him, with maybe a trace of surprise in his eyes. Then he let the curtains close behind them.

The rest of the evening passed rather quickly, at least it felt like that in hindsight. Iruka and Kakashi had dinner together inside the ramen stand, joining Naruto there who insisted on inviting them both, pointing at his green frog wallet that was almost bursting with the amount of coins stuffed in. Only a short while after they had finished eating, Iruka prepared to leave the trio as they made ready for their first night of guard duty."

"Be careful, both of you." he said to Sakura and Naruto who were checking their equipment before leaving for their designated location. I know you won't, but don't take this lightly. He looked up to Kakashi and their eyes met for a second.

"Ah, I know Iruka-sensei, don't worry!" Naruto blurted out." We'll be taking care ourselves and watching out for Kakashi- sensei as well, you know how slow he is."

"Naruto…"

" Just a joke, Kakashi-sensei. Hehe." he snickered, stowing kunai away in each of his jackets' pockets.

"I wish you'd concentrate more on this here,"Sakura said with a sigh as she stuffed yet another fallen kunai back into his backpack.

"Ah, Sakura, who needs those anyway? When I can use my Kage Bunshin and simply..."

"Yes, I know, Naruto. Explain that to me later, okay? Where's my headband?"

Kakashi turned around to check whether his pants pockets containing his kunai were adjusted correctly.

When he looked up again, Iruka had already left. He hadn't heard him say goodbye but since neither Sakura nor Naruto looked surprised and just kept on packing, Kakashi figured he must have and he simply hadn't heard it."

The night of their guard at the western wall of Konoha passed by without any suspicious incidents. One time, Naruto went out into the forest after they had heard something moving there, but he returned carrying only a small black cat that belonged to one of the families living close by and released it on the inside of town. Apart from that, everything stayed quiet.

By the time Kakashi arrived home, it was already dawning. He walked past the bakery next to his house which was still closed but he could hear the steady noise of the large oven which was being fired, and could even already smell the faint scent of warm bread in the air. The streets were still empty.

When he entered his apartment, unzipping his vest and closing the curtains to shut out the sunlight that was already crawling over the window panes, there was nothing in particular on Kakashi's mind. He undressed and after washing up, he climbed into bed, picked up one of his books, and turned on the light at the side of his pillow. It was his normal thing to do after a mission; even though he was often tired from the long and unusual hours, he wasn't always able to fall asleep immediately. If he did, his sleep was usually light and he awoke often, only to fall asleep again after some time. He guessed that it was another price one had to pay for a job such as this; irregular sleeping patterns and many nights with no sleep at all. When he immersed himself into his books though, they usually helped him calm down and gather his senses, and after some time, he always felt tired enough to sleep.

This morning was different though. Even though he picked up the story at an especially thrilling part at which he had left off the day before, it was hard for him to concentrate, since his mind kept wandering back to last night.

The sight of Umino Iruka in the alleyway in front of Ichiraku Ramen, looking all tough yet tired with maybe a little trace of despair, had burned itself deep into Kakashi's memory; so deep that after a while, he laid down his book by his bedside and just stared at the ceiling, thinking.

He remembered very well the night the Nine-Tails had attacked the village fourteen years ago. Already a chuunin at that time, Kakashi, even though he was still just a boy himself back then, had joined other ninjas to fight against the huge fox-demon that wreaked havoc on the village. He had only seen the Nine-Tails from afar but had been overwhelmed with fear at the mere sight of it as he carried out his duties of leading those minors, who had run onto the streets in panic without their parents, into safe quarters and protecting them. The streets were filled with people running around helplessly, houses were burning, and in the distance they could hear the roar of the huge demon fox that scorched everything that got in his way with thick red flame. Kakashi the boy was virtually shaking but, of course he would not let anyone see. Kakashi the shinobi would not fail one of his first big missions; and so he kept on going and managed to get at least twenty children out of the village on his own.

Like everyone, Kakashi knew the story of how Umino Iruka's parents had died that night. Both of them were Genin, raking lower than Kakashi, so he hadn't known them personally, but the news of their deaths spread quickly amongst all the shinobi ranks. People were saddened by the fact that they had left a son behind, a young boy who had just turned thirteen and had now become an orphan. The "Umino boy" they called him and some people on the corridors named him by his full name, Umino Iruka.

Kakashi, as the elder student, had never talked to the younger boy before, nor did he remember what he looked or whether he had ever noticed him before. But talk of the boy, whose parents had been killed and who was now living by himself, naturally spread through the whole Academy. When the thin, brown-haired boy returned to school, people would turn around in the corridors to watch him, often whispering to each other; and in no time, everybody knew the boy who was now the last one remaining in the Umino family.

Even though Kakashi remembered his arrogant attitude of looking down on people not being able to control their emotions, he remembered being surprised by how soon the boy had returned to classes that year, looking determined not to be pitied.

There was one incident from those days that Kakashi had never forgotten. It happened a few weeks, maybe months after the Nine-Tails' attack on the village had passed. About to take his jounin exams, Kakashi had entered the academy one hot summer's morning, visiting the library to get some books before classes started. Obito had waited for him in front of the Academy. Kakashi was leaving the library and entering the huge and darkly lit hallway that led to where the sun was shining brightly outside when he heard the sound of fast and strong footsteps on the stony tiles approaching. He turned around.

Umino Iruka was walking towards him, face glowing and sweat glistening on his forehead, walking by him without even noticing he was there.

It seemed he had been training for his jounin exams for hours before classes started and was so focussed that he didn't even realize he was not alone.

As Iruka walked further down the hall, Kakashi turned around and watched the younger boy with a strange feeling rising up inside him that he couldn't really explain. Umino Iruka, the last of the Umino family… just like he was the last of the Hatake clan. For a moment while he watched the younger boy disappear past the huge wooden doors that led to the stairway, he felt as if they were one ; as if he had seen himself through the eyes of a stranger.

While that boy lived in the lower, suburban parts of the village with his low-raking shinobi parents, he himself still lived in his family's old home with a few maids who cared for the pricy possessions of the formerly renowned Hatake clan … did it really make a difference?

Both were the same now; absolutely the same.

Kakashi stood there for a while, thinking, before he turned around and left the building to meet Obito, who stood in front of the gates waiting for him.

Now, fourteen years later, Kakashi was certain that Iruka didn't remember this early encounter they had had back then, before they both started working for the village; one as teacher and the other as both teacher and member of the ANBU and before they started running into the other more frequently. Why should Iruka remember? Kakashi thought while taking a look outside his window where the sun was already high in the sky. He didn't even notice their encounter back then.

Kakashi realized that he himself had never forgotten about it. He also realized another thing: even though Umino Iruka had been training so hard back then to become a jounin, he had never actually taken his exams. Now that he thought about it, Kakashi had never known why.

His gaze wandered over to his table where he and Iruka sat last night while workingon the team's schedules. The tea cups they had used were still standing there, next to the teapot and some stacks of papers. The sight of the cups, one to each side of the teapot, complementing each other, made Kakashi shift from his pillow to stare at them. With the teacups still in sight, Kakashi shut the light next to his bedside and waited for sleep to come.

**Chapter 6**

A few days later, Umino Iruka was standing in his classroom, packing his things, with his back towards the door, after a particularly difficult teaching session.

There had been more deaths around town the night before, and the body of the father of a young girl in Iruka's class was among those who had been found. The girl, Momoko, was obviously staying at home with her family, but her empty seat had been the center of attention all morning. While Iruka tried to explain the difficulties of a good bunshin no jutsu he found himself staring at the empty place repeatedly, like everyone else in the classroom. In the end he let his students leave five minutes earlier than usual and used the time alone to put his thought in order.

It seemed that whatever was out there in the forests, lingering around the village, was now confirmed to be a more dangerous threat than most of the shinobi had expected, including himself. There hadn't been that many deaths in and around the village since Orochimaru had attacked it with his huge three-headed snake two years ago during the chuunin exams. But Orochimaru was known to be in hiding and had not been seen for ages. It was unlikely that he was behind the latest incidents. After all his intention at that time had been to get the Uchiha boy, Sasuke, and unfortunately he eventually succeeded. So he would not have any other business with Konoha at the moment, as far as Kakashi and some other of the higher ranked ninja were concerned.

That meeting in Tsunade's office where, they had excluded Orochimaru as the cause of the recent deaths two days ago, was the only time Iruka had seen Kakashi during the latest fewdays after they had spent that evening together and although they greeted each other politely, they didn't have a chance to talk. In fact, Iruka had wanted to suggest to Kakashi-senpai that it might have been a good idea to form smaller teams and have them rotate more often to secure the best possible protection for the village, but realized after the meeting was over, after talking to another one of the jounin, that Kakashi had already issued that same order.

Iruka noticed that a lot of the higher ranked shinobi were continually debating these days, in the hallways and corridors, what would be the best strategy to use against the unknown enemy. Amidst all this, Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, was nowhere to be seen. Iruka knew that it was an idle feeling and certainly out of place, but watching the higher ranked shinobi taking over control while he himself carried schoolbooks for chakra and jutsu from one classroom to the next, he felt left out.

Tsunade had ordered him and Kakashi to work together on this, but it seemed that Kakashi-senpai thought it was best to decide what to do on his own, without consulting him about it. It wasn't so much that Iruka was surprised by this; Kakashi-senpai was known to work on his own and, after all, he was the the one standing in for Tsunade when she was out of town and would therefore have the right to change her orders when he saw it was necessary. Yet Iruka remembered his and Kakashi-senpai's conversation vividly.

"Don't underestimate your importance, you are the backbone …". Had all of this just been said to flatter him? If so, he rather wished that it hadn't been said at all, since he didn't appreciate such things being said out of mere politeness.

Iruka's cheeks were glowing when he finished packing his bag to leave the classroom. He heard a noise behind him as someone entered through the door.

"There you are. I've been looking for you during the lunch break."

He turned around to find Sarutobi Asuma standing beside the half-open door, lighting up a cigarette.

"You should know that smoking inside the academy is not allowed."

"Of course I know, Iruka, but what will you do about it? Give me detention?" Asuma laughed and put the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. "So, what's the matter then? Why haven't you come for lunch? You seem a little…"

"It's nothing," Iruka said and closed the zippers of his bag. "I just wasn't hungry."

"Okay…" Asuma's face showed he understood that this wasn't the best moment to ask for any particular reason why. "So… are you hungry now?" He smiled, blowing out a huge cloud of blue smoke.

Iruka looked at him for a while. Initially, all he had wanted to do was pack his stuff and go home, but watching his old childhood friend standing there and there grinning at him underneath a "No Smoking" sign made him forget his bad mood for a second. He laughed.

"Sure, why not."

He clutched his bag and followed Asuma's trail of smoke out the door.

Inside the yakiniku restaurant, they sat down at a table near the back entrance and ordered some snacks to begin with. It didn't take long for Asuma to convince Iruka to tell him what was on his mind.

"I see…"Asuma said, blowing out some more smoke whilst roasting a piece of meat on the grill in the middle of the table. He sat back.

"So that is what's bothering you. He's very busy at the moment since Tsunade is not here. He hasn't even talked to me almost all week and we usually have regular meetings amongst the Jounin teachers. There's not even time for that anymore, especially after what happened yesterday." He took the piece of meat from the grill and ate it, looking thoughtful as he chewed.

Iruka leant back in his seat. He really felt like an idiot now.. What on earth had made him behave like a spoilt child deprived of attention all day today? He shook his head and took a sip from his drink.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed that Asuma was again grinning at him.

"What?"

"It's not like you to get worked up over something like that. I wonder what's behind it." Asuma smiled slyly.

"There's nothing behind it. It's just… ah, forget it. Let's eat." The roast meat tasted good as always, yet Iruka wasn't really paying attention to the food. He was much more focused shifting the conversation to another topic since he'd already had enough of the current one.

"No, really. What's that with you and Kakashi anyway?"Asuma lit another cigarette and waved to order some more food.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that your behaving all funny when he's around; you seem as if you had to prove yourself or something. You know how highly everyone thinks of you, including Tsunade. Ranks don't really matter; you yourself even teach that to your kids. Everyone knows that it's often simply a good portion of luck that decides whether someone passes the chuunin or jounin exams, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what a person is capable of."

He shook his head.

"You probably knowmore basic ninjutsu than any of the jounin out there, and no-one has any doubt about the fact that if you decided to take the jounin exams you would pass in a matter of minutes. It's your decision not to take them, and that's okay, but when it comes to Kakashi, it seems as though you expect him to look down on you, so whatever you do, you try twice as hard. Maybe you don't even notice it yourself. ut you should realize that he doesn't look down on you, nor does anyone else. Right now he's overloaded with work and doing things alone that's just his way of doing things. It doesn't mean he doesn't respect you. Everyone knows what an excellent ninja he is, himself included, but he really isn't as stuck up as you make it seem at times."

The waiter came to their table and put a fresh plate with slices of meat and vegetables in front of them. Both Asuma and Iruka stared at the plate is if it had the answer to whatever question they were debating about.

Iruka sighed.

"I never said he was arrogant. Or stuck up. Or all the other things you put in my mouth. It's just that at times I find it hard to work with him, that's all. Especially when we're supposed to work together; because we don't."

Asuma's grinned, chewing on a piece of cabbage.

"Hahaha, that's only normal when two alpha males get together. You two are more alike than you think. Maybe you just need to take a step back and look at yourself; maybe you will see."

"Alpha males, huh?" Iruka chuckled. "What about you, you're not an alpha male then?"

"Are you kidding me? Just look at me." Asuma placed a hand on his belly, fondly stroking it. "I'm much too lazy to be an alpha male. Give me a place in one of the rows somewhere behind the heroes and I'm happy."

Both laughed and started loading their plates with more food. Asuma was joking of course. He was one hell of a good fighter, but since he had had some changes in his private life, he had gained a few pounds somewhere around his waistline.

"How's Kurenai doing then?" Iruka asked, taking a sip from his drink.

"She's fine. A little moody maybe. Makes me do all the things she always wanted me to do now, like fixing the sink and stuff; and if I don't jump at her command, she'd be mad at me for at least three days…But I guess, with the hormones and stuff, that's normal. When the baby is born, I'll go back to being the man in the house. If she lets me, that is." He laughed.

Iruka smiled. Watching Asuma eating and laughing and talking about Kurenai with a hint of pride in his voice was something he really enjoyed seeing. Asuma had never been what one would call "unhappy", and since the time he and Kurenai had fallen in love and were now becoming a family to be, he looked happier than ever, or maybe simply content, a feeling that Iruka, if he was honest, envied a little. But since it was Asuma, the feelings of happiness and pride for his old friend outweighed the envy he felt.

"I think I must come over to your place sometime and help out a little. Stuck with you, I'd be lost if I were Kurenai." Iruka grinned.

"Oi, watch it, will ya? But you're right; you must come and visit us sometime. You never come over these days and Kurenai always scolds me for not bringing you along. I think she's in love with you."

"Oh, shut up."

"No, you shut up. It's true. She gets all soft and nice when she talks about you. She never looks that way when she talks about me. Bastard, stealing away my wife like that." He grinned.

"She's not even your wife yet." Iruka laughed.

"Right, but she will be. You just wait and see." Asuma leant back looked around the restaurant. It was about 7 pm now and more and more people kept coming in. It was the busiest time of the day. He smiled and lit another cigarette.

"My friend, it seems we still have to find someone for you. How can I marry and leave you alone to be a bachelor that way? You need someone to take care of you. No, wait. I think you need someone for you to take care of; when you no longer have to take care of me, that is."

"Ah." Iruka was chewing on a piece of meat and looked at the entrance where a group of people had just entered, filling the room with chatter and laughter.

"Hm… I don't know, Asuma. I can't see myself falling in love, getting married and all that. And what kind of woman do you think would actually take me? I can't think of one. I'm just too boring, I guess."

"Well, more women than you'd think. It's you that's simply not interested enough, let's face it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Iruka asked, emptying his glass and pouring himself some more sake.

"Nothing…"Asuma said and again he was smiling slyly. "Just that… hm, I guess your priorities lie elsewhere."

"You mean my work?" Iruka didn't understand what Asuma was talking about but the expression on his friend's face told him that he had way too much fun being secretive.

"Yeah, whatever…"Asuma said and nodded. "Whatever makes you happy…"

Iruka was just about to tell his old friend to stop the silly jokes when they heard noises coming from outside. It sounded like an uproar or something similar. It was a while before people slowly stopped their conversations and turned their heads towards the doors.

And then a loud yell could be heard that made even the last person inside the yakiniku restaurant fall silent and look at each other in alarm.

Asuma looked up, then got to his feet.

"Let's go."

"Yes."


	3. Chapter 7 to 8

**Chapter 7**

Outside, the street was in turmoil. A group of maybe thirty to forty people had gathered around a certain spot but neither Asuma nor Iruka could see the cause of the commotion as they moved closer. Some other shinobi had arrived there first and were already trying to maintain order in the chaotic scene.  
It was raining slightly and had already gotten dark. There was the noise of people crying and sobbing mingling with the sound of the falling rain that had set in earlier. Iruka felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he was getting closer.  
He noticed Kakashi and Maito Gai, debating with other jounin while he and Asuma were approaching the spot. They were now able to see what had caused people to turn away and gasp for air after they saw what was lying there.  
In the midst of the crowd, on the ground, laid the body of a woman. She was dressed in dark blue and green, the typical shinobi uniform of Konoha, yet her headband showing the Leaf symbol had fallen from her forehead and now covered her eyes. She was dead.  
There was a large wound on her chest that looked as if it had been caused by a knife. It had bled heavily. She couldn't have been dead for longer than half an hour.  
"I'll be right back."  
Asuma turned around and walked towards Kakashi and Gai. Soon the three of them were engaged in conversation, exchanging information about what had happened.  
Iruka stepped closer and had a look at the dead woman's face. He was relieved to find she wasn't someone he knew. Not that it made her death any less tragic. But at least the nauseating feeling that had overcome him for a moment, when he thought the dead woman looked familiar, was leaving him again. He just felt shocked now; and disgusted. From her appearance, she couldn't have been older than maybe twenty-five. She was probably someone from another village who had come to Konoha to join its shinobi ranks, but that didn't make her death any less tragic either.  
"Iruka-sensei! Will you come over for a second?" he heard a voice and turned around. It was Kakashi, who had stepped aside to talk to him.  
Kakashi was standing underneath a big tree, its branches swaying violently in the wind as Iruka stepped closer. There was a slight thunder in the distance and it felt like there would be heavier rain to come. The breezes gusty wind colder air than even just minutes ago. The elder shinobi looked serious, Iruka noticed. Of course he did, why wouldn't he? Still, in a strange way Iruka felt a sense of contentment in him upon seeing Kakashi again, amidst all the confusion and chaos surrounding them.  
Kakashi was obviously concentrating very hard, so Iruka didn't address him immediately as he walked over to him. When he got closer, he could hear Kakashi talking to himself, but the only words that were not drowned out by the wind were "... doesn't make any sense at all..."  
"Ah, Iruka-sensei!"  
Iruka nodded.  
"I'm sorry... I hope I'm not interrupting you on your way home…"  
"Of course not, go ahead."  
Kakashi looked over at the woman, who had now been covered with a cloth, waiting for medical shinobi to take her away.  
"There are hints that the person or persons who did this came out of the restaurant that you've just been in. At least we have some witnesses suggesting so, saying they had seen unfamiliar faces there just half an hour ago. Asuma doesn't remember anything particularly unusual but since you were there as well I wanted to ask you too, maybe you saw something."  
His face showed the usual sternness that was always present when he was working, and his voice sounded strict and tense. Yet there was a trace of something that didn't go unnoticed by Iruka; a certain familiarity seeping through, maybe it was due to the fact that Kakashi addressed Sarutobi Asuma with his first name, like only few people would, including Iruka.  
He tried to remember the scene inside the restaurant. There had been a few people around who he didn't know, but that wasn't too conspicuous. He did, however, remember something that had struck him as odd when it happened.  
"There was this group, of maybe three or four people. They came in with a bunch of others, a larger group, and I thought they belonged together, but it seemed a little strange, now that I think about it, that they didn't talk to each other. I may have just presumed they belonged together because they entered the restaurant at the same time."  
Kakashi didn't reply immediately; it seemed like he was organising the information in his head. After a moment, he nodded.  
"Yes, Yes, that's what has been said by other witnesses as well, so it seems to actually be true. Did you notice anything else about them inside the restaurant?"  
"No. " Iruka shook his head. "I didn't really watch what they were doing afterwards. I'm sorry."  
"It seems," Kakashi said, and again turned his gaze at the dead woman's body, "that they only stayed in the restaurant for a short time. Why? we don't know and it doesn't make sense because it attracts unnecessary attention to go in there in the first place. We can only guess that either they needed to get off the streets for some reason or they might have wanted to attract attention to themselves. Maybe they wanted to meet someone in the restaurant or were looking for someone there, someone who either knew they were coming, or not. And of course," he looked at the far end of the street, "no sign of them. They disappeared. "  
"That's bad. Any news on how they got inside the village? There are guards everywhere, how would they even be able to enter?"  
"Another thing we don't know. We've searched almost everywhere. There's no way they could have entered without anyone helping them and that is probably the worst news of all since that means we have someone in our own ranks going against us. "  
Iruka looked at Kakashi and nodded.  
"Yes... it seems so."  
The wind had calmed down again in the last few minutes. It seemed that whatever had brought the sadness had come and gone with the cold air and rain. Medical ninja were now arriving at the scene and beginning to load the dead woman's body on a stretcher. The crowd that had gathered was now slowly dispersing, onlookers returned to their houses or walked down either direction of the road, debating what had happened in hushed voices as they left.  
"We've sent several people to the Hokage Headquarters to give evidence on what they have seen tonight. If you have a little time now, I could accompany you and take your testimony. I'm sure it won't take long." Kakashi said. There was something in his gaze that Iruka couldn't quite classify as he said that, but either way, he knew what he wanted to do.  
"Yes, of course. I don't have anything to do and if I can help, I'll gladly do so."  
"Okay."  
Kakashi passed by Iruka and went towards Maito Gai and Asuma who were still standing and talking next to the site where the body had been lying.  
After a brief explanation of where they would be heading, Gai nodded.  
"We must find whoever is doing this and hold them responsible. Maito Gai won't accept failure in this one, that's for sure. "  
"I'll be heading home after asking a few more of the residents who we haven't covered yet. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Asuma said to Iruka. He took another cigarette out of his chest pocket only to put it back again since he was still smoking one; a bad habit that always emerged when he felt pressured, and tonight, no one was able to escape the feeling of pressure from the latest incident.  
"Sure. And send my regards to Kurenai. I promise I'll visit soon, tell her that."  
They nodded and Kakashi and Iruka left the street eastward, onto the main street, then turning south in direction of the Hokage Headquarters.

---

It was maybe half past eight by now, still early in the night; but since news of the murder had spread quickly, the streets were almost empty, as people had rushed home to be with their families, in the safety of their houses.  
The silence surrounding them felt a little eerie, but Iruka couldn't think of anything to say. It seemed Kakashi was still in his own thoughts and he didn't want to interrupt his concentration. They walked alongside each other for a while before Kakashi first cleared his throat and then spoke, as they turned right and entered the next street.  
"So... how's your sleep then? Gotten any better?"  
He didn't look at Iruka, who was looking at his own feet, wondering whether that was a genuine question or only small talk to bridge the tension that seemed to be hanging in the air. No, there isn't any tension, he thought. It was just Kakashi-senpai's way: he didn't talk much, that much Iruka knew, but when he did, he was honest about it, especially since the current situation wasn't a topic that could be spoken of lightly in casual small talk. So he answered. And strangely enough, under such circumstances, it didn't feel weird at all to be talking about it.  
"No. I wish it had, though."  
"Ah." Kakashi nodded and it seemed he was thinking about something for a moment. Then he looked over to the younger one.  
"Iruka-sensei, I think I have to apologize to you for my behaviour recently. Izumiya told me you have been looking for me to talk about the teams and I wasn't really available during the last few days. It must seem to you as if I didn't appreciate our collaboration but that's certainly not the case."  
This came unexpectedly and much to Iruka's surprise, he felt as if something was clenching his stomach when Kakashi finished his sentence.  
"Er, ... well, no. Please don't worry about that, Kakashi-senpai; you must do what you think is best, and if I can help with anything, that's good. But honestly, this shouldn't be the priority here. It can't be a priority, and if I convey that feeling, then I'm very sorry, it's not my intention."  
Kakashi laughed, more to himself than anything else, but it was audible enough for Iruka to hear.  
"Iruka-sensei, would you please, for once, accept my apology without making one yourself? It's not like I do this everyday, but when I do it, I really mean it. I can only consider myself rude since I think my behaviour must appear that way."  
"No, Kakashi-senpai, certainly not rude. Doing your job to the best of your abilities has nothing to do with being rude.  
"Well, I don't know." Kakashi said and put his hands back into his pocket. "I think I still have things to learn when it comes to that. I don't think I'm the easiest person to get along with, either personally or work-related. But I promise to better myself." He smiled at Iruka and then turned around again.  
They were getting closer to their destination now, the Hokage Headquarters was already in sight, its windows illuminated. Iruka didn't know what to say, so he resolved to say nothing. Still, there was something in him that he felt was burning to get out now. What had clenched his guts before had now wandered up and manifested itself as a heartbeat that seemed a little faster than usual and a lump in his throat that he wasn't able to swallow down.  
The man next to him didn't seem to notice. Kakashi looked suave and relaxed as ever and the expression in his eyes didn't indicate that he realized Iruka was looking at him now through the corner of his eyes. Yet Iruka couldn't help feeling that ever since he had seen Kakashi again earlier, standing together with Maito Gai in front of the restaurant, he had wanted to talk to him they way they did just now, the way they had done days ago when they went to Ichiraku Ramen together. There was something in Kakashi's presence, when they were alone together, that seemed to have the strangest effect on Iruka and he couldn't really name what it was; he only knew he felt it rising up even more inside him now. The feeling of wanting to get closer to that man that he barely knew; to get to know him better, to hear his relaxed and soft voice, away from the crowd, talking to him.  
The lump in Iruka's throat wandered down his chest in a rush and made him bend over. He stopped-  
"Urgh... "  
He grabbed his stomach. All of a sudden it had come over him and he felt like throwing up.  
They were already at the front gates of the Headquarters now and Iruka bent forwards, huffing.  
Kakashi turned around.  
_Possibly the shock, I'm simply not used to this, dead bodies and all that. Pull yourself together!  
I will not throw up... I will definitely not throw up. _  
"Are you okay? Iruka-sensei … ?" Kakashi sounded concerned, yet he didn't approach Iruka. He only stretched out a hand.  
"I'm okay ... don't worry." He rose and felt the feeling of sickness still there but no longer as strong as the moment before.  
"It's probably just the ..." He made a gesture with his hand and Kakashi nodded, hands in his sides, looking a little worried while watching the younger man.  
Iruka walked up the stairs to headquarters ahead of Kakashi. "Just a little sick...it's nothing. Will be over soon."  
"...Okay… good." Kakashi said, still sounding concerned. He followed Iruka up the stairs.

In the distance there was the sound of thunder rolling over the mountains. It would no longer rain tonight, but something was in the air; the notion of more rain to come, and colder weather coming with it. To the side of the Hokage Headquarters there was a noise in the bushes; a rustling, then a shadow, close to the place where Kakashi and Iruka had just been standing. With a few short steps, the shadow disappeared behind the building, towards the mountains and soon after, everything turned quiet.

**Chapter 8**

Up in the Hokage Headquarters, the hallways sparsely lit, Kakashi and Iruka passed by some bureaus in which shinobi and members of ANBU were taking witnesses' accounts on what they had seen earlier. Those few shinobi who were on standby were busy walking the floors from one office to the next.

Kakashi made his way steadily to one office on the third floor. Iruka followed him through the hallways and took a look inside the busy offices while they were passing by. As much as he questioned at times whether his decision to become a teacher instead of joining the administrative had really been the right decision after all (and he certainly had his reasons for that), he didn't envy those who were in charge these days, faced with such difficulties and with nowhere to start.

They entered a small office at the end of the hallway. Kakashi lit the lights and closed the door behind them. Iruka sat down at a long table and looked around. He hadn't been inside here for ages, last time he remembered was during the chuunin exams more than two years ago when he helped to prepare the schedules, together with some other teachers of the academy. Usually he would be called to Tsunade's office or the great conference room, but that was all. Kakashi went towards a drawer and opened the third one from the top. He got out some papers and laid them on the table, looking for a particular form.

Whatever had come over him outside, Iruka still felt it working inside of him. He noticed his hands and how they felt a little sweaty and his head hurt but he was determined to not let Kakashi notice. _I've already embarrassed myself enough_, he thought and clenched his fists underneath the table.

Kakashi obviously had found the right form because he was now pulling out the folder and laid it on the table in front of them.

"Well, it's been a while since I left ANBU so I'll have to read off from it, I'm afraid." He laughed and looked at Iruka.

"Are you sure you're okay? You do look a little pale. "

"I'm okay, Kakashi-sensei, let's just start. I'll be fine."

During the testimony, Kakashi took notes and, after around twenty minutes, he put the finishing stamp showing the Konoha Leaf underneath his signature.

"It feels funny doing that." he said, again laughing and shaking his head, "I'm not exactly an office person, never was. I'd be lost if I had to do this for a living."

Iruka smiled.

During the testimony, he had calmed down again. It was probably due to Kakashi's presence; he had done most of the talking and that had given Iruka the chance to relax and simply breathe through. Kakashi's understatedness and calmness had managed to soothe whatever had been working inside of him to an acceptable level. Kakashi was still writing when Iruka watched the elder's hands holding the pencil. _Cautious hands_, he thought to himself, out of the blue, _hands that could kill and hands that could comfort just the same…_

"Okay," Kakashi looked at his watch, "it's late enough, and I don't want to keep you any longer." He stood up. "I think I should be going home as well, it's been a long day for me too." He sighed.

For the first time tonight, by the light of the lamps above them, Iruka noticed the shadows underneath Kakashi's eyes and it made him feel bad that he always seemed to think only of himself. Kakashi bore a tough burden, being in charge and responsible for so many people, and he was only one single person too, not almighty, not superior, just a man who, like him, needed a rest now, after a hard day's work.

"Kakashi-senpai..." Iruka stood up in front of Kakashi.

"Hm? " The elder looked at him, rubbing his uncovered eye.

"Come on. " Iruka nodded towards the door. "I'll get you home"

On their way to Kakashi's house, which was seated in the eastern quarters of the inner village, not too far away from the Hokage Headquarters, neither of them said a word. Night had fallen now and temperatures had dropped but they weren't walking particularly fast even though it was chilly.

In front of his house, Kakashi stopped and turned around rather sudden and Iruka, who had been in his own thoughts and hadn't noticed they had already arrived, bumped into the elder.

Just this second Kakashi had wanted to say something, Iruka realized, but was now trying to maintain his balance and not trip. Out of a reflex, he grabbed Iruka's arm while stumbling forward.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kakashi-sen---," Iruka stopped. He felt Kakashi grip his lower arm and the touch felt warm and distinctively different from the cold air surrounding them. And it seemed as if Kakashi felt the same way, since Iruka now saw the elder looking at him, surprised and only slowly loosening his grip one finger at a time.

Iruka could see Kakashi's breath condensing in the nightly air, right in front of his face and again there was something clenching his guts now, wandering up and forming a lump in his throat, so heavy that for a moment he thought he could not breathe. It virtually choked him up inside.

Kakashi removed his hand from Iruka's arm and where warmth had been, cold now set in. Kakashi's chest was heaving up and down, slower and slower, and then after a few moments of nothingness, Iruka heard the elder murmuring in a stifled voice, beneath his mask.

"... This... means nothing... "

The hair on Iruka's neck stood up. He swallowed but his throat felt too hard, as if he was trying to swallow wood. He nodded.

"Y-Yes... I know. Of course. "

As if agreed upon, Iruka made a step backwards and so did Kakashi. For a moment both seemed hesitant to move, however vaguely and in whichever direction, but then it was Kakashi who put his hands in his pockets and looked down on the ground, turning around towards his door.

"... Good night. "

"Y-Yes... good night... "

Iruka watched the elder shinobi, unable to move. Only after the door of the two storey-house closed behind him and Kakashi had vanished out of sight, did Iruka start to move again.

He set one foot in front of the other and slowly left for the main street. On his way home, he tried to make sense of what had just happened, but it was in vain. Every time he tried to think about it, his mind went blank and his hands started to shake so he focussed on his walk and tried to eliminate every other thought from his mind. When he arrived in front of his house and reached for his keys only ten minutes later, the walk up his stairs felt like the hardest climb he had ever taken, before he finally reached his apartment and disappeared behind the doors.

At the same time at the other end of the inner village, Kakashi was walking up and down the corridor inside his apartment, unable to sit down and fumbling as he took off his clothes.

He had removed his vest already and thrown it on the floor, his gloves had followed but still he was feeling hot. He was working on his mask now and finally had gotten it off when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and stopped to look closely.

He looked horrible. His face was sweaty and pale, except for an unnatural flush around his cheeks; his eyes looked hollow, and the more he was aware of his condition, the worse it became. He felt ... there was no other way to describe it ... he felt weak. And whatever had caused this weakness, it had something to do with what had happened outside just a few minutes before.

When Iruka-sensei had bumped into him so harmlessly and he had felt the younger one's skin underneath his hand, seen the expression in his eyes that looked surprised yet also re-assuring, and had his face so close to his own that he even could smell the younger one's breath, smell that he had drunken sake earlier that night... something had torn open inside of Kakashi, at least it had felt that way. And as soon as he had realized this, his body had started fighting against it, almost as if he was remote-controlled. The shinobi in him had suddenly emerged, emotionless and cold to the bones and had defended his place... only until he reached the safety of his home though. Here his façade suddenly started to crumble mercilessly and all he wanted to do right now was get out of his clothes, take a long, hot shower and go to bed; burying himself deep in his sheets and stop whatever was haunting him right now.

He undressed on his way to the bathroom at the end of the hallway, and inside, he simply dropped his clothes on the floor, turned on the taps and jumped under the hot water stream that engulfed his whole body in an instant. The sensation that the hot water left on his skin was burning, yet soothing at the same time, and he turned it even hotter since he wanted to wash away everything that was on his mind now; burn it out of his body...

Yet, no matter how hard he tried... the thought he had had outside, and that he didn't allow to reach the upside of his consciousness, would simply not go away... and even though the hot water was biting into his flesh now, he was barely able to suppress it.

So finally Kakashi resolved to do something that he hadn't done in a long time, but which felt like the only way of getting rid of the pressure inside him right now, of easing his mind.

His hand wandered to the lower part of his body, and underneath the water stream Kakashi touched himself, until he found release.

When he was done, he felt tired, almost too tired to move, but at least no longer restless. He dried himself and crossed his hallway naked, not bothering with putting on any clothes. He went to bed immediately, naked as he was, and even though his heart still seemed to beat rapidly, he fell asleep almost at once.


	4. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The next morning when Iruka left his apartment, talk of what happened the night before had already spread throughout the whole of Konoha. The market stands he passed by on his way to the Academy were full of people debating over what they had heard of the murder and only half of the stories bore any kind of resemblance to what had really happened as far as he could tell.  
But that's how it was: people liked to make things up and add their own sensational little details to what they told. As if the murder in itself hadn't been gruesome enough.  
That was only part of the things that were on his mind this morning. The night before, after he returned to his apartment, he had tried to make sense of what had happened between him and Kakashi in front of Kakashi's house.  
He had prepared himself a last cup of tea and had looked out his window whilst drinking it. Then he went to bed and had stared at the inside of his drawn curtains for the longest time but hadn't been able to make any sense of it.

_This means nothing…_

What on earth did he mean by that... and why on earth had Iruka's heart beat so rapidly when Kakashi said that... why had it hurt?  
This...means everything in the world, if it mattered enough for Kakashi-senpai to lose his cool over it, doesn't it?  
But did he really? Iruka had noticed the change in Kakashi's facial expression during their encounter and it had looked like the face of experienced fighters before they went into battle. The face that doesn't show emotion because it doesn't know any, because it has shut off all emotion, to some far away place somewhere in the person's body, out of reach until the battle is over.  
What in the world had caused this reaction? Over and over again, Iruka played the moment they ran into each other back and forth in his mind, as he crossed the main street and entered the shortcut between two houses that would take him to the Academy.  
_I really enjoyed his company_, Iruka thought. From that moment on, since the time he had left that restaurant, he had felt comforted in the elder's presence, aside from the horrible events they had witnessed. And the strange thing was... Kakashi seemed to have enjoyed his presence just the same. Iruka didn't even know why he was so sure of that but he just knew. Maybe it was his laughter when he apologized, or the way he seemed to care when Iruka had almost been sick... or even the way he let him see his tired self in the office; when Kakashi suddenly lost the extraordinary air that was sometimes surrounding him.  
All that seemed to have vanished the moment they touched, even if it had only been for a few seconds. The teacher in him knew that it was because of their training that shinobi would react that way at times; they were trained to act cool and collected under any circumstance, and never reveal their surprise. But Iruka the person, his private self, guessed that this was only part of the truth in this case, and that the 'real' truth lied somewhere else; somewhere deeper and perhaps too dangerous to touch. Still... some things might need to be touched in order to heal...  
And wasn't he, himself, the one who knew best about such things?

As Iruka rounded the last corner of a little shop that sold iron, towards the large gates of the Academy, he could see several teachers and jounin shinobi standing in front of the big building, obviously discussing something, and some other teachers were standing offside and talking amongst each other. Without even forcing it, he found himself looking out for Kakashi, but he was not present. Asuma was there though, talking to Ebisu, and neither of them looked particularly happy.  
"What's going on?" Iruka asked, stepping closer.  
"They're closing the Academy. For now, so don't look at me like that. Just until we can assure that everyone will be safe coming here."  
"What do you mean, for now. How long is now?"  
Asuma made a hissing sound and shrugged.  
"We don't know. That's exactly it. But for the moment it doesn't feel safe to have our kids and teachers run around the Academy unprotected. We can't protect them, even with the Academy's own teams, because everyone is out at the moment. And even though no-one doubts how skillful all the teachers are, you can't possible guard and protect all the children running around the grounds under these conditions. I think it was the right decision after all."  
That last remark was exactly what Iruka had waited for. He had only wanted that confirmation before he asked.

"...Whose decision?"  
Asuma looked up surprised.  
"Kakashi's. By the way, he should have already told you yesterday, you two went home together, didn't you?"  
_Yeah, he should have, indeed he should have told me that._ Iruka felt anger rush through his body.  
"No, he didn't tell me. When was it decided?"  
Asuma looked a little wary. The conversation had obviously taken a different turn than one he had expected.  
"Um... in front of the restaurant, following the murder. It was simply the best decision and it was good that he made it so early and... and..." Asuma answered, looking a little apologetic.  
The rush of anger that he had felt just seconds ago was slowly, slowly dying down.  
Now all that Iruka felt was a cold sensation around his stomach. It made him calm down but he was not exactly sure that it was in a good way.  
"Where is he?"  
Asuma's look was rather concerned now.  
"Iruka, what do you mean to do?"  
"Nothing, absolutely nothing. I just want to know where he is."  
Asuma shook his head.  
"Half an hour ago he was inside Tsunade's office, looking over some papers. But I don't know whether he's still there..."  
"Okay. Thanks."  
Iruka turned around and went towards the path that led back to the main street.  
"Iruka! Iruka! Don't be like that..." he heard Asuma yell after him but he didn't turn around. He was headed straight for the Hokage Headquarters.

He found the hallways and offices even busier and more crowded than the night before. People were running around looking concerned and no-one noticed the young teacher who reached the first floor in a few steps and, without knocking, stormed right into Tsunade's office.

It was empty.

But there were some papers on the desk, spread out for reading, and a cup of coffee, its steam still visible in the cold morning air. He must have been here just a short while ago. That much was clear.

Without even thinking about it, Iruka knew where he would find Kakashi. There was something inside of him that told him, even though he didn't know what it was. And usually these feelings, conscious or not, never betrayed him. So he turned around and left Tsunade's office instantly. As he walked down the hallway, his steps grew slower and slower, his mind wandered off until the people in the hallway merely were shadows in the corners of his eyes.  
To find confirmation for the thought that now formed in his head, though vaguely, what happened yesterday returned to his mind once again.

_This means nothing…_

He had thought about this sentence until he fell asleep last night and it was the first thing that came back to his mind in the morning. Something felt absolutely wrong about it but he simply couldn't tell what it was.

_This meant everything in the world if it was enough for Kakashi-senpai to loose his cool over it…._

_That was it, _Iruka thought. _That must have been it. Oh my god, how could I have been so blind?_  
He had never ever seen Kakashi-senpai loose his cool before, not the way he did when their eyes met during their encounter in front of Kakashi's house.

Iruka wasn't quite sure what he himself had felt back then... but it all started to make sense now. Asuma was right. He had always acted funny in front of Kakashi-senpai, simply because he had always admired him, admired the way he seemed so flawless, cool and relaxed in every situation.

_The perfect shinobi... how could someone like that not be admired?..._

But… there was more to it than that. More than he had ever admitted to anyone else... and more than he had ever even admitted to himself. Iruka's heart started beating faster now as he approached the next flight of stairs that would take him to the third floor.

He indeed felt drawn to Kakashi-senpai, in a strange way, since Kakashi-senpai was the only one to stir such conflicting emotions inside of him. He managed to upset him in so many ways, yet he also managed to calm him down, his silent ways when he was not Hatake Kakashi, the shinobi, but Hatake Kakashi, the man. No-one else evoked such strange feelings inside of Iruka... and so many feeling there were.

_Could it be that...?_

He shook his head. That simply couldn't be true. His steps got closer to the stairs that led to the next floor but Iruka didn't even notice as his feet seemed to be moving on their own.

The last days had been strange in so many ways. He had witnessed the _other_ Kakashi, the one who was so different to the one he had always admired, the one who scratched the back of his head when thinking about something, the one who cursed when he burned his fingers, the one who looked awkward and buried his hands in his pockets when he felt he was supposed to have private conversations that he didn't feel comfortable about... and the one who looked tired after a day full of work that he was shouldering all alone, even though he wasn't even supposed to do that. Iruka knew he had grown very fond of that side of Kakashi in those private moments they had shared, even though it weren't even that many… yet they had been distinctively changing what he felt about Kakashi before.

He and Kakashi had simply gotten to know each other better, and their work relationship was turning into a ... friendship? At least that's what it had felt like to Iruka, as of yesterday. But then came that encounter in front of Kakashi's door…

_This means nothing._  
_This means everything in the world if it is enough for Kakashi to loose his cool over it._

Kakashi had lost his cool exactly the moment they touched. And then he had virtually turned to stone. As Iruka reached the top of the stairs on the third floor and walked down the hallway, all that seemed to make sense suddenly.

_Those forbidden thoughts..._

There was an idea which became prevalent in Iruka's mind and it started filling him with a strange kind of excitement that he was barely able to suppress. It consisted of partly fear, partly nervousness and partly, deep down inside... such a strange thing as hope.

Those thoughts that Iruka kept having for as long as he could remember, since he was a child, were things which came and went like sand with the tides. They had never been steady thoughts, and at times they wouldn't appear for ages, while other times, they kept coming every day. As they were unspeakable, unthinkable in his situation, he had never allowed them to materialize, as he was almost certain he was the only one having them.  
Not the only one in Konoha of course, there were people who lived like this, some openly… but he was the only one among his circle of acquaintances, friends or other shinobi. To his knowledge there was no-one amongst them who was… like this. He was sure that these thoughts were not... complete, they were missing essential details to the picture... but they were telling; telling of something that Iruka was hiding deep inside and determined to never let out.

_Forbidden thoughts._

He had always felt isolated, having these thoughts. But… something had started; started to work inside of him and it worked especially when he was around Kakashi… and in those sleepless nights that he spent at home thinking, it crawled up to the surface.

_The mirror... both of you are much more alike than you think._

He hadn't thought much about Asuma's words yesterday in the restaurant. But now they rang in his ears. Yes, it had felt that way lately... that both of them were much more alike than Iruka had previously thought and he had felt a strange comfort in that. That was probably one reason why he felt that calm in Kakashi's presence recently, even in situations when they weren't talking but simply... there, alongside each other. For the first time since his parents had died, Iruka had felt sort of peaceful, being with another person.

When Kakashi's warm hand had touched him and he felt his tight grip on his arm, Iruka instantly knew he wanted more of that. In whatever way, whatever form.  
Simply … more. Those feelings certainly surpassed those for a brother or for a friend … and when he realized this now, standing in front of the door of the little office on the third floor, his heart beat so fast and loud that it was almost the only thing he was able to hear.

_A forbidden thought…_

Yet one that, if everything he knew was true now, might not be such a lonesome thought after all.

The third floor was quieter than the previous day, since no testimonies were being taken, and only a few people could be heard in the other rooms. Apart from Iruka, the hallway was empty.

He knocked once but didn't wait for a reply and opened the door.

There was silence inside the room. Kakashi was there, sitting at the same place he had sat yesterday, papers and forms spread out in front of him, but he wasn't even looking at them, rather, staring at an invisible spot on the wall opposite to him.

Iruka closed the door behind him slowly. He meant to say something, after all, his reason for being there was talk about the closing of the Academy. But now, with everything that's been going on in his mind, he found it hard to concentrate, and seeing Kakashi looking so unlike how he had expected to find him just put him off his stride. So he simply stood there, saying nothing, trying to control his heartbeat that was way out of line.

Kakashi looked up, and when he saw Iruka, there was absolutely no surprise on his face. When their eyes met, he watched Iruka for a moment and then simply nodded. He broke his gaze, looking so lonely that Iruka was almost unable to control the urge to go over to him and hold him.

Kakashi, the perfect shinobi, soon found his form again as he realized Iruka was not talking. His voice was not harsh, rather the contrary, and he seemed absolutely calm when he started to speak.

"What can I do for you…?"

He picked up the pen in front of him but just tapped it on the table, not writing anything.

Iruka took a long, deep breath before he spoke.

"It's about the Academy."

"What about it…?"

Kakashi sounded indifferent but one look at him told Iruka that he wasn't. Yet what did he expect from a professional like him? There was no way he'd be letting go so easily.

"I want to know your reasons for closing it down. And… while we're at it, I want to know why you didn't tell me yesterday. Why am I the last of all people to know?"

He sounded angry, and hell yes, he was. The question was certainly justified. Why, of all people, was he the last to know? There was no reason why he should be, and if he was, something else was behind it, and it was time for him to find out.

Kakashi noticed Iruka's anger and nodded again, as if he understood his emotion. Yet it took him a while before he started speaking again, in a very calm voice.

"I am very sorry I have not told you. I should have told you yesterday and indeed I had intended to do so, but…"

Of course. Iruka remembered now. Kakashi had wanted to say something to him when they arrived in front of Kakashi's house, but then…something else had happened. So why didn't he do it afterwards, instead of keeping his silence and leaving him standing outside on his own?

"What else?" he asked.

Kakashi looked up, a little surprised by this question.

"You mean why…" He stopped there.

"Hell yes, I mean why…." Iruka's voice sounded determined. He would not let him off the hook now. He'd better tell him the truth.

Kakashi sighed.

"… First of all, let me tell you that I don't think that you and the other teachers are incapable of handling dangerous situations like this by your selves. That is certainly not what this is about. It's just that I think it's better to be alert in the current situation. I can't and don't want to put people in unnecessary danger, not the other teachers… not the children… not you."

Was that what this was all about? Iruka certainly knew that Kakashi was not someone who would base decisions that concerned his job on his own emotions but might it be that he himself had at least contributed to that, as he was someone that Kakashi… obviously cared for?

"I don't need your protection." he said, after he digested what the elder had told him just now.  
Kakashi loosened his headband and laid it on the table. He then grabbed the edge of his mask and pulled it over his head, laying it next to the headband. It seemed as if he wanted to get rid of everything that hindered him speaking.

"I know you don't. But my position allows me to take… certain measures. And that was one of the measures I decided to take." He watched Iruka and his uncovered sharingan eye looked at him blank before he closed it again. Blank, yet honest. Kakashi, the perfect shinobi, was finally opening up.  
Iruka understood every little bit of what Kakashi was saying. But he still needed to know more.

"What happened yesterday? Why did you leave?"

Kakashi looked at him. It seemed he was thinking, not what to say, but how to phrase it.

Iruka slowly went over to the table. He had started to think he wouldn't like what Kakashi was about to say, so much he could tell by looking at the elder who was now shaking his head.

Iruka sat on the edge of the table, his hands by his side, and the place where he rested his left palm was not too far away from Kakashi's, still holding the pen. Kakashi did not look up at him when he continued speaking.

"You should know… that certain things… have crossed my mind."

_Kakashi, the perfect shinobi, is finally opening up…_

"I'm not stupid. And I'm certainly not a child anymore." Kakashi went on.

"But I have never allowed … things like that to happen. And I don't intend to do so in the future."

Iruka looked up at a spot on the wall, somewhere behind Kakashi. He perfectly understood what the elder was talking about as he had felt the same way, just minutes ago. Yet, having heard it from Kakashi now, the words he had expected, dreaded but also hoped for, something inside of Iruka rebelled against the consequence of it.

Iruka looked at his own hand, next to Kakashi's. Their hands were so close now that they were almost touching. And Kakashi did not pull his away.

"So this," Iruka said, still watching both of their hands lying next to each other, "means _nothing_, huh? ..."

Kakashi shook his head. It seemed as though it was increasingly hard for him to speak. Iruka knew why. For someone like himself, who had always feared these kinds of emotions, it was tough enough to speak of them. For Kakashi who, on top of that was a perfectionist to the bone, it must feel even more difficult.

"Iruka." It was the first time Kakashi addressed him with his first name only and noticing this, Iruka felt a rush of excitement throughout his whole body, bittersweet though, as he knew that this was not all there was to come.

Kakashi's hand moved and took Iruka's. He held it to his chest and pressed it against the spot where his heart was. Kakashi's heart was beating fast and hard, much to Iruka's surprise, as the elder's face didn't look troubled at all.  
Kakashi looked Iruka in the eyes now and he was dead serious.

"In my world, _this_…" and again he pressed Iruka's hand against his chest so that he could feel his heartbeat even clearer, "means nothing. That's the way it is. And always has been."

Iruka understood.  
He didn't even know why, but he understood.  
There was a feeling of utter, utter sadness rising up inside him immediately, upon how close they were just now, and how distant they would be moments from now, because of what Kakashi had told him.

Like so often recently, and always around Kakashi, he felt that clenching feeling in his guts once again. Even tears began to rise up, but he shut them away immediately. He would not allow them to emerge; this was not the time, nor the place, to feel sorry for himself.

"I see…" he said, after a long moment of silence. He pulled his hand away from Kakashi's chest and the elder didn't resist.

Iruka knew this was the end. There was no way anyone could argue with what Kakashi had just told him; it was perfectly reasonable. To not let these emotions get the better of them, and leave what could not be with nowhere left to go from there. It was the right thing to do… the only thing to do. But… before he was willing to let go, there was something he just had to confirm. There was simply no way around it. Too long had he waited for this moment to let it pass now.

He stood up and sat down on a stool next to Kakashi who turned and looked over at him. The sight of Kakashi's headband and mask lying next to the elder's hands touched Iruka immensely, so immensely it almost hurt now.

_Naked… _he thought. _So that's what you look like when you're naked._

_I see…_

Kakashi didn't resist, albeit looked hesitant at first, when Iruka laid a hand on his cheek, feeling the warmth of the elder's face beneath his fingers.

He knew it. It felt too good. Too good to be true after all.

Iruka shook his head, just a little, and then he leant over.

When he touched Kakashi's lips with his own, he could feel the elder drawing back, though it was barely noticeable, and certainly not enough to be counted as resistance.

They kissed.

While they kissed, Iruka felt the last hint of hesitation in Kakashi melting away for the moment, as he found the elder responding to his kiss just the way he had expected him to respond: cautiously, carefully, but also eagerly. His own feelings upon finding this were far from victorious, as he knew that this moment was all there could be. And all there would be. It was the end, after all.

He placed his other hand to Kakashi's other cheek, holding him tight, unable or unwilling to let go because he knew that as soon as this moment was over, there would be nothing left; and as he felt Kakashi's tongue even more eagerly caressing his and heard Kakashi's hard breathing, a loud bang at the door made them both jump and pull apart in an instant. It was followed by someone yelling.  
Flustered, they both looked at the door.  
"Kakashi!" It was Izumiya.  
"Kakashi, are you in there?"  
Kakashi looked around and then he shouted "Yes, I am."  
Izumiya opened the door and entered.  
Before he spoke, he looked over at Iruka, who had stepped back a little. Izumiya was obviously surprised to find the young teacher present, but then seemed to decide that it was nothing that mattered right now as he quickly addressed.  
"You have to come outside. We may have caught one of them."


	5. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

There was a commotion in the hallways when Kakashi stormed out the door, with Izumiya and Iruka close behind him.  
Actually, he didn't know whether Iruka followed until he threw a look back over his shoulder and saw him.

Things were happening way too fast now. While hurrying down the stairs, accompanied by shinobi opening the doors to the hallways and leaving their offices see what was happening, and amongst the noise of people loudly exchanging the news, Kakashi could still taste their kiss on his lips.  
His pulse was going crazy and, with all the force he could muster, he tried to shut that feeling down, disconnect from it and concentrate on the necessary. He found himself clenching his fists so hard that his nails almost cut into his flesh. Upon reaching the first floor, he finally managed to forget what had happened. His pulse was decisively lower now and all that mattered in his mind was to get to Tsunade's office to find out what had happened.  
When he entered and others after him, there were maybe four or five jounin already in the room, among them Ebisu and Maito Gai, all grouped around a chair on which a person was sitting, tied to it.

Kakashi immediately noticed that the man fitted the descriptions witnesses had given yesterday of those people who had entered and left the restaurant, shortly before the attack on the woman happened.  
The man had orange-red hair and a fresh slash across his left cheek, possibly from a fight he had. Still, the look in his eyes was rather defiant, as he obviously refused to speak. A quick exchange of information with the surrounding jounin told Kakashi that the man had been caught trying to leave town through the western portal just an hour ago, and had awoken suspicion because of his fresh wound. When guards were trying to get hold of him, he made an attempt to escape but was caught outside of town only a short while later. Up till now, he had refused to cooperate, staying silent and not answering any questions that were asked of him.

Kakashi looked at the man, then with one quick movement of his hand, he commanded the office door to be shut.

Iruka, who had entered the office last, closed it behind him, not without feeling a little reverent for a moment at the powerful aura that surrounded Kakashi now, unlike just minutes ago when he was almost melting in his hands. At least it seemed that way. But now he was back to being the Kakashi he almost always was: focussed, in control, leading the pack.

Iruka turned around and positioned himself in a far corner of the room, not wanting to disrupt. A little, just a little, he felt a sense of sorrow rising in him, at how fast Kakashi had turned to normal in such a short time, while his own face still felt like it was flushed all over. And Izumiya's curious gaze towards him, which he noticed from across the room, was not helping any in his current situation. His heart was still beating rapidly at the unexpected feeling of kissing the other and Kakashi responding to him the way he did. He didn't know what would have happened, had Izumiya not intervened. Would Kakashi actually have pushed him away, after the initial surprise was over… or would he have let him kiss him even more, realizing that both were forming a bond that was not to be cut again?...

He heard a loud bang; Kakashi actually hit the top of Tsunade's desk in anger, a rare display of emotion from the elder shinobi. Iruka shook the lingering thoughts away from his mind and turned his attention back to what was happening inside the room.

Kakashi was angered by the fact that he was told the man had carried a large knife with him, but before the knife could be obtained, he had managed to throw it into a huge pond, the one next to blacksmith Takayata's house.  
Before it could be retrieved, the pond's water would have cleansed it of any traces of evidence that could have been found, making it probably unusable as evidence now, even if it turned out to be the murder weapon.  
They needed to make the man talk, that much was clear, but by the smirk he wore on his face, Kakashi figured they had already tried that and failed.  
Kakashi turned around to one of the jounin, an ANBU member whom Iruka knew as Sato, a specialist for mind techniques as far as he knew.

"So you've already tried genjutsu on him?"  
The man nodded.  
"Yes, several ones. So far he has been resistant to all of them."

He leaned over to Kakashi and whispers into his ear, in a low voice, so that the man tied to the chair wouldn't hear.

"We suspect he's been under the influence of something though… there are plants, if taken and turned into potions, might make people immune to any kind of illusionary techniques. Only highly skilled medical ninjas are able to prepare those though, which could mean that he's not alone, since he's not a medical ninja as far as we can tell. We need another medical ninja to produce an antidote, and that may be a long and tricky process, but I'm afraid otherwise we won't be able to get anything out of him."

Kakashi listened to the news, stern facedly.  
It took a while before he nodded hesitantly to what Sato said, obviously noting that he was right.  
He shot a look at the person on the chair then turned to him.

"I will tell you this one thing: we will find out about you. We will find out who is with you."

His low and commanding voice sent shivers down the spines of most people present in the room.

He crouched down and looked at the suspect in the eyes.

"And we will bring you to justice. There's no way you will escape this, your just punishment."

The man just looked at Kakashi with indifference before his gaze went blank and he turned, continuing to look out the window.  
Kakashi did not take his eyes off of the man who was obviously not willing to talk to them, instead, his stare intensified and his uncovered sharingan eye coldly focussed on the other man, before he started to speak again.

"Who are you?"

Kakashi's voice was just a whisper now and there was a low and fierce sound to it that made everyone in the room turn their eyes toward him and stop in their conversations.

Soon enough everyone in the room was silent, and that silence was so intense one could have heard a pin drop on the wooden floor.

"I asked who you are." Kakashi's voice sounded so different to the Kakashi everybody was used to that even Maito Gai exchanged frowning looks, obviously surprised at the change that had befallen Kakashi. Iruka watched the scene, drawn back into his corner, and for some reason, he now wished that he had not come along with the others.  
It was simply unsettling to see Kakashi this way, but with the door locked, there was no choice now but to stay.

The man on the chair made no move. Only after a few seconds had passed, he turned his back head slightly and looked Kakashi again in the eyes. Then he snorted, laughing, before he fell silent and turned his gaze towards the window again.  
Some people in the room gasped ant looked to Kakashi for a response.

For a while, he said nothing.  
Then he stood up, turning to gaze towards the window, his back to everyone else.

"Take him away. Put him in one of the cells in the basement. I want two chuunin shinobi watching his cell at all times, as well as some guards positioned around headquarters."

There were approving noises from the attending shinobi and two guards were already grabbing the captive's arms to take him away.  
The other jounin, noticing that Kakashi obviously wanted to be alone now and might be thinking up a strategy of how to deal with this latest incident, readied themselves to leave the office after the guards.  
Iruka was waiting at the door to leave with the others, behind Gai and Ebisu, when Kakashi's voice cut like a knife through the silence now lingering between them.

"Iruka…"

Iruka stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly.

"Please… close the door." Kakashi's voice turned softer now but still the elder shinobi did not turn around to face him.  
Iruka did as he was told and closed the door. There was a moment of silence. They could hear some birds chirping outside and the sound of a wind rustling through the leaves of trees.  
Not knowing if he was supposed to step closer, Iruka just stood there and stared at Kakashi's back.  
Kakashi turned around and his facial expression showed he was tired, just like the night before, but there was also a determination in his gaze that Iruka could not deny.

"I want you to go home and stay there until tomorrow. I will order a curfew for the day and have ANBU search the entire village tonight. There'll be no exception from that rule. Do you understand that?"

A wave of embarrassment floated through Iruka as he felt the almost reprimanding tone in Kakashi's voice.  
He shifted, then spoke, an almost incredulous look on his face.

"Why?" His voice was equally reprimanding, but for a different reason. He simply could not understand and there was that plea in his voice that Kakashi should simply tell him what was on his mind, instead of just… ignoring what had happened between them only moments before.  
But it was no use. Nothing could sway Kakashi from his resolve. Iruka knew that.

So after a while, he just turned around to the door of the office, silence having set in between them once again.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry that you think that way." Iruka opened the door.  
"I will follow your order" He paused, lingering there, just for a second. "Good bye."

He closed the door behind him and for a while, Kakashi did not make a move.  
When he finally did, he turned around; his expression had hardened, but it took him a few more minutes before he could finally leave the Hokage's office to implement those orders that he had already given out.

End of Chap 10, more to follow soon


	6. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

There was an air of silence, palpable like a fine cloth draped over a window to keep out the sun, over the village of Konoha for the rest of the day.

Most of the people who were moving around on the streets and sidewalks would appear to walk a bit faster than usual, talk in hushed voices if they ran into their neighbours and would immediately close the doors, maybe even shut the blinds of their windows once they returned to their homes.

The feel of danger nearing, or maybe already having arrived, somewhere in their midst, was eerie, so eerie that even birds seemed to sing less than usual, and cats and dogs lay silent on doorsteps, just watching and licking their fur, instead of running around in the neighbourhood.

Iruka arrived home, his face still flushed with anger, worry, probably disappointment, and made his way up to his apartment, his mind constantly replaying the incidents of the day, up to that kiss, and then even further.

With nowhere to go and nothing left to do, he threw himself on the bed and was staring at the ceiling, until a restless, uncomforting sleep finally got hold of him and he drifted off, fully clothed, his hands clenching the bedding underneath him.

*~*~*

When he woke up a few hours later, it was sudden. He just opened his eyes, finding himself at home, the room around him in twilight, and he took a few breaths before he finally reached over and turned on the light on the bedside table, taking a look at the clock on the wall in the process.

It was past seven and outside it was just now getting dark. Which meant curfew. _Curfew…_

He ran a hand through his hair, loosening it and putting his hairband on the bedside table.

Maybe… maybe… it hadn't hurt as much if Kakashi hadn't ordered him to stay at home, like everyone else, every little school child in the village, but instead just asked him to do so.

Iruka laid on his back, imagining it, but quickly dismissing the thought, since it was clear that it was a vain thought. He could not expect Kakashi to treat him any different than anyone else in the village at this point, he was the one in charge, the one being responsible, the one being dependant upon his orders being carried out immediately, without any argument…

He could not expect Kakashi to sway from that, just for his sake, could he… then why, why… did it still hurt so much?

He rolled over to his side, his gaze turned at the far wall.

_He's not like he used to be. He looked so different when we kissed… he has changed, for god's sake._

That kiss… to think of it in that moment made his insides boil and he writhed, feeling that pulling in his loins, something stirring, and he clenched the bedding even more, not wanting to react to that thought, not wanting to feel this way on his own. He had waited for so long for something like this to happen, so he knew he wanted to feel this way only with the one who caused it… Kakashi… and to make him feel the same. Only feeling it on one's own was useless.

There was a loud bang outside his apartment suddenly, cutting through the silence.

Then a knock at the door followed, not a particularly loud one, but distinct enough to make Iruka sit straight up and gaze at the door.

For a moment or two, there was no sound… but then came another knock, not particularly louder than the ones before, but clearly audible.

The curfew practically on now… so who could that be? For a moment there, he was convinced it could only be Naruto, probably sneaking out to look for trouble. But just an instant later, he knew that idea was wrong. The Naruto he knew now had grown and probably was on duty with some other Shinobi anyway, patrolling the village, responsible for their safety.

He got up and walked over to the door, passing the dark hallway, his steps cautious as he approached his front door.

"Who's there?!"

He stood beside the door, one hand reaching over for one of the kunai on the hallway dresser.

For a moment he heard nothing in response to that, but then, almost when he wanted to yell out again, there was the noise of someone speaking up, subdued maybe, yet with a clear voice.

"It's me… Kakashi. Open the door…" and then adding, his voice lower " … please."

Iruka felt the hair in his neck stand up, this… Kakashi having been the last person he had expected. He frowned, thinking for a moment.

"Okay… wait".

He laid down the kunai on the hallway dresser. For some reason his eyes met the mirror above the dresser and he caught a look of himself. And even for him, the expression on his face was clear. He hadn't expected this to happen, yes, but his heart had almost leaped up to his throat the moment he had heard Kakashi's voice. He had not forgotten what happened this afternoon, not at all.

Iruka opened the door, brows furrowed, but there was simply no denying that his heartbeat was going faster than usual, and there was a consistent lump in his throat. And he could even still feel what had tantalized him just moments before… that pulling in his loins, and maybe even more so now that only a doorway separated him from the man that made him feel this way.

He saw nothing at first. No, that wasn't true. He could make out a shadow, a familiar stature in the twilight outside of his apartment, but only when his eyes adapted to the dark outside and Kakashi finally looked up to meet his eyes did he really see him… and also something else in the elder's face that made him startle. Not so much because of what had happened in Tsunade's office, but simply because he thought that Kakashi, once alone, would certainly reconsider, would find that whatever had happened between them wouldn't be anything he could give in to, would just return to his usual self and not let anyone break that shell around him that the elder shinobi had cultivated to perfection.

Kakashi now just looked at Iruka, his mask slightly pulled down, both his sharingan and his normal eye focussing on the younger man, looking stern, yet not worried, not doubtful, not cold. He looked thoughtful maybe, but not confused.

Then, after what seemed like a long silence between them, he sighed, pulling down the mask completely so that it rested around his neck, and looked up at Iruka again, a wary shadow of an uncertain smile on his face.

"I'm sorry… about today." Kakashi shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to… sound the way I sounded, I guess."

His expression showed no sign of what was going on inside of him at those words, but eventually Iruka stepped aside, not saying a word, letting Kakashi enter the dark hallway behind him.

They walked in silence, over to the small living room that separated the hallway from Iruka's bedroom. He turned on a lamp on a table and the room was drenched in a soft light.

Iruka leaned against the desk, crossing his arms, gazing at Kakashi, allowing the elder shinobi to get his bearings, but eventually waited for an explanation… and despite his calm appearance, his heart was still beating loudly, but for once, he was determined not to let Kakashi know. He had given away enough today already. It was on Kakashi to explain himself now.

Kakashi looked around before his gaze settled on Iruka. It was only now that he realized he had never seen the younger teacher's home. Sure, he had at times fetched Iruka when they were scheduled to go on a mission together, initiated by Tsunade, or had accompanied him back home after that. But he had never been inside the younger man's home, and he shifted slightly, from one foot to the other, as if the realization now made him a little uncomfortable. And Iruka's piercing gaze, unexpectedly cold, did not help any.

Kakashi cleared his throat.

"We… ah… have searched the village today, including the academy. Some searches are still going on. So far we have found nothing. Nothing in particular." He arched his brows, then met Iruka's eyes.

"I still think the curfew was the best solution to retain order in the village though… and let ANBU do their job. I know it may have seemed strict… but I still stand by my decision."

Iruka's gaze was just locked on Kakashi now, his facial expression not changing much during the elder's speech. Then finally, he shifted, looking stern.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. I know what you did was best for the village. I'm not arrogant enough to…" He looked at the ceiling, looking for the right expression "think I should be treated any other way than anyone else in this village. I know what you did was right. It's just…."

He hesitated and his gaze now showed a lot of the frustration that he had felt all day after coming back home, and maybe a bit of the hurt too, for Kakashi to see and feel.

"I was just hoping that…." he sighed and pushed back a strand of his hair behind his ear, his hair still loosely hanging around his head, like he had worn it before he went to sleep "… maybe I thought after..." his eyes widened "what happened, you wouldn't just leave me out of everything, you know."

He shook his head.

"Maybe it was a silly thought. Just forget about it." His eyes wandered up to meet Kakashi's again, noting the discomfort in the older man's eyes upon his words, feeling he clearly had hit a nerve now.

"So, is this all you came here for tonight?" Iruka paused, his eyes narrowing, his mouth starting to feel a little dry. "Just to apologize?"

He shifted, averting his eyes.

"Well, if it's for that, apology accepted. You can go."

He sounded every bit as hurt now as he had felt earlier, not wanting to hide it anymore.

Kakashi looked back at him, the expression on Iruka's face not failing to touch him immensely. In truth, he didn't even know why he had come here tonight, after taking a leave from the Hokage's headquarters, instead of going home and just getting some rest. It was just this expression that he had seen before his inner eye all afternoon long, expecting to see it when he met the younger man again, and maybe the failed effort of repressing that image was what made him come here now, after all.

That… and of course something else. Something that he couldn't admit to himself as of yet and that only just dawned on him now, watching Iruka like this, and what it did to him, deep down inside.

He took a long deep breath. Then his low voice filled the room, sounding decided.

"No. It's not all I came here for." He paused. "It isn't."

With a few striding steps, he approached Iruka by the desk, the young man looking up to him in the process. Then, stopping before him, he lowered his head and then, finally, raised his hands and slid them around the younger teacher's waist.

"It's not all." His last sentence was merely a husky mumble now, his forehead resting against Iruka's, his demeanour only slowly changing, to that of a man searching for something in the other, but most of all in himself.

Then, he looked up and his lips searched the younger man's, brushing against them, tentatively, trembling, but the touch itself sending a soft jolt down his spine. He opened his mouth, uniting with Iruka, and the answer to why he had come here, Kakashi knew now, laid somewhere in there, this kiss they were starting to share now.

Iruka said nothing in return. When Kakashi approached him, his anger did not dissipate, but it was temporarily pushed aside by other emotion.

After all that had happened today, this had come so unexpected. He thought that Kakashi, as soon as he would have had a chance to think about it, would never accept what had been happening between them; what Iruka felt for a long time already now, what may have been between them all along.

But now the elder shinobi had taken him by surprise by coming here, his mask lowered in every way. And the touch of his lips was more than Iruka had hoped to taste ever again, after they had parted ways this afternoon.

When their kiss broke, neither of them made a move to walk away. The clock on the wall made soft ticking noises, and next to their muffled breathing, it was the only other sound in the room. Kakashi's hands were holding onto the desk, to each side of Iruka's body, and he lowered his head, resting his forehead against Iruka's again, their bodies a dormant mass of former turmoil, resting against one another.

"Now, will you regret this…? Will you regret that you came here? When you leave?" Iruka's voice was low when he spoke, Kakashi's taste still on his lips.

He looked up at the older shinobi, their eyes meeting and he almost expected a cold stare from him, like the night before when they parted ways in front of his house; the perfect shinobi back in place…

But he was surprised to find nothing of that sort in Kakashi's gaze now. If anything, the older shinobi just looked calm… maybe even complacent.

"I don't know. " Kakashi smiled. His voice was low, yet steady; it had a quality to it which reminded Iruka… reminded him of that time they met a few days ago, in front of the Hokage Headquarters, that morning when they had met by accident, on the stairs to Tsunade's office.

He remembered Kakashi sitting up in that tree reading, a subtle presence, having more felt than seen him… just like now.

Iruka could tell Kakashi wasn't playing with him. He was so earnest, even through his hesitation to promise him anything, that Iruka knew this was not a game; it was one of the traits so genuinely Kakashi.

"I see." He took one of Kakashi's hands into his, fingers intertwining, and just held it for a moment. Then, with a last absent look at the clock at the wall that told him again it was only early evening, Iruka turned off the light in the living room and pulled Kakashi along with him, both of them making their way towards the small light of the candle flickering in Iruka's bedroom.

They didn't bother to close the door, but it fell close behind them nonetheless. When Iruka slid his arms around Kakashi, the elder shinobi responded by seeking his mouth for yet another kiss, his arms finding their way around the younger teacher's waist and their lips united wantonly.

In the dim light of the candle burning in a glass jar on the headboard of Iruka's bed, there wasn't much hesitation to be felt anymore. It had melted away with the sound of Kakashi moaning when Iruka pulled down his mask again, the cloth threatening to get in the way, and both joined in a tight embrace, neither of them willing to hold back.

When his lips parted from Kakashi's yet again, the younger teacher tugging on the zipper of Kakashi's vest, Iruka's voice was filled need, husky, yet warm.

"Let me have you." He pulled down Kakashi's jacket, planting hot kisses on the older man's neck.

For all the time they'd been apart, all their lives to be exact, it almost seemed now as if Iruka was ready to make up for it with his touches and kisses. He didn't even care anymore whether Kakashi would show any kind of resistance. If there still was resistance in him, he shouldn't have come here, Iruka thought. But he did. Indeed he did.

Kakashi watched breathlessly as his vest was pulled down by the younger teacher. On any other day, maybe even a few weeks before, his sense of self preservation would have kicked in; telling him he couldn't do this… like it had told him on many, many other occasions.

But tonight, something was different. He had come here of his own free will, knowing perfectly well what this visit would lead to. Walking though the descending darkness, all the way to Iruka's place, he hadn't fooled himself. He was inexperienced when it came to this, yes… but he was certainly not stupid.

And now, despite the slight tremble in his voice upon Iruka sliding a hand underneath his shirt, pulling it up and stroking the skin underneath as both fell back on the bed for an hour between the hours, he was simply not hiding anymore.

Hands searched for Iruka's head and found it, the younger man's lips still caressing his neck, Kakashi's hands gliding though Iruka's light-brown hair.

"I…. I have never done this before." Kakashi's breath came in spurts as his hands almost unconsciously tugged on Iruka's shirt now, before the teacher pulled it up over his head himself, baring his chest and doing the same to Kakashi.

The way Kakashi laid there, spread underneath him, his cheeks flushed and eyes filled with need... there was no doubt in Iruka's mind anymore what he felt about the older man.

_I love you… can't you see that I do?... Kakashi?_

And Iruka's reply to Kakashi's assertion was simple and plain,

"I know." And he nodded. There was no need to say more.

His mouth searched for Kakashi's again and from now on, no words were spoken between them.

Their bodies entwined while Iruka slowly undressed the older man, both lying side by side on the bed, their eyes locked, Kakashi's hands loosely resting on Iruka's waist, just letting it happen.

Soon he was rid of his vest and shirt completely, and while Iruka started planting warm and promising kisses on his neck again, he started to whisper, burying his nose in thick white hair.

"Undress me… Kakashi…" Warm lips tickled the sensitive skin there and Kakashi gasped, his hands now finally moving to Iruka's front, slightly shaky fingers opening the buttons and zipper as Iruka did the same.

The first time their bodies joined, Iruka pressing his loins against Kakashi's, Kakashi drew in a sharp breath, looking almost perplexed, but that deep kiss Iruka then planted on his lips silenced him for good. And even more so when one of Iruka's hands found its way down to Kakashi's middle, to comfort the older man's now aching flesh.

Kakashi, unable to disobey, complied when Iruka took a hand in his other and pulled it down, encouraging the older man to do the same to him.

Soon the room was filled with their warm pants and breathy moans, both men now unclad, their legs entwined, their hands exploring and giving, their mouths locked together with desirous kisses.

In the moment that had them parting from one another for a while, both panting, their eyes locked feverishly, Iruka finally rolled onto his back and pulled Kakashi with him, his knees bending to either side of his body, holding Kakashi's body to him.

He cupped Kakashi's face and Kakashi's cheeks flushed with desire. It made Iruka smile, his voice warm, if not compelling

"Come to me… now. I want to feel you…" And another kiss, planted to the older man's lips, his hands finding that white tousled hair again showed Kakashi that Iruka was ready.

Kakashi looked at him, breathless, but then hesitated only shortly, entering now what his fingers had first thoroughly explored.

When their bodies became one, they held each other and their mouths locked yet again, from then on only ever parting again from exclamations of desire and passion.

They made love, slow at first, but their desire was steadily increasing, until both of them were no longer able to speak, only moan against the other's lips, with eyes closed, their bodies finding their own rhythm and both men just complying to it.

On the height of his desire, Kakashi's face showing he couldn't hold out any longer, Iruka arched his back, encouraging the older man to enter him even deeper, for those last thrusting moves.

…

When pleasure finally washed over them, Iruka just held Kakashi in silence, and breathed and relished the moment. Kakashi relaxed and laid down, covering Iruka with his body while, in return, Iruka's arms encircled him.

He laid there, unmoving, for a long time, then Iruka finally rolled to the side. Kakashi's eyes were closed and the younger teacher reached over to stroke one of his brows, wanting the older man to open them up and look at him and finally he complied.

"Gosh, I've wanted to do this with you… for so long." He laughed and stroked Kakashi's cheek. His hand moved up further to slide through thick white hair, and his eyes were warm, filled with emotion, no longer held back.

Kakashi smiled and averted his eyes. He slid his arms around Iruka, and then nodded, this being his wordless reply and Iruka smiled back, understanding it without having to think about it.

They shared a few more moments like that, not saying much but just holding each other, fingers entwining, exchanging shy but happy smiles when their eyes met.

After a while, Kakashi laid on his back, before he turned to look at Iruka again. He ran a hand through his hair, the effort of straightening it in vain though.

"I have to go… they're expecting me back to give out instructions for the night patrol…. I..."

His hand that held one of Iruka's just tightened slightly, before he let go again.

"You know, I'd really want to stay… but I can't." He looked at Iruka, and in his ever clear and steady gaze, Iruka could see that he was honest.

"I know." He smiled to himself. "It doesn't matter. I'm happy that you came here tonight. I really am."

He moved over and kissed the older man, Kakashi's lips tasting almost sweeter than before, now that Iruka knew their time together was limited tonight.

"I hope you will come back though, when you find the time."

Their eyes met again and Kakashi didn't reply, just looked into Iruka's eyes, for a longer time. Then finally, he got up and started sorting his clothes which were spread all over the floor.

Iruka pulled on his dark pants and black simple shirt he usually wore underneath his ninja vest, then his sandals next, only loosely closing them.

He accompanied Kakashi to the door when the older man was ready to leave. Before he left, Kakashi took his hand and Iruka held it.

"Good night." He nodded and leaned in for a final short kiss.

Then he left and soon his body became a shadowy retreating form, walking down the hallway in the dark towards the stairs. Still, Iruka couldn't take his eyes off of him and he stood there, just staring out into that dark, not moving from the spot.

When he closed the door behind him, he was engulfed by darkness inside his apartment but it didn't feel that way.

He smiled.

Before he walked back towards the living room, he briefly thought of going out to get himself a warm meal; his senses were now all alive and he was indeed feeling hungry, but even though it was only a short walk around the corner to the food shops, it was curfew and he intended to follow Kakashi's orders.

He turned around to walk toward his desk in the living room to light the lamp when suddenly…

There was a sound in the darkness behind him; footsteps approaching fast, and before he could even turn, there was a cackle then a low, muffled voice spoke into his ear

Something hard struck down on his head and his knees gave way immediately. His fingers found the lamp switch and he managed to turn it. He twisted around as he was going down, and in the light now flooding the room, he saw _someone _...

And then a cloth was pressed onto his mouth, drenched in a sharp and biting liquid. It made everything turn dark again, as he slowly drifted off into unconsciousness.

Slowly, after a few more breaths, Iruka closed his eyes, the walls around him closing in and then finally they were no more…

_End of Chapter 11 – Chap 12 is in the works_


	7. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Dawn was slowly approaching, a faint light blue line at the horizon, when Kakashi looked up from his papers and maps, having spent most of his time – after getting back to the Hokage Headquarters – giving out orders and organizing the nightly patrols around the village, all during the darkest hours of the curfew.

With all this happening around him, still, there was something else inside of him that he carried around with him, invisible to others, palpable to himself.

It was the feeling of Iruka's hand on his cheek, of his kisses against his neck, of his hands touching his every flesh. He didn't allow this feeling to surface during the busiest hours but now, after he had waited for reports to come in and had marked on a map all the crucial locations where they had found evidence, he gazed out the window, his thoughts almost automatically returning to a few hours before, how he and Iruka had made love.

His fingers paused in the midst of signing his name on a paper; his pen had left a small blotch of ink on it from where was held poised, but Kakashi barely noticed.

It was something that was keeping his thoughts busy, making him look out of the window without even seeing anything… the fact that he had never felt about something, someone, so strongly; never before.

No, actually, that wasn't true. He had. Maybe, up until now though, he had never been able to acknowledge it.

He remembered Rin's words vividly now, on that day he proposed to her, about him and Obito, and finally now, many years later, he finally understood what she had meant by them.

_Some day you will find someone that you really wanna be with—a person you__'ll love and wanna take care of. Even if you don't understand it now, you will understand it later…. _

Rin had known all along what he had felt for Obito. She had understood more about him than he had ever understood about himself… that there was a reason why he had never chased after girls, like the other young jounin back at the academy, and it was not because he was only focussed on his studies like he pretended to be, late at nights, reading his books in the dark light of his room.

She understood why he had never pondered marriage again, after she was long married herself, but instead chose to keep himself busy with his work, never visiting any of those village celebrations that shinobi would participate in order to meet others in a relaxed atmosphere, maybe to find someone special of the opposite sex… and it was not because he didn't have time to go.

She had understood why being together with her to him… in the end… would never have been _enough._

Yet, she never told him. Not even years afterwards. Whenever they met, she would, on occasion, tease him about not having found his special someone yet, and now that he remembered it, her eyes had always twinkled lightly, teasingly. Yet, she had never told him.

_Why?..._

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and finally laid down the pen on the paper, only then noticing that blotch of ink on the page.

He could only imagine that she wanted him to find it out himself. That was simply Rin.

He guessed that she thought that if she told him, he would have denied it anyway. And maybe, he thought while he stared at a blank point on the table, she was right at that.

He needed to find out himself. And now that he had, he realized he had known all along. Had just never let it surface, never really faced it… up till now.

And with all that came various implications. Too many to oversee.

Just one of those implications was the simple question: to open up about it or not?

His job, his reputation… wouldn't it all be at stake? There had been examples in the past of shinobi leaving the force, a cloud of rumours surrounding their decision in many cases, simple fact in others, some of them seeking new professions while people turned their head at them in the streets, as they walked along with their partners.

Yet there were others, and yes, he knew about them, just like many people did, who stayed inside the ranks.

And never, so much he thought he knew, had they not been fulfilling their duties like everybody else and had not been not respected for that, like everybody else. It was possible…

_Even at the top…_

And Iruka, so much Kakashi knew about the younger teacher… he was not one to hide.

He never had, right from the beginning. He knew that now. That strength…. another reason to think only fondly of him…

For some reason, as he ordered the papers in the same small room where they had first kissed just today, Kakashi, getting ready for the last briefing of the night before making his way home, started feeling strange.

He knew that Iruka had not held it against him when he hadn't answered his question of whether he would be back. He had purposely neglected to answer, and he guessed that Iruka knew that it was just because of his persona, him never having been good with words when it came to personal matters, that he had not told him he would.

He didn't even know why it bothered him, but he wished he had said something, confirmed what was between them. People did that all the time.

Leaving that small room, on his way back to Tsunade's office, he thought that maybe this was still something for him to learn. Maybe today was a good day to start. Maybe today, returning to Iruka's house and asking to be let in… was the way to go.

Pulling up his mask nervously, he nodded at Izumiya whom he encountered on the hallway. To feel so… nervous about something seemed childish, and yet, having never felt something like this before, Kakashi treasured the feeling as something only Iruka-sensei could make him feel. Out of the ordinary. Unusual. Perfect.

Upon walking the last steps down the stairs to the first floor, noise greeted Kakashi from downstairs, more a nervous discussion than a real conversation. When people caught sight of him, a few turned their heads, some clearing their throats tensely, and more than just a few pair of eyes gazed at him blankly.

_Something… happened._

As he walked closer, he noticed a few of the faces turning away from him, as if no-one was able or willing to tell him what they were talking about.

Finally though, Maito Gai emerged and walked toward him, his gaze intense. Suspiciously so.

"What's wrong?" He stared at Gai, urging him to speak.

Gai cleared his throat, uncomfortably so, and spoke, and unlike himself, his one brow flickered nervously as he told Kakashi of the news.

"A patrol just got back from their round through the western quarters of town… and they saw something suspicious…" He looked distraught, not finishing his sentence.

There was the steady patter of feet leading to the floor they were standing on and everybody turned their heads towards the approaching person.

From afar, the small stature of Uzumaki Naruto emerged, his cheeks fiery and his eyes glimmering, as he came running toward them

"Kakashi-sensei!" He sounded breathless. "Kakashi-sensei…. They have Iruka-sensei! They have him!"

_What? …. __No…_

His eyes opened wide and he stood still, looking at Naruto approaching. He could not believe what he had heard, his voice was shaking slightly when he spoke.

"What do you mean, Naruto…. 'They have Iruka'? " He stepped closer to the young ninja, urging him to explain.

Naruto was breathless, having run all the way from Iruka-sensei's house to the Hokage Headquarters, frantically searching his pockets for the key to his house, ready to go home and get more weapons, more kunai, more anything, ready to head out to follow those bastards who had taken Iruka-sensei away.

But first, he needed to tell Kakashi-sensei…. he just needed to know!

He was out of breath, bending over with his hands on his knees, but when he looked up and his eyes met the older teacher's, Kakashi knew it was serious. And his hands, upon realizing that, started shaking.

"He…. I …. We were patrolling around his house, Sakura, Neji and me, and then Sakura…" His voice was shaky as he recounted that moment when all of them saw what had happened.

"She pointed up to Iruka-sensei's house and we saw that the door was open. And when we ran upstairs to check, he wasn't there… and we found this."

He reached into his backpack and got out Iruka-sensei's forehead protector, which he always wore when he went outside, and some sort of folded paper, with handwritten lines on it. He handed it over to Kakashi.

Hesitantly, the older shinobi took it, and after gazing at Naruto, and trying to keep still his slightly shaky fingers, he opened it.

He read aloud, the people surrounding turning silent to listen. Maito Gai looked at Kakashi, his gaze unreadable.

"Umino Iruka is on our hands..." Kakashi cleared his throat, blinking slightly, not taking his eyes off the letter.

"Umino Iruka is in our hands. If you want him back, you know what to do. Bring our man to the Northern Gate at midnight. One person is enough. If you fail to do so, or arrive too late, he will die and our wrath will hit Konoha like it had hit Ureha before. Know your enemies."

When his eyes reached the bottom of the letter, Kakashi narrowed them. There was a red thumb print used to sign the letter. And looking a little closer, he knew what that red color consisted of….

His face turned ashen, and when he looked up at the faces of the people surrounding him, he was met with further shock and disbelief. Iruka-sensei, the respected and beloved young teacher, in the hands of an unknown group of enemies… that, in addition to the senseless murder of last night, was enough to shut up the last of the sceptics who doubted that Konoha itself, at its very core, was under attack.

Naruto, eagerly looking up to his older teacher, turned around to look into the eyes of the people nearby, and then grabbed Kakashi's arm.

"We must do something, Kakashi-sensei! We cannot let them get away with this. We must go and find Iruka-sensei, and then-"

"Enough, Naruto…" Kakashi's words cut through the younger shinobi one's like a knife, although his voice was low, and slightly husky.

He met Naruto's eyes, and with a gesture of his hand that showed he was not tolerating any dissent on this matter, he turned back toward the Hokage Headquarters. Before he walked off, he spoke to the younger shinobi, over his shoulders.

"I will take care of this matter. We will get Iruka-sensei back. That is all I have to say to this. Now go."

"That is all you have to say to what, Kakashi?" Heads turned in direction a well known female voice that had appeared out of nowhere.

Tsunade smiled at him when Kakashi turned around. Shizune was behind her and two other shinobi who had accompanied her on her travel to the Hidden Village of the Sand.

"My, my, whatever it is, it seems I have arrived back home just in time." She looked at Kakashi, her eyes narrowing slightly, being able to tell immediately that something had happened to him. He didn't look his usual self at all.

"Kakashi, to my office." She gestured at Maito Gai and the others.

"All of you, keep ready in case I need to talk to you." She met Kakashi's eyes, then walked past him up the stairs, Shizune following her, carrying Tonton, the little piglet grunting on her arm.

Kakashi exchanged one last short gaze with Naruto, who followed, still looking flummoxed.

Naruto, clenching his fists, stomped his foot on the ground.

"Ah, enough…. Why enough? This is so stupid." He turned around, running back to the place where he had left Sakura, at Iruka-sensei's house. He would have to tell her the disappointing news: that they themselves wouldn't be allowed to do anything to save Iruka-sensei before midnight. Only one person was allowed to go!

After Tsunade entered her office, with Shizune carrying Tonton following her, she sat down behind her desk, stretched her arms above her head, yawned heartily after the two-day trip from which she had just returned.

When the door to her office fell closed behind Kakashi, she considered him through slightly narrowed eyes, that small smile still on her lips.

"So, tell me, Kakashi, what do I need to know?" She turned around on the swivel chair, her elbows on the table.

"It's about those murders, isn't it?" That smile vanished and she nodded.

"Tell me the news."

Kakashi stood, his arms hanging down his side. His face looked pale still, yet he seemed composed, not nervous or anything. Just eager to bring to justice those who did this.

"They killed a woman in the village yesterday. A shinobi from another village. And… they have Iruka-sensei in their hands. Naruto… he just informed me." Kakashi clenched his fists slightly without noticing it, as he looked up into Tsunade's face.

When he did notice, he put his hands on his hips, staring at the floor. He met Tsunade's eyes, then shook his head.

"I need to go." He turned around, about to walk out the door.

"Kakashi….." Tsunade's voice sounded softer now. He stopped, albeit hesitantly, then slowly turned around.

Tsunade searched Kakashi's eyes, his demeanor unusual, and she noticed immediately.

"Shizune, call all the jounin, wherever they are right now." She wasn't looking at Kakashi, who in turn was looking at her.

"If they think they can get away with this, they are wrong. Go." Shizune, with Tonton still in her arm, nodded and left.

She observed Kakashi but not a word was said after Shizune closed the door behind her. They heard the young woman hurry down the hallway in the direction of the stairs and then there was silence.

Tsunade took a deep breath, smoothing back a strand of blonde hair.

"I know I should never have left, but as you know that trip to the Village of the Sand was scheduled a long time ago. Still…." she shook her head "I wouldn't have gone... had I known."

She took a good look at Kakashi, noting how uptight he was, much unlike the Kakashi she knew.

"We will get them. And we will get Iruka back. I…" She looked up when there was a knock on the door and Gai and some of the other jounin entered. They all gathered before Tsunade's desk, Kakashi in their middle, not looking up to meet anyone's eyes.

All of them had heard what happened already. Kakashi passed the kidnappers' note to Tsunade and she read it aloud, for all of them to hear. After she was finished, she looked at all of them.

"I want to know which of you is ready to do this… Remember, they have killed right in our village before and they won't hesitate to kill again. This is not a small responsibility to take, but I know all of you are capable of handling it. So?" She leaned back, studying them.

Kakashi looked up and opened his mouth, about to say something… but before he could, a voice was heard from behind them.

"I will do it." Asuma said, and stepped to the front, past Kakashi, to speak up. He shook his head. "Iruka is my best friend. I just need to…."

"No!"

Kakashi's voice was sharp, clipped, silencing Asuma. Maito Gai and the other jounin, as well as Tsunade, turned to look at him, who had been unusually quiet while Asuma spoke. Surprised looks came his way at his sudden outburst.

He didn't look up at first, seeming to gaze at a spot on the floor. Then, he met Tsunade's eyes.

"I will go."

Tsunade looked at him, her eyes ever narrowing. She leant back, folding her hands over her chest.

"Why, Kakashi, there's no reason for you to…"

"I said I will go."

"I need you here, Kakashi." Tsunade's voice sounded sharp. She shook her head. "Why in the world do you need to go when Asuma is well capable of handling this? Someone needs to retain order here while all this is going on. I am counting on you, Hatake Kakashi, so why…"

"I will go." His voice was dark and grave, much unlike the familiar Kakashi voice which many of them had witnessed before.

Now all of the jounin present turned their heads to look at Kakashi. Asuma, maybe the last of them, turned to look at him as well, his gaze wandering then resting on Kakashi. It took a while before his expression changed, as if he had a revelation, and then slowly gained a knowing quality.

Asuma stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder, looking at Tsunade.

"It's okay, let him…"

"I will go, because he's…" He shook his head, Asuma's hand still resting on his shoulder, the other shinobi tightening his grip as if signalling to Kakashi that he didn't have to tell them anything.

"Let him, I don't insist on going…"

"He's my…" Kakashi breathed out, what he was about to say choking him.

"Him and I… we are… "

He stopped, never having known the right word for this. He never _had_ to know, up until this very day.

The room fell silent. All that could be heard now was Kakashi's heavy breathing. Some of those present gave Kakashi surprised looks, others started to stare uncomfortably at their shoes before flitting their eyes upwards to look at Tsunade. Izumiya cleared his throat. And all through that, Asuma's hand was still resting on Kakashi's shoulder; he had not flinched a bit.

When he noticed Kakashi's shoulders trembling just slightly, he tightened his grip, giving comfort, before he took his hand away. Then he too looked at Tsunade.

Tsunade's face didn't seem to have altered much from its initial sternness. Her gaze laid on Kakashi, like before. Throughout his exclamation though, the expression in her eyes had changed slightly. The hardness was gone, replaced by something else. What it was perhaps only Shizune could tell, watching from a place behind, close to the door, knowing Tsunade best out of all those present. Tonton gave a squeak, then the room fell silent again.

Tsunade breathed in.

Then, finally, she nodded.

"Okay. Asuma and Gai, you will stay and take care of instructing the shinobi who are on duty tonight. Until Kakashi and Iruka are back, we will stay put and instigate another curfew. I want all of you to check back with me in two hour's time and inform me about the progress."

"That's all." She leaned back in her chair.

Izumiya was the first to turn round and walk toward the door. The rest of the shinobi, after exchanging short glances with each other, followed suit.

When Kakashi turned to do the same, Tsunade's spoke up, her voice softening slightly.

"Kakashi, I want to have a word with you. Stay for a moment longer, please."

The other shinobi, giving Kakashi a last glance, left. Asuma, the last one to leave, closed the door behind them. Now alone with Tsunade, Kakashi seemed to regain his posture after a while. He closed his eyes and took a breath, then looked up and met her eyes.

"What is it you want to talk to me about? I don't think I'm capable of thinking clearly right now." He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair.

"Forgive me."

Tsunade looked at him. She shook her head, smiling slightly to herself, then moved back from the desk, opening the top most drawer to her right hand side. She got out a small bottle and placed two cups on the desk before here. She nodded at the seat opposite to her, urging Kakashi to sit, and poured the sake, one for each of them.

"Here." She gave him a small, unassuming smile. "You will like this. It's a family recipe. My uncle made it. It's one of the finest Konoha sake."

She watched as Kakashi sat down on that chair she had indicated. He looked at her when she poured the drinks, then regarded the small cups on the desk, the sight eerie, reminding him of that one night Iruka first came over to his place and they both had tea together…

Then, finally, he took one of the cups and downed the content, placing back the cup on the desk, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. That sake was burning like hell, but it tasted good, great even, and it was just what he needed right now. How she knew, he couldn't tell, but it wasn't the first time that Kakashi got the impression, talking to Tsunade, that both understood more about the other than their rather casual relationship would suggest. Finding lovers among shinobi was hard, finding friends in the ranks may be almost equally as difficult.

"This will be dangerous, Kakashi." Tsunade's voice was calm when she spoke to him. Despite the seriousness of the situation, she gave him a small smile.

"You know that I know you will be able to handle this, like everything else you set your mind to. But all of them," she leaned back, folding her arms over her chest, gazing at the door "will give you any help you may need. You are not alone in this, Kakashi. We all want Iruka back. You must know and understand that."

Kakashi propped up his elbows on his knees, folding his hands, seeming to regard them for a moment. Then he nodded.

"Yes, I know." He ran a hand through his thick white hair, meeting her eyes briefly before he looked down at his hands again, burying his head in them, rubbing his face as if to wake up from a dream, but looking as serious as before when his eyes met Tsunade's again.

She sighed.

"In all those years I have known you, Kakashi, I've never seen you like this. At some point I could even have sworn that you're the only one amongst the shinobi ranks not to have any feelings at all." She sipped from her sake, giving him a cheeky smile.

"I know you don't want to hear this now, but I'm glad I was wrong." Her eyes shifted just slightly, before she renewed her gaze at him.

"It's a myth that shinobi like us don't need someone to be with, a family; that we are better off without one, if anything happened to us." Her fingers clenched the cup she was holding a little tighter.

"I know Iruka-sensei never believed that to be true." She breathed in, looking at him.

"And neither should you." She looked out of the window, seeming to ponder before she met Kakashi's eyes again.

"I know you, Kakashi. I know you better than you think, and I know that, in that stubborn head of yours, you are thinking that these kinds of affairs are unacceptable inside the ranks, maybe even outside of them." She put down her cup on the table, folding her hands.

"Well, let me tell you, they are not, and it doesn't matter what the others think about it." Her gaze flitted over at the door, no doubt talking about all those that had left the office a few moments ago.

"Let them talk as much as they want, if they want to talk." Her expression was resolute when she looked at Kakashi. Her hand slid up to touch the pendant she wore around her neck.

"Life…. " Her gaze seemed to shift before she met the jounin's eyes again, smiling slightly.

"It's too short to worry about such things, Kakashi. Let us get Iruka back. At all cost. We all need him, even if you may need him more than any of us."

She sat up, matter of fact, her hands holding the edge of the wooden desk.

"Let's prepare all that we need to prepare. There's still some time but we don't want to waste any of it." Her chair scraped against the floor as she stood up, walking towards him.

Kakashi looked up to meet her eyes, then nodded, getting up from his seat as well, pushing some white hair that covered his forehead to the side. It was the same hair that Iruka, just last night, had stroked with his hands when he was looking at him, the room lit only with the faint light of the candle. The memory was now almost unbearable, enforcing the urge to go out there and save him, no matter what, no matter how much of his energy and power it would take.

In a dark room, if it was a room at all, the light of two torches was flickering against the ceiling.

The taste of copper in his mouth made him choke. He blinked then opened his eyes, taking in his surrounding like someone who had just woken from a sleep to find himself in an unknown place.

He wasn't able to make out much. The moist air seemed to suggest that he was in a basement of some sort, but to see more would require him to be able to move. Which he wasn't.

The ropes tying him to a chair were tight, only allowing him to turn his head slightly, and not enough to see much.

He swallowed; his mouth unnaturally dry. The smell of what had put him to sleep still in his nose.

"Hello?... " His voice sounded strange, unfamiliar, even to himself.

"Where am I… is… anyone there?" He tried to turn around again, yet even before he did, he knew–felt–that he wasn't alone. Someone else was in the room, somewhere in the darkness behind him. And whoever it was, seemed to watch his every move.

His voice sounded dark, disgusted, when Iruka raised his voice at him.

"Who the hell are you…?"

The cackle that came as an answer was high and eerie. Whoever was behind him took all the time in the world to answer. Then an equally high voice, like scratching nails on a board, started to talk.

"You don't need to know yet, Iruka-sensei. It will not change anything if you do."

The voice sighed exaggeratedly, then continued.

"Kakashi knows. He will tell you about the Red Spear. He will tell you all you need to know. If you ever see him again, that is."

The rest of what the voice told him went down in laughter, and then Iruka saw a patch of light before him, as if a door had opened from behind, then almost all turned dark again, the only sound that Iruka was able to hear now was the sound of receding footsteps and the fire of the torches slowly dying down.

End of chap 12


	8. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_(Note from the author: Thanks for all you guys patiently waiting. There's still more to come. Chapter 14 and 15 is in the works, Chapter 16 will probably be the closing chapter to this story that I have grown to love so immensely, but had little time to work on lately. There will be more from me, and I hope you guys will visit and read. :) - Love, Lent)_

At twilight a flock of birds on their way south seeking refuge for the winter started circling above the Village of Konoha in the slow setting sun. Their cries fell upon emptying streets and people locking doors after themselves as they return home from a day at the various markets, the restaurants around town, the crafts businesses in the eastern district. At the Academy, ANBU members were arriving for the late shift, preparing themselves for a demanding night, as they had been told; one that might change the fate of the Village of the Leaves forever if the attempted exchange of hostages fails and war against an uncertain enemy erupts.

Kakashi had spent the day catching up some sleep from last night, but was still feeling tired, numbed, when he got back to the Hokage Headquarters. This was not something that worried him though. He knew that tonight nothing would be able to stop him from fulfilling his task to the best of his abilities.

In the late afternoon, inside Tsunade's office, Kakashi and Tsunade got up, exchanging an understanding glance, signalling that the formal part of their last briefing today had now ended. Kakashi put his hands on his hips and looked outside at the setting sun that was just now touching the tips of the forests and mountains that separated Konoha from the Country of Rock, from all that had so far been the main source of danger for the people that he, like Tsunade, felt responsible for.

It was 5:15. Still more than six hours to go, but right now it felt like an eternity to him.

He pulled down his mask, facing the fifth Hokage. Tsunade recognized that it was an unusual gesture for him, and she was only barely able to imagine what it must mean for a man like Kakashi to let his guard down enough to actually allow himself to fall in love with someone. Or allow someone else to fall in love with him. He looked different now to how she had ever seen him before. Determined. This in itself was, of course, nothing special. Kakashi had always looked determined to fulfil any mission that was assigned to him. Today was different though. It felt as if he was determined to free himself of a burden that, had he not found someone very special to fight for, might have crushed him, sooner or later.

"Do you see this?"

His Sharingan eye looked bleak, almost dead, as he pointed at it.

When he held his finger close though, the pupil of the eye seemed to quiver slightly, as if it had been ignited by a short, electric pulse. It was an eerie sight, as it came a little unexpected.

"I have this because someone died for me. Ages ago."

She looked at him and then nodded.

"Obito? Yes, I know, Kakashi. I've been told. Don't look so surprised. Of course people would be talking about you, you're the most prolific shinobi of them all and you know that. People do take an interest in you. They always have."

He looked at her, obviously unfazed by what she had just told him, but Tsunade knew well enough that Kakashi had never even contemplated being the center of attention of gossip so this bit of information simply didn't matter to him.

"I don't want anyone to die for me ever again. Once is enough. Once was too much."

"I know." She smiled.

"When my husband died, all I wanted to do was die with him. I could not fathom a life without him. Love does that to us. "

She looked into his eyes that she had never felt were anything other than Kakashi's own. It was the face that she had gotten to know so well over the years, mask or no mask.

"But we cannot live in the past and we cannot turn back the time. The only thing we can change is the future. Your life with Iruka has only just begun, Kakashi. All you need to do is get him back for us. And you will."

She reached out to his right hand and pressed it for reassurance. The pendant on her chest seeming to warm up, and she could feel it clearly pulsing against her chest, something she hadn't felt it in a long time. And she was thankful for that.

When Kakashi left Tsunade's office, he took a moment to get his bearings, to collect himself, and then turned right with long-striding steps, his mind immediately racing with all the things he needed to take care of, things he needed to prepare. People turned to look at him as he walked by, some whispering, but he ignored them; he was beyond caring about them now.

There were basic decisions to be made. The note he read earlier suggested that Iruka would be freed in exchange for Konoha's captive, the supposed murderer they kept locked down in the basement prison cells of the Hokage Headquarters. But would this end things?,They would get back Iruka, but how would the murderers and attackers of Konoha be held responsible for what they have done? And maybe the most obscure question of them all, what had been their goal in the first place?

There was something they were missing, something that might be crucial to finding out why things had happened the way they happened.

He had gone over the content of the note in his mind, again and again, but nothing seemed to click; nothing seemed to suggest why Iruka, of all people, would be the target of….of…

_Blood. Red. The signature. A thumbprint in red…_

It struck him, right there in the middle of that hallway on his way to the prison and shook him violently like only a memory could. A memory that had been buried deep down inside, only to resurface now as the answer to many questions - the golden thread connecting all the pieces.

He changed his path abruptly and turned left at the next corner, still down to the basement but not towards the prison cells, instead to the old ANBU archives that he had not visited in a long time, not since he had left the force a few years back.

His heart was pounding violently as he opened the creaking metal door and entered the vaults that stored the entire ANBU history; files that dated back to the days ANBU was founded under the first Hokage.

Kakashi lit the lamps and made his way towards the back end of the room that housed the archives of all the unsolved crimes reports that had been filed away during the last years, this particular section held all the files that were collected during the years after the Nine-Tailed-Fox had attacked the village; years of confusion and mourning for a lot of the villagers, like Iruka, and yes, like himself. Years that had made joining ANBU all the more natural to him in the first place.

He skipped through the archives – one gaze on the clock telling him he only had five hours left now – feverishly searching for files of one particular summer, the summer before he left ANBU to become a full-fledged jounin teacher at the Konoha Academy.

Around that particular year, there had been quarrels among the ranks when one of the ANBU, Masamoto Shougo, was arrested and subsequently fired from the force as he was found guilty of having sold weapons and other supplies to one of the gangs that ANBU had been after for months prior to his arrest; a gang which had been terrorizing travellers and merchants in the woods around Konoha for some time already.

The lead that led to Masamoto's arrest had come from Kakashi himself. One night, walking home from the book store after a particularly stressful day, his nose buried in a copy of the latest Icha Icha Paradise - Holiday Edition, he had stumbled upon two people lurking in the shadows underneath a tree before one of the Ichiraku Ramen stands. He had discerned Masamoto's rather high, prominent voice almost immediately, even though both figures seemed eager not to attract any attention., They were seemingly having a rather heated argument, and as a master of stealth and curious by nature, Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke and reappeared behind said tree, listening in on what the apparent disagreement was about.

What he gathered that night led to a thorough investigation and arrests that shook the ranks, especially since, up until that day, Masamoto had been one of the most promising talents to emerge from the ANBU ranks, a future jounin from one of the oldest and most renowned families of Konoha. His father had served with Kakashi's father and had been one of the few who attended his funeral, a few years before he himself fell in battle. It was discovered that Masamoto Shougo, over a course of just a few years, had gambled away his family's fortune in the gambling dens of the Village of the Sand, losing not only all of his money but the family home to a shady group of shinobi calling themselves Akayari….. the Red Spear. As it was discovered during the investigation leading up to the trial, Masamoto, in order to pay off his debts, had recruited a few of his most faithful followers from the ANBU ranks to help him steal weapons and money out of ANBU resources, get them out the village and distribute them among the Akayari, who used these resources to extend their activities into neighbouring countries, strengthening their position as one of the most vicious gang of thieves and murderers of their time. Their secret sign, one which they often left at the place of a robbery or a murder, was that of a red thumbprint, most often created using their victim's blood .

However, Masamoto's fate became a mystery. Two days before his trial, he disappeared from his prison cell and with him two lower ranked ANBU who had not been identified as accomplices before. Despite extensive searches and ANBU missions going as far as the Country of Rain, Masamoto was never to be seen or heard of again.

With him also disappeared the group known as the Red Spear and ever since then it was believed that they had disbanded, with Masamoto, rumoured to have become one of their leading figures before he was found out, presumably dead or in hiding. After years of not having heard anything about them, memories of the Red Spear faded from public memory and the group fell into oblivion.

Those events back then sped up Kakashi's promotion to become a jounin and even though everyone around him knew that it was the path he eventually would have found himself on anyway, he himself attributed many of his early accolades to those events, for better or worse.

As he finished reading the old files, a feeling crept up inside him that made him uneasy yet even more determined at the same time. He now knew who they were up against and if one lesson was taught from the start to all the young genin at the Konoha Academy, it was the one that told them how important it was to know their enemies in order to defeat them.

It seemed like the Red Spear had re-gathered their strength in hiding to take out their vengeance on Konoha. Though knowing this was good, it didn't make things any easier.

If Masamoto himself was still alive and behind all of this, years and years of working towards this goal would have made him a tough and fierce enemy. Kakashi was certain of that.

And to think that Iruka was in Masamoto's hands….

There was probably more behind tonight's meeting than simply exchanging one hostage or prisoner for another. Maybe releasing Iruka had never been the Red Spear's prime objective in all of this after all. Not if it was Masamoto's one pawn against Kakashi, the man responsible for his downfall.

Thinking back, capturing their prisoner had felt all too easy in hindsight. It was all, as it appeared now, a sham. They had been set up, the objective being to let ANBU capture the murderer easily and use him and Iruka as a ploy to lure Kakashi out of town.

It all made sense now.

The note asked for only one person to come and do the exchange at midnight tonight. Masamoto had not targeted Iruka randomly but deliberately, had probably sent someone out to monitor Kakashi, had subsequently found out about them and felt certain enough to assume that if Iruka was in danger, it would be Kakashi to come to his rescue. And the jounin shinobi and former ANBU wouldn't allow anyone else to do it for him.

Indeed, he would not….

Kakashi laid down the papers and records that hadn't been touched in years, a look at the clock telling him that it was now eight. He had spent an hour inside here, but had not wasted a minute of it.

There was still time left to let Tsunade know what he found out. To ask her to order any of the other jounin to take on the task, since it had gotten too personal now. Too dangerous; a set-up that was designed for him and him alone. …

Kakashi blinked, his Sharingan focusing, using nerves that were part his and part Obito's.

_A gift from a friend, from a loved one, that must now be put to good use._

He got up, arranged the papers on the table for other shinobi to discover in case he would not be able to return after tonight and then left the archive, making his way to the prison cells to tell the guards when he would return to take away the captive, giving them enough time to prepare, then made his way home to his own preparations for tonight's encounter at the northern gate, at the stroke of midnight.

**End of Chapter 13**


	9. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The elaborate pile of noodles, egg, bean sprouts and strips of meat disappeared faster than Choji could assemble his chopsticks and attack his own bowl of homemade ramen. The contest was over before it had even begun.

When Naruto put his empty bowl down on the table and leant back in his chair to let out a hearty burp, a piece of fishcake sticking to his cheek, Choji laughed out loudly, forfeiting the battle with one hand while putting a piece of meat into his mouth with the other.

Sakura looked away, making a disgusted face, while Shikamaru, who had cooked dinner for them, stood by the stove grinning, wiping clean one of the huge soup bowls. It was something that his mother had bestowed to him in fear for his nutritional health, since a few months back he had told her that he had decided to move out and live on his own, closer to the Academy, now that he had become a jounin aspirant and would be spending a lot of time there.

Choji slapped his thighs, munching away happily despite having lost to his friend.

"Gosh, I want to be able to eat as fast as that. It's so effective. You gotta teach me that, Naruto. Promise me."

He chuckled, the tips of his brown hair quivering in delight.

"Ah-ah, sure I will." Naruto grinned. "But you're so lame compared to me, Choji, you'll need to practice your chopsticks no jutsu!"

Saying that, he made a snapping motion with his fingers, his chopsticks now rotating effortlessly around them.

"See? I'm the number one chopsticks master of Konoha, the next best thing right after becoming Hokage. Yep!"

Shikamaru let out a guffaw, throwing the wet towel over a line above the stove to dry and slumping down on the worn out looking couch next to Choji. Despite being equipped with a heavy bone structure, Choji jumped a little in the process and punched Shikamaru onto his forearm uttering a little half-hearted growl, hardly being able to conceal a big grin on his face. Shikamaru grinned back, ruffling his friend's bouffant hair and then turned to look at Sakura and Naruto, a sheepish smile on his face.

"So, what are we going to do tonight if we're not allowed to go out during the curfew? How about killing this one here….."

He reached underneath the table to pull out a bottle of Konoha Light Beer, the one made of soft spring dew gathered only off virgin leaves from a hill covered with maple trees up north. Sharing one bottle among four, the only effect resulting from it would probably be a faint tingling on their cheeks and the inexplicable ingrained memory of what it was like to be kind of drunk for the first time in their lives. But Choji's and Naruto's eyes widened nonetheless, looking at what might be a rare artefact judging by their expression, with Naruto even picking up and raising his glass expectantly….

They were interrupted by a loud bang on the table. Sakura looked at them with a fierce expression on her face and eyes glowing with a fiery light that made Choji wince in pain just looking at her.

"How can you even think of doing this while Kakashi-sensei is going out there on his own tonight? We don't even know if we're going to see Kakashi-sensei ever again, OR Iruka-sensei, for that matter, if all goes wrong!" She waved a hand in the air, in front of their faces, the sight too much for Choji now, forcing him to look away in barely concealed terror. The emotions of a girl were frightening and a force of nature that he couldn't really grasp even if he tried, not that he felt inclined to try most of the time.

"You are unbelievable! Honestly, unbelievable! Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei could die tonight and all you guys can think about is drinking this… this…beer." she waved at the bottle in utter disgust. "Sasuke would never have done this."

But of course that was a lie and she knew it. Sasuke, if he were still with them, would probably have been eager to try, just like the rest of them.

_Boys! They were all the same, all of them._

She let out a disgusted huff, crossing her arms over her chest and looked at Shikamaru and Naruto alternately, since Choji had chosen to study the faded out wallpaper in all its glorious insignificance.

The effect of her speech, even though she had intended to stir something up, still ended up surprising her. Naruto's face had changed in an instant: from happy-go-lucky to sober and sad, while Shikamaru's hand holding the bottle sank to the ground and he put it down, his forehead in wrinkles. He cleared his throat, looking at Sakura.

"What are we supposed to do then? We can't go out. There's ANBU patrolling the streets everywhere." He shook his head, his brows furrowing some more, clearly dissatisfied with the options, or lack thereof, that Kakashi had left them with.

"Kakashi-sensei will kill us when he returns and finds out that we sneaked out despite him telling us not to. You know how he is, Sakura. He wasn't joking today when he said that we're not allowed to go out."

Sakura let out a short sob, Choji turning to look back at her in sympathy.

"_If_ he returns, you mean." She looked up, her eyes now almost brimming with tears, her heart not accepting the inevitable, even though she knew that the others were right about this. Still, her mind was racing with the need to do _something_, even if she didn't know just what that _something_ could in fact be.

"Is it true then? You know, what Asuma and Gai were talking about earlier at the Academy? That Kakashi-sensei and Iruka are an item? That they played hopscotch together? That they tickled each other's….."

"We get it." Sakura raised her hands, closing her eyes, stifling the conversation before Shikamaru could make yet another ridiculous allegory of two grown-ups, their teachers after all, sharing a bed and exchanging a few loving embraces in the privacy of their own homes. So private indeed that Sakura–and she was still a little shocked by it–had never even noticed that there was something building up between Kakashi and Iruka-sensei, which was inconceivable since she had always been the one to _know_ such things.

One look at Shikamaru and Choji for instance told her that both of them could have been an item for quite a while now, if Choji actually kept his nose out of his soup bowl long enough and Shikamaru started spending more time with them again and less time at the academy playing endless Go battles with Asuma-sensei. Of course she never told them that, but it was so darn obvious, even if it would probably take the two them some four or five more years to figure it out by themselves, if they hadn't married girls by then and started a family by parenting either heavy-boned or genius children respectively. Boys!

She had had a hunch about Sasuke and Naruto as well, way back when, before things fell apart, but thinking about it was painful, so she chose not to. It was a good thing that Naruto was such a dork and totally detached from his feelings other than wanting to get Sasuke to come back home. If he weren't such a dork, it would probably be harder for him, the current situation and all with Sasuke not around. And also harder for her. Despite all that happened she still had feelings for Sasuke, even though she realized long time ago that Sasuke would never be able to return them, not as long as Naruto was there. And knowing Naruto, she knew he would always be there.

"Is there something wrong with it? Because they're gay?" She narrowed her eyes at Shikamaru. "Some shinobi are, believe it or not, even if no-one ever talks about it." She sighed. Grown-ups were so strange at times, and in this particular instance the rules of society they had set up for themselves seemed so stupid, rigid and obsolete.

"I know. That's not it." Shikamaru shook his head, popping a lonely gherkin into his mouth and chewing on it thoughtfully. It helped him concentrate, despite the seriousness of their conversation.

In hindsight, he simply remembered a lot of instances of running into his former teachers and never having gotten any _such_ vibes from them whatsoever. Of course, Kakashi-sensei had bumped into him on more than one occasion carrying an open Icha Icha book around with him, so he obviously wasn't totally averse to all things 'sensual', but unlike Asuma-sensei or Kurenai-sensei, or his parents for that matter, Kakashi and Iruka always seemed so preoccupied, so immersed into their profession that no-one ever really questioned why they hadn't gotten married or started a family like most, or at least many of the other shinobi. It had actually never crossed their minds, not his at least.

Kakashi, of course, had always played in a different league anyway, compared to other shinobi, and Iruka-sensei always seemed happy enough being a teacher at the Academy and to take care of the young classes of genin. So yeah, the revelation now came a little surprising but not so much because Kakashi-sensei had come out as gay and people had learned the same about Iruka-sensei.

"I just wonder why _we_ never knew," Shikamaru said, looking up at everybody, "you know?" He shrugged.

"I mean, I know it's a private thing and all, but they're our teachers. It's like they didn't trust us."

"Maybe they didn't know?" Sakura said. She sighed. "It happens. And then there's all the gossip." She rolled her eyes emphatically. Some shinobi, even jounin, were blabbermouths.

"I mean, look at it! It's all over the village by now. It's horrible. Would you have wanted that, if you were them?" She shook her head.

Choji was still munching on his piece of meat, because the longer he did that, the more savoury it became, but he too nodded now. If Sakura wasn't so frightening most of the time, she could actually be quite reasonable.

Naruto, who had been awfully quiet up till this point, had sat back in his chair following the conversation, without uttering a word. It was quite unusual for him and even Choji was turning to look at him. Sakura had observed Naruto out of the corner of her eye for the last few minutes and couldn't help wishing for a moment that Sasuke was here now with them, to see how Naruto had grown and how mature he had become.

He had had his hands on the table, viewing them intently, but finally looked up to face them.

"Iruka-sensei told me. Not directly, I mean, but he told me." He took a deep breath, remembering that one time at Ichiraku's, shortly before the murder at the Yakiniku restaurant, when Iruka and Kakashi-sensei arrived late for dinner one night, after having worked all afternoon at Kakashi's place. He remembered how Kakashi-sensei at one point excused himself to use the bathroom and Iruka-sensei fell all silent, following the older teacher with his eyes as he went outside.

Iruka-sensei had seemed a little distracted that night and Naruto did try to engage him by treating him to a bowl of ramen but Iruka-sensei just smiled and declined, telling him that sitting next to Kakashi-sensei all afternoon, drinking tea with him and watching him work, had been satisfying enough. He winked and obviously had meant it as a joke, but Naruto understood nonetheless. In hindsight he had known about Iruka-sensei's admiration for Kakashi-sensei for some time and wondered whether he should have talked more openly to the older shinobi about it. There had been times when Naruto had also caught Kakashi-sensei looking at Iruka, virtually studying the younger teacher, unlike the way he looked at anyone else, at least as far as Naruto could remember. Iruka-sensei was like a father to him and he had always looked up to Kakashi-sensei as well, had always admired him. He felt like he knew both of them so well now….

Maybe he should have done more to bring them together sooner…. what if it was too late now? What if Iruka died… or both of them? And it was his fault that they hadn't found out about each other earlier?

Wasting time was bad. He knew it from experience. He had wasted so much time fighting with Sasuke that he wasn't sure whether he would ever return to Konoha. He wished he had used his time better and instead proven to Sasuke what a true friend he was. He, too, had wasted too much time doing the wrong things instead of the right ones.

He looked at Sakura, then at Shikamaru and then at Choji, his fingers clenching slightly. "If Kakashi-sensei doesn't want us to go out there tonight to help him, fine; but it's our decision to help Iruka-sensei. Iruka-sensei is important to us as well, right?"

Choji nodded.

"We'll follow Kakashi-sensei, and help out if they need us." Now it was Sakura who nodded, and Shikamaru raised his brows, understanding what this would lead to.

They would have to dodge a dozen ANBU and at least fifty shinobi from the Academy to try and get out of the village to the Northern Gate on Kakashi`s trail, but it was worth a try.

No, it was what they had to do.


	10. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Hatake Kakashi was travelling fast through the night, gasping for air in clear-cut intervals, his breath condensing in the cold, autumnal air.

His captive travelled a few feet ahead of him but never too far ahead to be out of reach. The task itself was outwardly reminiscent of the many escorting missions Kakashi had performed over the years since becoming a jounin. This time though, it felt different to the core. This time it was so personal that succeeding was not only mandatory, but was without any alternative.  
Failure was simply inconceivable.

The night was dark and cloudy, but the further they got to the Northern Gate, the more clouds started to break up as a gusty wind formed, shaking the tips of trees to their left and right. When Kakashi and his nameless captive arrived at the Gate, a full moon was clearly visible beneath shreds of clouds, bathing the place and surrounding area in an eerie light. It seemed like a stage on which they were set to perform a play, only this wasn't make believe; it was reality. The sound of an eagle owl, and the wind in the trees, were the only things audible … that and the fast and steady beats of Kakashi's heart.

...

A slap on the back of his head made Iruka stumble. The cackling sound of his abductor's laughter was unnerving, even more so, since Iruka was carefully blindfolded, with no idea where his feet would take him next, to the apparent pleasure of his companion.

A good thirty minutes ago the metal chains that secured the door to his cave-like prison had suddenly started to move and as he had lifted a tired eyelid to see the light of a lamp, the first light in at least twelve hours, he saw a shadowy figure that his adjusting eyes couldn't really discern. It moved closer and turned his chair quickly to blindfold him. He thought he smelled blood on that person but his senses were betraying him by then, so he couldn't say for sure.

They had made their way out into the darkness, the night it seemed as Iruka could hear the sound of an owl, and headed off to an unknown destination.

"Move… move!" the man hissed, and Iruka felt another slap against his back. "Or do you not want to get back home? Back to your loved one? Your one and only?" He cackled, yet again, his voice very close to Iruka's ear, as if he was leaning in to make his message all the more resounding.

"Aah, you miss his embrace, don't you? I watched you. I watched the both of you. You were close. I could see that. You will meet him again, very soon. Oh yes, you will."

"What…", Iruka gasped, almost falling over as he stumbled through some thick roots on the ground since his arms were firmly tied behind his back and he had no way of balancing himself.

"What… do you want? Why won't you show your face? Are you afraid that he will find you? He will, I can promise you that. And then you'll pay for all that you've done, all that you've done to Konoha and its people!"

"_Its people._ Hah. I don't owe them anything. Konoha owes _me_, you hear that? Yes, they owe me. Just like Kakashi owes me. And he will pay. Oh yes." The man again cackled, and Iruka felt another shove to his back, one that hurt a little more than the other ones did; it felt like a knife stabbing into his back.

But that didn't concern him as much as the man's voice. There was something in his tone that sounded odd and yet… vaguely familiar.

It was something that he said.

_Konoha owes me. Kakashi owes me._

And then there was that voice….

"Who… ", Iruka swallowed, "...just _who_ are you? Do… I know you?"

They stopped moving, the hoots of the owl they had heard along their way now sounded closer than ever before. Obviously they were approaching their final destination. The wind blew cold and Iruka shivered.

"Oh….", the man said, again whispering into his ear.

"You know me, Iruka-_chan_. Don't disappoint me, even though it's been a while."

And Iruka's eyes widened, despite the blindfold.

_That voice. Could it be….?_

_Shougo….?_

_..._

The day had begun like many others, fourteen years ago.

In the morning, Iruka had gathered his things for school and left his house, walking down the path to the Academy in the early morning sunshine, when he was joined by someone walking up to him from behind, slapping him on his shoulder.

"What's up, Iruka-_chan_? All alone today? What happened?" The boy grinned and cackled slightly.

"Don't call me that." Iruka mumbled and turned around to look into Masamoto Shougo's eyes. They were class mates and their families were both in the force, but with Shougo's father being a renowned jounin and Iruka's parents mere genin, there wasn't much to share. At least Iruka thought that way. It seemed Shougo though thought things differently.

"Why not? I like it." Shougo smiled cunningly.

"Well, I don't.", Iruka said and Shougo grinned, his green eyes flickering with joy as both boys arrived at the academy to start their day of training.

When the Nine-Tailed-Fox attacked the village later that day, chaos erupted and pupils were evicted from the Academy, as older students were called to fight while younger ones were escorted home by chuunin classmates.

Iruka was assigned to Shougo's group and stood in line, waiting before the Academy, curiously eyeing from afar a young Hatake Kakashi who was ordering his group to go for the Eastern Gate and out of town, after the first wave of attacks hit the village.

He was impatiently hopping from one foot to the other, ready to leave and seek for his parents, whom he knew to be assigned to their part of town, the western living quarters of mostly lower ranked shinobi, the part of town that he sometimes felt too embarrassed to invite any of his classmates or friends over to.

Someone like Hatake Kakashi for instance… who led such a different life to his, so full of promise and opportunities, despite his troubled past.

As soon as Shougo had gathered all the genin he was assigned to take care of, they left the Academy quarters, leaving the other groups behind, and soon found themselves hovering behind demolished walls and burning houses on their way to the western quarters, while the Nine-Tailed-Fox was wreaking havoc all over the town.

Some of the younger genin were crying and Iruka took their hands to comfort them. They had hid in this particular spot for at least twenty minutes and hadn't really moved for a while, with Iruka's home just in sight, a mere five hundred meters away.  
He knew that his parents had to be around somewhere….. He was dying to leave to find them.

"Shougo…. I need to go.", he whispered, and Shougo, who was watching the Kyuubi in the distance from behind a pile of bricks and mortar, turned around to look at him, a blank expression of panic in his eyes, masking it with the tone of authority in his shaking voice.

"You _can't._ I'm responsible for you. You stay here, Iruka!"

"I'm sorry, Shougo. I'll need to find my parents. You take them home. _Now_."

He handed over the smaller children to Izumiya who was also in the group, and left, not looking back.

He arrived home just in time to see his parents gather their gear, ready to leave after having gotten their orders to move to their assigned positions, his mother urging him to stay at home.

The expression on his mother's face was that of terror and relief; relief that Iruka was safe and had made it home from school, and terror as now she had to leave her only child behind to fight the monster they were up against.

She bent down to him.

"Iruka, you stay here, close the door behind us. And don't go out. I forbid you to go out, do you understand me?"

"But mom…. I want to-"

"You stay!" The expression in her eyes was fierce and made it clear that she allowed no objections.

"Yes, mom, I understand."

His father looked calm, yet a thirteen year old Iruka could see without a doubt that he too was troubled. Iruka was no longer a child, after all.

"We'll be right back, son. Don't worry." His father hugged him.

As they ran down that hallway, that last image of them leaving was burned into Iruka's mind forever.

When Iruka was called back to the Academy the next morning to receive the news that his parents had been found dead, Shougo was there, along with other chuunin.

Iruka was left in the hallway of Sandaime's office, waiting for the Third Hokage who wanted to make sure he was set up with everything he needed. Iruka had officially become an orphan, but he was too old to be sent to the same orphanage where much younger children orphaned by the attack were sent. Shougo joined him there, staring at the teary-eyed boy with an indefinable expression in his eyes, almost as if Iruka was a specimen from a different planet, now that he was orphan.

His voice was cold when he spoke, and for some reason Iruka never fully understood, it felt almost taunting.

"See, Iruka-chan? That's what happens when you don't listen to me. You should not have left."

Iruka looked up, meeting Shougo's eyes.

"What…?"

He looked around but there was no-one else on the hallway witnessing their conversation. They were all alone.

Through the haze of sadness and tears he was able to detect more than a trace of anger in Shougo's eyes. He looked around to make sure they were alone and then poked Iruka's forehead with his finger.

"It's your own fault. I was the one in charge and you shouldn't have left. You couldn't help them, see? Together maybe we could have done something… How inconsiderate of you."

"You cowered behind that wall!" Iruka spluttered out behind clenched teeth, looking up at Shougo. "You were afraid!" Tears had started flowing again, but he took no notice.

A flicker ran over Shougo's face and he bent over to whisper into Iruka's ears.

"Oh _yeah_? You know what? I saw your parents. I saw how the Nine-Tailed-Fox buried them under a pile of rocks. I bet they still lived for a while but of course I couldn't get them out all by myself, you see? They were useless anyway. _Genin_." He snorted. "It's _your_ fault, Iruka-chan, not mine. If only you hadn't left…."

And with that, 14-year old Masamoto Shougo turned and walked away, leaving a young Iruka behind in the hallway, distraught and shivering, until a worried looking Sandaime came to pick him up.

...

_Shougo…_

Iruka realized he never told anyone about that conversation in the hallway many years ago, not even the Sandaime, who became his mentor and a father figure to him in the years following the death of his parents, and who instilled in him the desire to become a teacher.

_Maybe because I was feeling guilty… maybe because deep inside I feared that what Shougo said was right. That if I hadn't left, we could have saved my parents in some way._

Classes were reorganized after the attack on the village and he and Shougo parted ways. Whenever Iruka ran into Shougo after the incident, he simply looked away, and Shougo ignored him just the same. Of course Iruka had heard about the scandal that Shougo was involved in later and how he fled Konoha a few years ago, but by then it really didn't matter anymore.

This, though, was a whole different story. Shougo had killed; he had murdered people in cold blood, not only in Konoha, but also elsewhere. This was no longer only about himself….

Iruka turned around, facing Shougo without being sure where exactly he was standing. He went by the general direction of his voice, but the wind was howling now, drowning it out.

"Shougo. It's you."

"Ah! So you do remember me." He snorted. "Umino Iruka."

"A teacher you are now. And Kakashi's sweetheart... Wow, who would have thought, huh? Iruka-chan not being into girls... He, I guess I knew that all along."

"Take off the blindfold, Shougo. It's useless now, is it?" Iruka raised his head, the blindfold too tight to move much. He figured it was no longer necessary. If the purpose of his blindfold had been to obscure the whereabouts of the Masamoto's hideout, they were far enough away now. And obviously Shougo had no intention of obscuring who he was anymore.

"I guess you're right, Umino. Always the wise guy. You haven't changed at all."

Iruka felt hands at the back of his head untying the knot and removing the blindfold. He blinked his eyes slowly, adapting to the darkness around him; his hands were still tied. He saw the face of Masamoto Shougo, older and rougher than he last saw him, but still the person he remembered. There was a long scar across his cheek that wasn't there before, no doubt one of the tokens of his time at the head of a criminal organisation.

They were standing in a clearing, not far from one of the Gates that marked the outer limits of Konoha. Which one it was he couldn't make out, but the moon shone clearly overhead, the clouds were blown away by the wind, so the gateposts were clearly visible over Shougo's shoulder. Iruka saw that his opponent was wearing a spear, no doubt the one Iruka was poked with earlier.

_The Red Spear._

Yes, he realized now that he had heard this name before. He remembered the incident that made Shougo flee Konoha years ago and how Kakashi was involved in it.

"You cannot win, Shougo. Kakashi won't…"

"He won't what?! Hah!" Shougo snorted again, turning around like he was talking to an invisible crowd of followers.

"Don't you get it, Iruka? Kakashi's coming here to get you. He's already on his way. With you two …" , he looked at Iruka contemptuously, "hooking up, I finally found something I could hurt him with. It doesn't even matter if I win. I just want to see his face when I hold this to your throat."

He raised the spear, moving closer, almost whispering.

"Kakashi has meddled in my affairs for long enough now. If I kill you in front of him, how do you think it would he feel? Or how about killing _him_ in front of _you_? How would you like that? Huh?"

His voice was merely a cold whisper now.

"Both of you can't stop us now. We're all over the place. So why not get rid of you two together to spare you the pain of witnessing what we still have in store for Konoha?"

He cackled and with a swift motion, hit Iruka over the head with the blunt end of the spear. Iruka slumped to the ground and was dragging towards the Gate, to the place where Kakashi was set to appear at any moment.

And there was no doubt in Shougo's mind that this time, Kakashi would be punctual.

...

It was exactly two minutes to the appointed hour that Kakashi stepped out into the moonlight, holding his nameless captive by the arm and approaching the huge wooden gate that marked the end of the northern territory surrounding Konoha.

His prisoner hadn't spoken all the way up here, hadn't answered a single question, but now stepping out into the clearing, started to giggle.

"Now this was fun." He mumbled, then turned around to grin at Kakashi.

"And it will get even more fun, just you wait and see."

Kakashi looked at the man, his brows furrowing slightly, then turned to take a good look at his surroundings. He had pulled up his forehead protector upon entering the clearing, the Sharingan in full swing now.

Even though the moon was fully visible and bathed the place in light, Kakashi couldn't make out anything or anyone waiting for them there. He knew he was on time, so that wasn't an issue, but he guessed someone like Masamoto Shougo wouldn't let anything get in the way of a spectacular entrance…

"Where are they…?", Kakashi hissed, but more to himself than to his nameless companion. The man in question just grinned and shrugged, then turned around whistling loudly, as if on a Sunday morning stroll.

Scanning the territory, Kakashi witnessed some movement out of corner of his Sharingan eye and focussed on that spot. There was a figure before one of the gate's posts and a dark shadowy thing slumped next to it.

Before Kakashi had time to react, a hand was held up raising a spear and the whole place was lit up with the light of at least twenty torches, no doubt carried by the entourage of Masamoto Shougo who was now facing them, with a pale and semiconscious Iruka forced to kneel beside him.

...

Unforgettable moments, ones that never leave you in your lifetime, are images and scenes imprinted in your memory for a reason, be it good or bad. You may curse yourself for remembering them or be thankful they're there, but you will never be able to get rid of them completely. They are the cornerstones of life.

If there was one sight Hatake Kakashi was sure to never forget again, come what may, it was the one he was looking at now.

Umino Iruka was on his knees, blood running down the left side of his face, his eyes turned downward, as if unable to look up, with Masamoto holding him by the shirt collar with his right hand, his left hand still raised holding the spear. The fire of the torches around them was flickering on his lover's face, painfully reminding Kakashi of just last night when, while they made love, the light of candles by the bedside shone over Iruka's face smiling at him, making Kakashi feel abundantly in love for what may have been the first time in his entire life.

What he saw before him now was just a caricature of last night, a cruel joke that was played on both of them, by someone who had ceased to deserve life a long time ago.

When Kakashi spoke through clenched teeth, heads turned. Only the cracking of the torches gave any indication that they weren't alone. Otherwise, there was silence.

"You will not get away with this. You may never regret what you've done to all those other people, and I can't make you, but I swear, I will make you regret _this_ for the rest of your life."

"Ha," Masamoto guffawed. "Always the self-assured Kakashi, ey? Nothing ever changes, does it? Not even in the face of this would you lose your composure." With those words still hanging in the air, he rammed the blunt end of the spear into Iruka's side.

Iruka, having heard Kakashi speak, had raised his head slightly and met Kakashi's eyes just when the wood hit him. He bent over slightly, huffing, but mastered his last resources not to wince in pain. He looked up again and this time held Kakashi's gaze, huffing still, but even when Masamoto tightened the grip on Iruka's collar to restrain him, he didn't break their eye contact. That gaze carried the faintest of smiles, and hope, albeit a desperate one, that both of them would make it out of there together somehow. He had never doubted that Kakashi would make it here. But now, to see the older shinobi, the one he loved, made the pain feel less eminent and made him feel less at Masamoto's mercy.

Kakashi held Iruka's gaze for a mere but reassuring second, nodding ever so slightly at him, before he grabbed his captive and held him by his arm. His voice was like rolling thunder from the depths of his throat.

"I have your man! I came alone like you asked me to! Let's do the exchange. NOW!"

With a quickly conducted motion, Kakashi pushed his prisoner towards Iruka and Masamoto, the red-headed man stumbling not to fall, causing a sudden murmur moving through the ranks, a commotion forming that was drowned almost immediately by Masamoto's shrieking voice cutting through the night air. Masamoto, who had observed the man he hated more than anything in his life, had, so it seemed, decided that this moment was as good as any to carry out his revenge.

"GET HIM! GET HATAKE KAKASHI! GOOOO!"

And when the Members of the Red Spear started to move and rushed towards Kakashi, some throwing their torches away, some hissing in rage, the eagle owl gave her last cry before flying up into the darkness, not to be heard again that night.

Iruka, who had followed what was happening, his side and face aching in pain, watched helplessly when at least 15 men rushed towards Kakashi, arms outstretched, while Kakashi's captive stumbled to the side and towards Iruka, barely noticed by anyone, focussing him with a cold and eerie, inexplicable stare.

Or so it seemed.

What happened next, happened in just a few seconds, too fast for the witnessing human brain to fully process in its entirety. Iruka remembered watching it like watching glass shattering, pieces flying off in all directions, with each one needed to solve the puzzle in the end.

It was masterfully conceived and masterfully executed, like everything else Hatake Kakashi set his mind to.

When the first Red Spear member got a grip of Kakashi's arm, a loud pop was heard, and although twenty men were hurtling themselves into the spot where Kakashi had been standing they were now met with a dissolving cloud of smoke. The man whom Kakashi had set free, the red-headed captive, came rushing towards Iruka, one arm out-stretched, his mouth opening to form words that were drowned out by the noise surrounding them but that Iruka thought he'd recognize as…

_Take my hand… now._

And when Iruka's eyes again met the red-headed man's eyes, he now saw a wildly swirling Sharingan above an outstretched hand and instinctively held his hand up high, awaiting to be seized by the hands of the man he knew since he was little but had never needed to see more than now in this moment, when their life was on a knife's edge and nothing else mattered than the other being there.

Masamoto's features froze fast watching the events unfurl, his voice sounding unbelieving.

"_Bunshin_… _bunshin no jutsu_…impossible!" he said, the expression of disbelief on his face as chaos and mayhem broke out around them.

But what Kakashi had shown wasn't just a simple Shadow technique, Masamoto realized. He had fooled them, fooled them all, and Masamoto felt a sour disgust rising up inside him, disgust at himself for having underestimated his arch enemy so profusely.

He should have known better, known that Kakashi hadn't come here the least bit unprepared.

He _had_ prepared and had fooled even Iruka, one thing that Masamoto had thought he could never do. But he had been wrong and had no-one else to blame for it now.

And that wasn't all.

The moment Iruka was snatched from the ground and heaved up into the air, those Red Spear members, catching nothing but smoke and dust between their hands, turned to see a white flash disappear up in a tree, with their Konoha prisoner by his side. To their feet, just where Kakashi had been standing, they found the numb body of the red-headed man, unconscious but alive it seemed, the bait that had been set out to fool them all along. After a moment of suprise had passed, they moved to follow Kakashi but were immediately stopped in their tracks by the rumble in the distance of a thousand tripping feet, the sheer amount of people approaching causing the earth to shaking.

Before anyone could move or flee, they were surrounded by hundreds of boys in orange jumpsuits. The earth was breaking up beneath them by the pounding of a strong hand from a girl with pink hair, causing some of the enemy to barely hold on to the edge of the crater she had created.

And last but not least, Masamoto Shougo, the moment he tried to move after his initial confusion had passed, found himself caught in an elaborate Mirror Shadow technique that only a future jounin of Konoha could hold for so long, barely blinking an eye, his hands folded before his face.

...

Iruka, keeping his eyes closed, felt nothing but soft wind streaming across his face as the now distant noise and commotion grew even more faint, with every move Kakashi made. Despite the pain that numbed parts of his body, he almost felt strangely comfortable, secure in a way, and after screams and yells got out of earshot, he opened his eyes and looked at Kakashi's face in profile, the older shinobi steadily moving through the night that was brightened up by moonlight, holding him tightly, each striding step Kakashi made through the trees bringing them closer towards Konoha.

Iruka's voice sounded hoarse when he spoke and it was audible that it caused him some effort.  
"There... there's blood on your vest... Is it mine?" Iruka raised his hand to touch the spot but couldn't tell whether it was his or someone else's blood. It just felt ... strange.

Kakashi didn't look at him, but the sound of his voice was soothing and calming, with a warm quality to it that made the answer to his question almost seem insignificant.

"Don't move, Iruka. Hold on. We're home soon."

Barely audible now, they heard a last distant "Kagebunshin no Jutsu" yell, Kakashi's brows furrowing.

"Naruto…" he muttered under his breath, mumbling something about someone rotting in detention forever. Iruka smiled.

"He's a good boy, Naruto. He came... to help."

Kakashi, tilting his head downward to look at Iruka, nodded once, followed by a small smile.

"I told you that you raised him well, ... remember?"

Though Iruka's lids felt heavy and tiredness set in, he managed a last smile before they finally fell close.

"... Yeah, I remember."

...

No noise in the shrubbery and no sight out of the corner of his eyes distracted Kakashi from his goal to bring Iruka to safety now. He made his way back to Konoha as fast as he possibly could, steadying Iruka to preserve him from harm, and took a last short-cut to to the Hokage Headquarter, where Tsunade and some other jounin shinobi were waiting for them in her office. She had been pacing the room impatiently while Kakashi was away.

The hallways of the building where ghostly vacant when they arrived, so the sound of Kakashi's footsteps sounded eerily prominent, a distinct thumping on the carpeted floors which reflected from the hallway walls, as he ran with one of Iruka's arms around his shoulder, more dragging than carrying the younger teacher along with him.

"_Get hold of yourself_…", he mumbled, while Iruka seemed to fall out of consciousness again, and with a few more steps he reached the doors to Tsunade's office and bursted inside. Asuma, who stood right behind the door when they entered, turned around to reach for Iruka.

"Izumiya!" yelled Asuma and the other jounin came to their aid.

Iruka tumbled, so Kakashi had to let go to steady himself. He was left to watch Asuma support Iruka by the waist while Izumiya grabbed the teacher's shoulders, both jounin laying his lover on the ground while Tsunade bellowed orders at some medical ninja outside to come up to her office and bring a stretcher with them.

After having done so, Tsunade rushed over to Iruka herself and knelt by his side, checking for injuries that required immediate medical attention. She held his face between her hands, studying Iruka with furrowed brows, stroking the young teacher's forehead lightly with her thumb and then turned to Kakashi, who still stood there watching and catching his breath, his eyes fixed on Iruka in hardly concealed alarm.

She smiled, ever so lightly.

"Kakashi… relax. Tell me what I need to know."

Kakashi looked at her, needing a moment to regain his composure, to snap out of it. He then nodded confirmingly.

"Ah, yes... Naruto, Sakura and Shikamaru are still out there. They disobeyed my orders and followed me to the Gate. They seemed to have had the situation under control though, when we… "he paused" …left. Still, we need to…". He shook his head.

Tsunade looked at him, pondering for a second, and nodded.

"We need to send someone out. You're right."

"I should go." Kakashi said, shaking his head and turning around to head for the door. "After all it was me who…".

"You stay here!", Tsunade said, raising her voice. Her eyes were fixed on Kakashi and it was clear that she was dead serious about it.

She looked at him, studying him, knowing that it was hard for him to let go off of what he felt was his responsibility, and her expression softened.

"You've done enough. You've done all you can for now. It's _okay_, Kakashi."

She turned to look at Izumiya who nodded and headed for the door, ready to gather some men to head for the Northern Gate, where Naruto, Sakura and Shikamaru were presumably still fighting their enemy.

"And after all, there's someone here who needs your full attention now.", Tsunade said and got up, a small smile returning to her lips, gazing at Kakashi. She exchanged a short glance with Asuma who gave him a short crooked smile and stepped back to make room for Kakashi to move forward.

It did not take long for the medical ninja to arrive. In this short while before they were seperated, Kakashi hesitated only for a second, glancing at Asuma, but then shook off whatever restraint was still left in his body and knelt down by his lover's side, reaching for Iruka's hand to hold it, whispering inaudible words of comfort to him until the doors opened and the medical team came in to place Iruka onto a stretcher to be taken to the hospital.

Kakashi, deep in thoughts, followed the little procession, his mask in his otherwise empty hands, simply needing something to hold onto now.

End of Chapter 15

(One more chap to go...)


	11. Chapter 16 - The end

Chapter 16

Umino Iruka opened his eyes and at first there was only darkness around him.

Through that darkness, as if from a place somewhere in the outer limits of his consciousness, there was the light of flickering fire and the sound of crackling, burning wood drawing close, then the cries of men and somewhere in there even a familiar voice of a soothing quality.

For a brief moment, before the thick darkness started clearing rapidly, he saw the flickering of torches and the head of a spear flashing before his mind's eye, images which made him want to raise and scream, but what felt like the weight of an invisible rock lay on his chest pressing him down, so he started blinking until he could discern what seemed like a dimly lit room, vaguely familiar, and something… _someone_ standing before a desk of sorts, his back turned to him.

There wasn't the trace of a doubt in Iruka's mind, seeing that silhouette, who was there with him, even though in the state he was in, he wasn't quite sure yet _where_ he actually was.

He tilted his head to the side, scanning his surroundings, and the sound of his loose hair on the pillow now made a slightly startled looking Hatake Kakashi turn around to look at him, a tea pot in one hand and a cup in the other.

It cost him a little more effort than he thought it would, but Iruka smiled.

The sight of Kakashi, not wearing a mask in the early in the morning, his hair tousled a little more than usual as if he had just gotten up, and dressed in a simple dark blue shirt and khaki pants, filled Iruka's heart with a deep satisfaction. It was a feeling so warm he was unable to express it in words, even more so since his mouth felt dry and all Iruka managed was a short, simple cough, before feeling utterly tired, although very safe, in Hatake Kakashi's bed, in what he now recognized as the older jounin's living quarters.

He had no idea, no recollection of how he had gotten here. Memories from last night were blurred and fuzzy at best, like a distant dream from a few nights ago, one that's usually forgotten soon after waking.

Kakashi, having realized that Iruka was awake, put the cup and teapot down on the desk beside him and approached the bed looking at him, putting his hands in his pockets. Iruka, dazed as he was, did notice the slight trace of awkwardness in that gesture.

"Hmm…. Why… ", he muttered, but words felt like marbles in his mouth.

He managed another small smile despite the pain that seemed to make itself known by now from various places in his body.

While trying to focus on what it was he actually wanted to say, Iruka noticed a whiff of Kakashi from all over the pillow and bedspread. Without remembering anything particular about it, he felt he knew that Kakashi had been with him all night, slept in the same bed with him watching over him while Tsunade's liquid chakra medicine worked its magic throughout his body.

Seeing Iruka wake up, looking no longer so pale, with even a faint red glow on his cheeks, eased Kakashi's mind unspeakably. He had no experience on how to behave in such a situation, but standing there, looking content, if that was the right word, just watching Iruka, felt in order, felt like the right thing to do.

One gaze at the window told Iruka that it was early in the morning; birds had started to sing outside as the sun crept over the mountains that carried the faces of the four Hokages before Tsunade.

Moving his mouth felt like moving a stubborn mule up a hill, but Iruka was compelled to try to speak anyway. He stretched a little, and found that stretching helped.

"Okay… why am I not in the hospital….. did they charge me too much for the bed there?"

He smiled and wiped a strand of hair out of the way, noting that the side of his head was bandaged where Matsumoto had hit him. Talking wasn't as painful as he thought it would be…. moving his limb was though, so he let his hand sink back.

The smell of freshly brewed tea was starting to fill the room and sunlight was falling on Kakashi's hair, making the tips of it shine with a glistening silver light; dust particles danced around him in the soft and still warm autumn air.

_He really is beautiful_, Iruka thought. _There's no-one but him for me. No-one but him._

Kakashi's lips merely twitched, his eyes seemed to twinkle with a flicker of joy and a witty retort he just thought of, which was rather unusual for the usually stern shinobi. Not right now though. Right now it was only him and Iruka, glad to be together again.

"Well, I hope that's not the reason why you approached me. Jounin don't make that much, you see. If you'd hoped to marry into money, or whatever your intention was, that's not what you're going to get."

"Dang," Iruka smiled lightly, "so it was all for nothing, hm? How annoying…".

He chuckled huskily, having sounded like Shikamaru there. His eyes wandered to Kakashi's right hand, still buried in the older shinobi's pocket.

He had to strain himself a little, but reached out his own hand, looking at Kakashi, smiling.

And Kakashi understood.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then took Iruka's hand, holding onto it while he finally sat down beside his lover's side.

It was a beautiful morning.

…

"Ah-ah, so Kakashi-sensei mixed a Bunshin no Jutsu with a Mangekyou Sharingan Genjutsu? It's so _flashy_… typically Kakashi-sensei."

Naruto snickered, holding his sides, as he went alongside Ebisu-sensei to Tsunade's office, to give a full report of last night's happenings.

Ebisu graced Naruto with a sideglance from underneath his sunglasses, commenced by pushing them back up his nose.

"Yes, he did. What else did you expect from him? He _is_ a jounin after all."

"Ah, that's right, Ebisu-sensei, I just didn't expect him to be so _cool_ about it."

He made a fist, chuckling.

"You should have been there. No-one can beat Kakashi-sensei, not even that stupid Masamoto-guy. Argh, why don't I have a Sharingan?"

He tore his hair, sighing to himself.

"Now that's what I'd need to fight Orochimaru! It's so unfair! "

…

Tsunade was sitting behind her desk, Hagane Kotetsu, standing to her left and Kamizuki Izumo to her right,when Naruto and Ebisu arrived.

Already present were Asuma, looking a little worn out from late last night's occurrences on top of having a heavily pregnant fiancee at home, Maito Gai, Izumiya, and Shizune, carrying a lively squeaking Tonton in her arms. Sakura and Shikamaru had arrived as well.

The atmosphere was orderly, if a little tense during lapses in conversation. Izumo eyed Iruka's chair to Tsunade's right, the teacher's absence creating a void that everyone felt. Whatever had taken Konoha into a stranglehold, whoever had taken lives and kidnapped Umino Iruka, had been defeated now, but the shock was profound and everyone in the room was now longing for good news of Iruka's recovery.

The one they were all waiting for was running late, but this time no-one in the room was holding it against him.

When footsteps could be heard from outside, everyone fell silent. Even Naruto kept still, biting his lower lip, anxious to hear about Iruka-sensei. The only reason he hadn't stormed to Kakashi's place this morning was because Sakura had threatened to thump him if he did.

Finally the door opened and a composed looking Hatake Kakashi entered. All eyes turned to him.

Kotetsu, gazing up from his wristwatch, opened his mouth in disbelief upon catching sight of the jounin shinobi. Shizune gasped, while Sakura raised one hand to cover her mouth to avoid doing the same.

Kakashi wasn't wearing a mask and he surveyed everyone in the room, taking in the attention almost coolly. He strolled all the way up to Tsunade's desk, his hands in his pockets, noteably not in any particular hurry.

The silence was eerie for a while. Until Naruto broke it, that is.

"Ah-mou, Kakashi-sensei, don't make us wait! I can't take it any longer." He clenched his fists but was smoothly cut short by Tsunade, shooting a fiery glance at him.

"Naruto, enough!"

She turned to look at Kakashi, who had started looking around again, taking note of the people in the room, the presence of some of whom he would not have expected, but accepted anyway. The hiding was over.

He turned back to Tsunade.

"Iruka … -sensei is well." Kakashi said, to utterances of relief all around.

He shifted his weight and gave Naruto a somewhat stern, undefined look which made the young boy freeze. Naruto exchanged uncomfortable looks with Sakura, who in turn looked at Shikamaru, who cleared his throat, avoiding the curious gaze Asuma shot at them.

"He slept all night and the medicine seems to have helped in restoring his strength. He's … ah, still a little under the weather though. He needs to have his bandages changed. I, well… I guess I'm going to be returning home… to do that a little later today."

"I can do it, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura said in a shy voice, raising a hand. She looked at Kakashi intently, who returned the gaze, then, after a while, gave her a soft nod. Naruto, despite his horror that Kakashi-sensei was not at all done with them, looked at Sakura in disbelief.

Why was she never that shy and sweet around him? He rubbed his right shoulder in remembrance of all the punches she had given him over the years, to that particular spot, and sighed deeply. He'd probably never understand girls. They were just too complicated.

"Okay. Thank you, Sakura." Kakashi said calmly. He turned to Tsunade, who smiled at him with that small tinkle in her eyes.

He took a deep breath.

"I guess.. well, I'm needed here anyway."

"Yes, you are!", Tsunade said, pounding her fist on the table emphatically, though her expression suggested that she was half serious and half teasing Kakashi.

"We have lots to talk about, and a trial to prepare! But first, Naruto, I want to know all about last night. Sakura and Shikamaru too, come forward! Let's get started."

And with that said, a exchange started that had Naruto, Sakura and Shikamaru recount the events of last night, after Kakashi had left the scene with a half-conscious Iruka by his side.

As it happened, the three of them had managed to detain Masamoto and the remains of the Red Spear long enough for Izumiya and at least twenty ANBU plus a few jounin and chuunin shinobi on top to arrive and capture them all and bring them into custody. Chouji, who had had to be convinced at first to not accompany them to the gate (since someone had to get help in case it was needed), had led Izumiya and those he brought along to their location.

Masamoto and his gang were brought back to Konoha and currently being detained in the basement of the Hokage Headquarters, filling at least fifteen prison cells.

Kakashi, who had stepped back a little and leaned against a pillar, looked at his feet while he listened to Naruto's story, unable to suppress the feeling of pride upon hearing how cleverly the remains of former Team 7 and Shikamaru, had used their abilities to engage and outwit an enemy that anyone, even himself, would have considered to be still out of their league. And yet, they had succeeded and he - Kakashi had to admit that to himself - had been wrong about them.

If Sasuke had been with them, chances were that they might even have succeeded against Masamoto without his own Bunshin and Mangekyou Sharingan trick. Sasuke, after all, was carrying a Sharingan as well.

Team 7 had grown up before their eyes. And it was time to acknowledge that while Kakashi was still their leader, there would come a time when they wouldn't need him as their teacher anymore, and instead need him as their comrade, and that time was not too far ahead.

Kakashi's eyes rested on Naruto, who ended his story by telling how he performed the A Thousand Years of Pain technique on Masamoto just before the man was finally taken into custody, snickering and meeting Kakashi's eyes in the process, holding his teacher's gaze for a moment, giving him a broad and happy smile.

_Not yet though,_ Kakashi thought. _Not today. You've raised him well, Iruka. Indeed you have._

When the meeting finally disbanded, Kakashi ran into Asuma on his way out the door, and received a clap on the shoulder. Asuma rested his hand there for a while, a lopsided smile on his lips that held a cigarette between them. It was an unusual gesture for both of them, at least in front of chuunin shinobi, but only Naruto seemed to notice.

He watched Asuma-sensei whispering a few inaudible words into Kakashi-sensei's ear, his hand still resting on his shoulder almost reassuringly, to which Kakashi-sensei nodded and met Asuma's eyes, giving him an ever so slight, yet relieved, smile. Naruto had no idea what was being talked about, but he felt happy for Kakashi-sensei, as if he had arrived at a place that was no longer lonely and sad, but filled with friends and laughter and someone by his side.

And he now wouldn't need those utterly boring books anymore!

After parting ways with Asuma, Kakashi was about to make for the ANBU archives to file a report and add another folder to the "Case closed" cabinet, when he heard the tapping of feet behind him, and turned to see a breathless Uzumaki Naruto running towards him, the young boy's face flushed both with worry and excitement, and a little guilt to boot.

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei, sorry for keeping you." Naruto grinned, scratching the back of his head. He put his hands in his pockets, searching for the right words, while everyone around them was leaving, and Kakashi noticed that in this moment, though one was taller and one shorter, they were mirror images of each other. Sakura glanced at them while she passed along, with Shikamaru in tow.

Soon they were alone and Naruto scratched his foot on the floor, looking up at Kakashi, finally finding the words he wanted to say.

But before that, he sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry, really didn't want to disobey your orders but we really couldn't stay at home and do nothing." He slumped, then sat on a table by the door, seeming somewhat unhappy.

Kakashi glanced at him, then took a deep breath. Disobeying an order notwithstanding, this was no time for punishment.

"I'm … sorry too, Naruto." He shook his head, folding his arms over his chest, pondering.

"I guess… I mean, I should have taken into account what Iruka is to you. It was probably selfish of me to cut you out like I did. I tend to brush aside other people's feelings sometimes. I have been told that before."

He winked at Naruto, yet he could see that the younger one's thoughts had drifted off, possibly around a certain person, a young Uchiha boy with a penchant for Drama.

It was a characteristic quality all of the Uchiha boys had, in one way or another. Itachi, Sasuke and, well…. Obito too.

Naruto sighed again, this one almost too big for his body, then looked up at Kakashi, a sly smile forming on his lips.

"Soooo….. Kakashi-sensei, are you going to marry Iruka-sensei now? Because you said you can't, but Shikamaru checked the scrolls in the archives a while ago and said you can. It's just that no-one's ever done it before..."

He grinned but it was obvious to Kakashi that the question was honest. Out of the blue, maybe, but honest.

He cleared his throat and scratched his head absently. There was no doubt in his mind that Naruto meant well. After all, Iruka was like a father to him. How to reply to that question was a different matter though.

"Naruto….. well, let me see how to phrase this…..".

He was quite aware of what Naruto was talking about. He had mulled over that thought in his mind quite a few times lately, more or less consciously.

Technically, Shikamaru wasn't all wrong with what he had found out, so much was true.

Kakashi clearly remembered studying the relevant passage in the Konoha scrolls founding the village's constitution, dating back to the first Hokage. He remembered it well because back then, Obito had on one occasion argued with him about it, virtually stating the same as Shikamaru had done, which had prompted Kakashi to read the passage himself, checking into the archives on his own.

For the young, unenlightened man that he was back then, what he found had unnerved him. He remembered how it made his pulse quicken with no idea why, but he never had had the chance to talk to Obito about it since he died shortly after that. Up until recently though, there was no reason to reconsider what he thought to be the status quo in that respect. Up until he realized he had fallen in love with Iruka, that is.

In the scrolls, as he had found out back then, marriage was indeed described as a union between two _shinobi_, not so much a man and a woman. That of course had to do with the fact that back in those days when the scrolls were written down, Konoha virtually consisted only of shinobi inhabitants, as a military outpost only later turning into a village. Marriage, so it seemed, was designed to give two shinobi that took care of each other during those turbulent times a legal standing, in case one of them died in the various wars that the Country of Fire was embroiled in.

Over time, it had become tradition, the norm, to assume that the scrolls suggested marriage to be between a female and a male shinobi, and no-one ever really questioned it even though it wasn't stated quite like that. It had become the status quo, even after _being a shinobi_ at all had ceased being a requirement for getting married in the first place.

The practice of marriage between a man and a woman was just never really cast into doubt. Well, up until today, it seemed.

"Naruto, you see…..", He looked at the boy and sighed. "It isn't quite as simple as that. People are stubborn. And traditions do mean something, to all of us. Besides, I…," he shook his head, "Iruka-sensei and I… a lot of things can happen you see? It's not like other people's lives and decisions necessarily are a recipe for everyone."

"And", he averted his eyes, seeming thoughtful, "I guess it's a little early also."

Too many things in his life had turned out to be fragile, especially the relationships and the people he cared so deeply about. They were a part of his life, so deeply embedded into his persona that it was hard to let go of them.

It should have felt strange to be talking to Naruto like that, and about such a private matter, but strangely, that wasn't the case. To Kakashi's surprise, it felt quite right. Maybe even nice.

"Ah, I see."

Naruto nodded, a little sadly but nonetheless followed Kakashi when the older man started moving.

"So is that a 'no', Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto looked up at him.

Kakashi took a deep breath and glanced down at Naruto, pondering how to answer that question.

Finally, he smiled lightly and shook his head, not knowing what to say. He wasn't sure if Naruto would understand. He was still so young, after all. But then again, Naruto had learned his own lessons the hard way. Uchiha Sasuke probably being the most meaningful of them.

"Come on, Naruto, let's get going. There are some things I need to tend to, and you haven't had lunch yet, have you? I bet the others are already waiting for you."

He waited until Naruto was beside him and gave him a amicable pat on the shoulder, leaving his hand there while they went outside. They made their way to the stairway that led to the first floor of the Hokage Headquarters, rounded a corner, and left the office behind them in silence.

…

When night fell, and after Kakashi had finished all his business at the Hokage Headquarters, he made his way home, carrying two bentou boxes with him. Shino-sensei was selling them a little up the street, and they had incredibly tasty freshly smoked mackerel, and rice that smelled so fragrant and elegant that a lot of people wondered what the secret ingredient was. Shino-sensei's bentou boxes were famous all over Konoha and not at all cheap, but that was the least of Kakashi's worries tonight.

As he walked through the soft and unusually mild autumn air, Kakashi's thoughts drifted off to how he and Iruka had returned to the apartment from the hospital late last night. After a thorough examination Tsunade had claimed that all that Iruka needed was to sleep through the side effects of the Chakra medication she had given him and that he would, if all went well, most likely be making a full recovery in just a matter of days.

And after the medical ninja team had left his house and Iruka had fallen soundly asleep in his bed, Kakashi had eaten a bit, showered, and finally joined Iruka's side, the younger man's breathing calm and steady. For some reason, while he was waiting for sleep to come as he watched Iruka's chest move up and down, he had remembered Rin.

_I guess it's him, Rin. He must be the one you were talking about. _

What a strange and wilful thing it was, being in love. And how thoroughly it had captured him, like he never thought it could. Rin, though, had known all along.

He propped up his collar against a strong wind gust and rounded the last corner to the door that lead up to his apartment, a single lantern flickering warmly at the top of the stairs.

He entered his apartment, the two bentou boxes dangling from his wrist, expecting Iruka to be lying in bed, asleep after Sakura had changed his bandages in the afternoon. But instead, he was greeted by the clanking and clattering of pots and pans. A soft light fell into the hallway from the doorway that led to his living room.

Entering it, he found Iruka, with his back to the door, limping towards the cupboard where Kakashi stored all his pots, pans and cutlery (admittedly, in total there were only three plates, four cups, a bunch of chopsticks that didn't match and a pot and a pan that looked like they were last used when Sandaime was still Hokage), carrying some dripping cups that he must have washed in the kitcken in one hand while stabilizing himself against Kakashi's desk with the other, huffing a little in the process.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kakashi burst out, to Iruka's surprise it seemed, as he turned around, looking slightly flabbergasted, his task so trying that he obviously hadn't noticed Kakashi's arrival.

His cheeks flushed a little, as if from surprise, but maybe also because Kakashi had inadvertenly sounded slightly stern.

"Oh well…..", Iruka said, placing what he was carrying onto the counter and leaning against it so as not to lose his footing,"…just giving something back, I guess."

He studied Kakashi's face and smiled, wiping a damp strand of lose hair from his forehead.

With fresh bandages on, he had changed into loose fitting khaki pants and a clean T-shirt . He looked healthier, even glowing a little with some newfound energy, but his face still showed traces of last night's ordeal.

Kakashi, himself taken aback by a sudden rush of emotion, placed the bentou boxes on the desk and rubbed his wrist absentmindedly, looking at his lover, overwhelmed by just how beautiful and enticing he seemed to him in that moment. It was a new feeling, one that he realized he still had to get used to.

"Well, I… I didn' t mean to sound so ..", he said, managing a small smile back. "You're supposed to rest though, aren't you?" His brows furrowed, and what could have been conceived as even more sternness, Iruka was able to decipher as barely concealed worry on the older man's face.

"I've rested all night and day, Kakashi. I'm not made for resting. Besides, those dishes seemed like they could use a little warm water." He looked around, putting his hands on the counter behind him, taking in the surrounding.

"This place seems like you haven't been here a lot lately. I guess there were other things you had to take care of, weren't there?"

Iruka smiled warmly and finally, after studying Kakashi for a little while, he held out a hand. It was an invitation.

Kakashi looked back at Iruka and moved closer and took the hand that was offered to him, entering a warm, breathless embrace.

Lips locking, Iruka slid his arms around Kakashi's back, and their soft, tender, emotional kisses were only interrupted by short utterances of happiness that the other was there, after all they'd been through in the last few days.

"I'm so glad you were there last night," Iruka muttered huskily, his mouth against Kakashi's ear.

"I was so happy to see you. I knew you'd come for me. I just knew it. But still, seeing you there…." He smiled, his lips tickling Kakashi's ear.

Kakashi, still a little hesitant to hold Iruka too close for fear his elaborate bandages would come undone, closed his eyes, the warmth of his lover's body enticing yet comforting at the same time.

Now, that things had been resolved and their relationship was more or less out in the open, he never ever again wanted to let Iruka go. And with a little luck on their side, and both of them surely deserved that, maybe he wouldn't have to.

"I guess… you should know that people know about us." Kakashi mumbled, through thick strands of Iruka's hair. To him, it smelled earthy and alluring.

His left hand on Iruka's lower back had slid underneath the younger man's shirt, the feeling of warm skin against his fingers all the more reassuring.

"It's not that I told them on purpose. I think it became obvious after you… were gone."

Iruka started smiling, seeming to ponder an appropriate reply.

He sighed after a while, his hands resting on the older man's waist.

"I don't think I care." He drew back, looking at Kakashi, a thoughtful smile on his lips.

"I think I love you, Kakashi. Let them talk, for all I care. I've waited so long for something like this to happen. There's no reason to hide, you see. No reason at all."

Kakashi held Iruka's gaze, picking up on that boyish smile and returned it. Of course, he hadn't expected Iruka to say anything else. That was just like him, and for all Kakashi knew, the younger man had always been that way, ever since he had found himself the center of the village's attention when his parents died fourteen years ago. He was fearless in the face of public scrutiny; a trait that Kakashi wished he possessed just the same. As things stood, it was indeed Iruka who was the stronger of two, he thought. So far. Maybe it was time to do a little catching up in that regard.

Thinking about it, there was probably a lot more he could learn from him. And Kakashi intended to do exactly that.

"Well, I'm glad you see it like that." He shifted his weight. "And … I do feel the same. Call me a stubborn fool for taking so long to find that out. I guess I'm a true shinobi after all."

Kakashi's smile became lopsidedly, as if he was letting his guard down. Quite endearingly so, Iruka thought.

"The best, if you ask me, but don't let that get to your head." Iruka grinned, then glanced at the bentou boxes on the counter.

"Food…. gosh, I could use some of that right now. I feel as if I haven't eaten for days." He smiled and Kakashi nodded towards the table where they had tea together for the first time. To Iruka, remembering that felt nostalgic, but only in a good way.

"Well, let's eat then." said Kakashi, "I know I haven't been the best host before, but I'm hoping to improve."

…

That night, Kakashi's bedroom was filled with breathy moans and exclamations of love underneath the flickering of candles.

When morning came and Kakashi was short of falling asleep beside a soundly sleeping Iruka, something rather strange happened.

A mockingbird landed on the window sill and tilted its head, seeming to look inside, at them both lying in the bed. Its eyes met Kakashi's and in his tired haze, he felt as if that bird had come to visit for a reason, as if it was not looking _at_ Kakashi, but looking _into_ him, studying his very soul. It seemed content with what it found, and just when Kakashi meant to open his mouth to say something, it flew off.

He wasn't a big believer in the afterlife, or the heavens, or whatever might be out there, but this morning, just before he finally fell asleep, Kakashi felt as if Obito, Rin, even his father were there with him, seeing him off into another phase of his life, one in which he wouldn't need to think of them as often as had.

But there was no doubt in his mind that he would keep them in memory, the way they deserved.

…

The events that had unfolded were the talk of town in public places and shop corners all around Konoha for the next few weeks.

Although Orochimaru was still a lingering threat, and there was talk of a new and dangerous organisation of wild shinobi having formed somewhere, with Itachi, Sasukes older brother being a member, Konoha went back to the way it was before the Red Spear had reappeared, alert and on the move towards the outside world but protected on the inside.

It went back with perhaps one exception.

Hatake Kakashi, the renowned jounin shinobi as famous for his accomplishments as he was for his excentric antics and elusiveness, would now often be seen in the company of academy teacher Umino Iruka, at the Dango Parlour for instance, or on the way to the Academy or at the Hokage Headquarters, sometimes both just walking the streets in the afternoon, absorbed in quiet conversations, oblivious to the world around them.

And more often than ever, these days Kakashi could be seen without his mask, especially when Iruka was with him.

Of course, for those that knew them, this was hardly news.

Ino swore she had seen Iruka and Kakashi exchange a brief kiss one cloudy afternoon, on the balcony in front of Kakashi's apartment, after both had gazed over their shoulders to see if anyone was watching. Konohamaru denied it, saying he saw the same thing happen, but it was in the morning in front of Iruka's house and it had been raining that day. Sakura said that she saw them in front of Ichiraku Ramen in the evening, holding hands and exchanging a few words, only to let go of each other, hands wandering into their pockets, both smiling self-consciously, when she came to greet them.

It wasn't something that was widely discussed in the open, but Konoha soon grew accustomed to the sight of them leaving the house together in the morning and returning home together in the evening. The had joined the rounds of those "other" couples people knew about, but didn't explicitly bring up in conversations, since now that everyone knew about them, there was nothing much left to talk about.

To their friends, they simply became family.

One morning, a few months after those events in late August, Shikamaru, on his way to the Academy, entered the main street to find Kakashi and Iruka walking past his door, nodding at him, both smiling politely before they commenced on their way, Iruka carrying a pile of books with him. Walking behind them, something seemed to catch his attention and he noticed that Kakashi and Iruka were each wearing a ring on their finger, Kakashi on his left and Iruka on his right hand.

It made him smile.

He had thought about marrying one day, thinking it would be nice to spend his days with someone he really, really liked. For instance someone who looked like Temari and had Chouji's personality…. or someone who looked like Chouji and had Temari's personality… Well, he hadn't really figured out the technicalities yet, but for some people, it seemed to work out in the end, and Kakashi and Iruka, ... they seemed to be among those for whom it did.

Epilogue

The rain was falling hard on the ground, little white splashes of water exploded on the surface of the stone memorial. The air was thick and heavy and moist, as usual when a thunderstorm hit the Country of Fire, and the person underneath the umbrella was wrapped in thick clothing, protecting him from the rain.

Kakashi, holding a fresh bouquet of flowers, came closer and laid it on top of the memorial. He ran his fingers over the stone and rested his palm on it for a moment.

Despite the heavy rain, the stone felt warm, as if it had been exposed to sunlight all day long and had never have the time to cool off. It felt good, this warmth. Familiar.

Iruka, standing to Kakashi's left, carried some more bouquets, one for Sandaime, one for Rin, one for Iruka's parents and one for Kakashi's father, whose graves were a little further up the hill.

When they returned that night to the warmth and quiet of Konoha gearing up for colder months to come, meeting up with Naruto at Ichiraku's, danger was already on the horizon. Itachi was only days away from setting his feet onto Konoha ground again for the first time in years.

But for the moment, things were peaceful and life … yes, _life_, of all things, was good.

The End

* * *

Author's note: Thanks for everyone sticking with this story till the end. I had a great time writing it. Kakashi and Iruka will forever be among my favourite couples out there and even though I may have portrayed them differently than Kishimoto had intended, this story feels real for me and so do Kakashi and Iruka and how they defied all odds and managed to find love together.

I'll be around, currently writing some original fiction, so not much time for fanfiction left.

Lastly I want to thank my amazing proofreader Mary whose sometimes brutally honest (:p) assessments helped me making this story enjoyable, offering opinions from an outside perspective. A great part of the credits belong to her.

Feel free to comment on this story, or leave a review. I may add more stories here later, if I have the time for it.

Wow, it's been a wild ride. Kakashi and Iruka... here's to you.

Lent


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